Sleazy text from colleague, how to reply?

[Chickentikka567]

I work in a job where we occasionally work with different people from various areas, sometimes we can work with someone once then not see them again for weeks.
Anyway, I worked with a male before around 10 years older. We're required to have all colleagues' numbers to arrange meeting times.
I worked with him for around an hour as required, he seemed pleasant. Asked me if I were married but I thought it was just chit chat.
I arrived home and an hour ago I received a text saying 'Got any single friends for me? ;) '
I haven't replied. Not sure whether to ignore/reply/report to HR?
Unfortunately not the first time I've had things like this. It's out of order. My reply would be telling him it's completely inappropriate.

😂😂. Reply with the link to tinder

I think you sent this to the wrong person.

Do not engage him AT ALL. Ignore it. I had this with a male colleague and even two years after he left the company every couple of months he would message me again. I eventually blocked him. These sleazy types think any kind of response is a come on no matter what.

Do I look like Tinder/Grindr? Let's just stick to work related messages in future.

"Yes, I do actually, my friend Ben is very keen on the older man".

Years ago my friend Rosie had a unsolicited dick pic from a colleague and she returned it with a picture of her husbands somewhat more prosperous dick pic and to this day it lives rent free in my head, imagine that guy just getting a picture of a better penis, a penis with a future.
His reaction must have been amazing.
Rosie is my hero actually, someone online threatened to rape her and she sent the entire DM to this guys mother.

I’ve worked with many neurodivergent people and they have never been reported or accused of improper conduct. Plenty that are not neurodivergent have though.

I actually think saying Behave yourself ! may come across as flirting back.

I think the this is not an appropriate text and this number should only be used for work-related messages is far better and less likely to be mistaken as anything else.

I’d say “You’ve texted the wrong number. This is Chicken from work.”

Very clear, but on the off chance he has actually made a text mistake, doesn’t escalate anything yet. Any response other than a grovelling apology - HR time.

Can we please have just one thread about a man’s poor behaviour being potentially attributed to neurodivergence before the end of page 1?
Just one.
Please.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 "sadly noone is interested" LOVE THIS!!!!

*without it being attributed to

Oh I've just thought of another reply!

He asked - 'Got any single friends for me? ;)'

Well, he didn't specify women, did he?!

Reply with - 'I'm sorry but I don't have any homosexual friends. Have you tried Grindr?'

When I saw the title of your thread I was expecting something much worse, so I'm glad that at least it wasn't a dick pic, but you're absolutely right that it's not an appropriate text for him to be sending a colleague, especially on a phone number that should be only be used for work and especially when you only met him for (if I've read this right) an hour. It's not like he could even claim that the two of you are mates at work so he thought you'd take it as a joke or something.

I don't think I'd say anything to HR at this point. I would take a screenshot and I wouldn't reply at all. If he texts again, I'd reply with something like 'I'm not comfortable with you texting me like this - this number should only be used for essential work stuff.' Then if he texted again, that's when I'd speak to HR/my line manager.

I don't think you'd be unreasonable to go straight to HR, if you think that's what would be the best course of action - just saying what I would personally do. Only you really know what the dynamic is at your workplace and what sort of vibes this idiot gave off when you met him.

No is all that is needed. Screenshot then ignore.

A simple erm no should be enough OP. Think the HR talk is a bit much unless he continues.

I would screenshot and reply back. Think you have sent this to the wrong person. If he carrys on then HR

Nah. I'm sick to fucking death of men like him. I would escalate the hell out of it and I would tell him I'm doing so. I would take pleasure in imagining him bricking it. Until the vast majority of women absolutely refuse to tolerate this shit things will never change.

Perhaps reply with 'this is inappropriate and unwelcome. Any further messages like this will be taken up with HR.'

‘Yeah, but they all work in HR’

^ This, there really is no need to run to HR over one message that isn't sleazy, pathetic maybe but not sleazy.

absolutely what @TyrannosaurusSex said.
@Hearmeout made my eyes roll abit- thats a minefield9 if anything tho reitterates you do what @TyrannosaurusSex suggested.

I would just send a "🤨"

What is it with people on here calling men "a male" btw? What's wrong with "a man"?

Do women like being referred to as "females"...?

This 100%.

I would tell HR. This is completely inappropriate and why should you ignore it just because it’s the first time? I bet he wouldn’t be texting a male colleague like that, complete with a sleazy wink, after just meeting them just once. It’s misogynistic and unprofessional, he has been given your number to organise work stuff so this isn’t a reasonable way for him to use it. Report it and let HR decide whether this crosses a line.

Does your work supply the phone? It's unreasonable to have to share your private phone number with lots of people, particularly if some of them do not respect that it is for work purposes only. You've said it's not the first time, so I would be asking HR about changing the policy.