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Original poster

Funniest thing on your school report

145 replies

KMA2023 · 20/08/2023 19:56

I am an oldie so did O levels and actually did well. We had an amazing form tutor but apart from frequent asthma attacks I hated school and would skive off anytime I could get away with it.

His end of year comment was "KMA2023 does really well at school but would do even better if she actually turned up".

My parents would probably have been fined now but I didn't care.

What's your best school report comment?

OP posts:
wendywoopywoo222 · 20/08/2023 21:03

Aged 7 I got.

Wendy is not built for athletics.

They weren't wrong.

Helenloveslee4eva · 20/08/2023 21:09

LoserWinner · 20/08/2023 20:36

Chemistry
Exam mark: 100%
Teacher’s comment: LoserWinner could do better in this subject.

🤣

mine was kind of similar “ could be better in combined studies if didn’t have to keep going out for music lessons “
Exam grade A+

music grades were also good.

however she made me hate combined studies so I did neither history or geography at O level even though I was better at them than the science route I took in the end . Funny how a teacher at 12 can make or break a whole career.

mane I still remember all the stuff we did about kalahari bush men ,and the bog bodies topic we looked at primary sources for …

whatsinanameeh · 20/08/2023 21:10

"What is afraid of the ball"

In my year 8 PE report, I longed to hide from both the football and other players at every opportunity

Amethystanddiamonds · 20/08/2023 21:19

PE "amethyst tries hard but is not naturally gifted in the sports we've tried this year." This was the year we'd done hockey, swimming and gymnastics/trampolining. I was competing in hockey at county level, swimming at club level and I'd been doing gymnastics (although not competitively) for several years. I swear they just didn't know the difference between me and my best friend.

RomeoMcFlourish · 20/08/2023 21:19

“Romeo does not listen in class or contribute ideas during discussions. She has also failed to submit draft copies of coursework as requested and instead submits her final copy on the deadline, allowing no time for adjustments to be made”. Finished off the report by predicting me an F in English Literature and Language.

I got A*s for both.

KatieB55 · 20/08/2023 21:32

Music - she must learn that talent is no substitute for practice.

towriteyoumustlive · 20/08/2023 21:35

My GCSE music teacher wrote in my report that "towriteyoumustlive thinks she is better than she actually is".

I got an A* so not sure how I could have done better?!?!

KatieB55 · 20/08/2023 21:37

Form teacher wrote that I was good at keeping the stationary cupboard tidy!

QuestionableMouse · 20/08/2023 21:40

"Mouse isn't very sporty and isn't a team player."

Which totally ignored the fact I was riding for a riding club team at national level!

I just fucking hated netball and no one had ever bothered to explain the rules!

AFingerofFudge · 20/08/2023 21:43

Chemistry teacher: "I would like to be able to give Fudge a mark for Chemistry. However she has turned up for so few lessons that I cannot".

My dad wasn't impressed with that school report 🤭

sentinent · 20/08/2023 21:45

In my sister's reception or Yr1 report: "S has now started speaking to the other girls in the class". She's now a corporate lawyer. 😅

evtheria · 20/08/2023 21:46

RitzyMcFitzy · 20/08/2023 20:14

'has got over the incident with the pyramids'

not
a
clue

🤣🤣🤣 what, would love to know!

Pebblesflintstoneandbambamrubble · 20/08/2023 21:46

Pebbles needs to return her library books at some point and actually do her homework

Fair enough-i did neither

Other than that,I was one of those kids that never bothered anyone and was unrememberable

Not a report but one teacher told my dad (i was sat next to him) on one parents evening in primary 'pebbles is behind,it's because she's really thick'

Nah,it was undiagnosed dyslexia you evil bitch

Years later,I bumped into her,she started kissing my arse-i wasnt having that and gave her what for

She claimed she 'couldn't remember' and 'wouldn't have said that'

I'll take the lack of library books and lack of homework,but I'm not thick

lanthanum · 20/08/2023 21:47

RustyBear · 20/08/2023 20:39

PE/Games report “Rusty continues to take a little gentle exercise”

Doing better than DH, then: he got "Rarely moves."

Songlines · 20/08/2023 21:47

'Songlines is refusing to let me see any of her work. Either it is top secret or she intends publishing it. If the latter I trust she will send me an autographed copy'
From my much adored English A level teacher.
I went on to get an A and a very big hug from him.

Original poster
KMA2023 · 20/08/2023 21:48

I also got c minus for every essay from my o level English teacher every time but got A's for both literature and language at o level.
They were so nasty and opionated. They should have been our emancipators.

OP posts:
Fizzadora · 20/08/2023 21:53

Fizzadora makes a great show of working but actually gets little of real value done. My grammar school head teacher for 3rd year RK.
It's a mantra I have lived by. I think it's a very masculine trait and has served me, along with a very shallow personality and absolute refusal to feel guilt about anything, very well😉

AwayYouGo · 20/08/2023 21:57

Mine isn't funny, but a sentence that meant the absolute world to me, for reasons I won't go in to so as not to spoil the thread. Suffice to say my school years were spent being bounced around numerous foster and residential placements. I don't have any physical possessions from my youth, but this one sentence is entrenched in my mind...

"Away has a musical talent rarely seen in anyone her age".

It just gets to me even now, 40 years later that someone said something nice about me, especially as music was my escape. God bless Mr P Grin

RobertJohnsonsShoes · 20/08/2023 21:59

That I am a student that always follows through.

Excuse me?! Grin

Createausername1970 · 20/08/2023 22:01

Can't recall a school report, but a work appraisal once stated that I could be "a bit abrasive, which was no doubt due to my northern upbringing".

Harsh.

Especially considering I had never lived north of London.

Thatsshallot1967 · 20/08/2023 22:06

LetUsPounce · 20/08/2023 20:27

In the subject Art, in 1982:

"LetUsPounce tries."

Talk about damning with faint praise 😂.

Yeah I got that frequently: "Shallot tries hard".

Nothing else. Not very academic me, I guess. Blush

purser25 · 20/08/2023 22:17

X must realise that their charming won’t help them academically

user50and · 20/08/2023 22:21

My Dad (80 now) on his report for Carpentry.
'David could do very well. If only he could see over the bench'
He was a bit diddy aged 11....

CakAndMoreCake · 20/08/2023 22:22

Cake achieved very well in the end of year exams. I believe if she attended frequently her results would be exceptional.

(actually I spent a lot of time in the library reading, it probably did me more good)

cfmtb · 20/08/2023 22:23

Not me but my younger brother at age 12 'if XXX would spend half as much effort on maths as he did on drawing penises on his friends books, he would be excellent'
I'll never forget my mums face as she tried to tell him off whilst finding it hilarious