Yes, I understand that but, whenever there are posts on here about lazy useless men, there are often multiple childen, dogs, a large house with a big mortgage. None of those just happen out of nowhere either.
I've read many a thread where a woman is moaning about her husband being crap during pregnancy, for example, and it turns out she's been with him for years, he was like it during her first two pregnancies too and this is her third. And they just got a puppy and she can't cope. And she's finally had enough.
I've read a thread this week with a husband/father wanting to take their children away for a week and the wife/mother isn't happy with it. Her personal feelings aside, so many responses were questioning his ability to cope. How would he care for the children, meet their needs, entertain them on his own? How do people think single mothers manage? No one questions women's ability to cope. We just expect them to be able to. Just totally infantilising.
Many women infantilise men. And I don't know why. Perhaps it meets a mothering/nurturing need in them. Or it suits a personal narrative. It's no different to the narrative that men don't know their own minds, or they don't understand why certain behaviours are upsetting and why so many women ask "how can I get him to understand?" He does understand, he just doesn't care. Find one who does before you saddle yourself with babies, a mortgage, and depend on him in any way whatsoever.
My mother used to fawn around men. Bless him, he doesn't know how to x, y, z. Yes, he does. He's a functioning adult. And she's not alone. I've had friends turn down invitations to dinner out because they can't leave him to feed himself. Why? Oh, he wouldn't know where to start!
I know several families where, due to differing work schedules, the men do the cooking, laundry, cleaning, shopping etc equally to the women. I only know a few couples where the man is 'incompetent' and in every case, the woman admits its because she took over everything in the early days either so that he could rest or because she believed she could do it better (bless him, he tries...). In the early days, the men were just as capable. But get told to go and sit down and put your feet up or that you've done it wrong often enough and a new normal develops. Everyone can be lazy and, if someone facilitates that, you will be. Everyone would rather do something they enjoy rather than chores!
We have friends coming over this evening for dinner. We decided what to cook together, made a list of chores together, made a shopping list together, went to the supermarket together. At the moment, we are sitting in the garden drinking tea together and after that, we'll start cooking and do the chores. Together.
Oh, I tell a lie. He's just stood up to take the washing off the line and fold it before taking it inside.
I'm still sitting on my arse typing this! 🤷🏻♀️