Why do men do this???

[Parrrrple]

We need to be somewhere by 11.it’s an hours drive. I wanted to set off at 9am as that will give us time to get parked, get something to eat etc … DH thought that was too early so we compromised on 9:30. He’s dat doing nothing until 8:20 at which point I reminded him he needs to start getting ready. 9:30 arrives and at this point he decides he needs a poo and a shave. Why????

Because he had no intention of leaving at 9.30

Faffing designed to control.

My DH isn't like that. In fact if we agree that we're leaving at 9.30 he's more likely to have the car packed up and be standing in the car at 9.20 with his shoes on annoying the rest of us who are still getting ready! I will add that we are always all ready at the pre agreed time.

My ex was like that but he was a coercive controlling abusive arsehole.

Sorry - to add, my dad is the opposite and always leaves with plenty of time to spare. Don't know that it's a man thing generally

My OH isn’t like this…. If we agree a time then we stick to it give or take 5-10 mins.

Just go without him if he's not ready at the agreed time.

“Men” don’t “do this”

Your DH does this

The control shit. My dads specialist trick.
Call it whst it is. And if you're late tell them 'sorry we're late my husband went for a shit just as we needed to leave'

Let 'king baby' hear it how it is.

I don’t think it’s a man thing really… I know women who leave everything to the last minute too.

Not a man thing but clearly your DH thing.

It's a control thing. Rather than outwardly tell you he had no intention of leaving at 9.30, he decided to piss you off instead.

Might not be a control thing. With my DH it’s an ADHD thing.

Yes mine too

Designed to control as another pp said

Does he have to go? Getting left behind for faffing sometimes cures them.

I would leave without him.

The key question is who will be inconvenienced by being late?

Yep.

Same.

He was especially bad when we were meeting my friends or doing something I had planned. Perfectly capable of getting himself to places on time when it mattered to him. 100% about control in his case.

My ex was like this. I’d arrange all trips (necessary or fun) and give a very set time to leave (only I could drive). So if we were leaving at 9am, at 8.50am I’d be running around making sure we had everything, I was washed, dressed, bags ready, prep sat nav etc. He’d not be in anyway ready, he’d not see that the kids didn’t have shoes or coats on, all he was prepared for was chucking his own bits on and sauntering to the car in his own time. Then he’d have to go back for x, y, z, double check the doors and general faffing. All part of the deliberate incompetence dance. Then wondered why all trips started with an argument that soured the whole day…

Correct.

my ex wife also used to do it.

for the same bullshit reasons.

except the shaving. It was something else.

My dad is an early leaver too. Always ready.

They do it because they are either piss takers faffing to control as someone said, orhave terrible concept of time management.

Either way, I leave without them. I used to work with my DH and often he massively underestimated how long it will take him to e.g. brush his teeth and put shoes on sk would be rushing out the door to get the next train on his own. His brain just doesn't work that way and it stresses him as much as anyone else.

Oh yes absolutely. When he needed to be out the door on time, wild horses couldn’t have stopped him. I always said to him that he behaved like his time was far more important than mine…

Definitely depends on the man.
My dad doesn't do this. Would he say waiting for everyone else.
My husband does do this.
I think it's just the way they are wired. My husband is LAZY! 😆