Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I tell OW Husband?

256 replies

Daffodil18 · 18/08/2023 10:55

I’m so conflicted on what to do and it’s weighing heavy on me. I feel like I’m now a part of the affair with the secret and lies.

YABU - I should not break up another family
YANBU - He has a right to know

OP posts:
RandomForest · 21/08/2023 18:14

Daffodil18 · 21/08/2023 15:20

Thank you for all of the support it really helped me to get clarity on the situation. Yeah I’ve not come out of this smelling of roses. My ExDH thinks I’m vindictive and OW’s DH was not being very nice to me, even though he did say he was glad I told him. The backlash isn’t great but I think everyone deserves honesty and not to be lied to.

Yeah, I got called a devious bitch for finding out about my h's affair.

Pay no mind. Flowers

momonpurpose · 21/08/2023 18:23

PalaceOfThePanda · 21/08/2023 15:41

You’re being vindictive? Hilarious! Your ex-DH’s problem is his new loss of control. He doesn’t like it. Well, tough.

Exactly! You did the right thing OP! Best of luck on your new life. You will have your hard days but you have got this. Don't let them make you feel you were wrong. You are not

LongDarkTeatime · 21/08/2023 19:52

So sorry to hear both men are trying put there feelings on to you.
Your STBexH is completely out of order trying to make you feel bad for a situation he and the OW caused.
Hopefully the other husband will soon see his unhappiness is due to both his wife and his best friend betraying him, not you, while still devastated, trying to work out what to do.
Take care of yourself OP x

CClaire · 21/08/2023 22:02

my guess is he will stay with his wife and they will hate you (in order to unite and move on), but you couldn’t have stayed quiet in good conscience, so you’ve done the right thing regardless of the fallout.

T1Dmama · 22/08/2023 08:16

Daffodil18 · 21/08/2023 15:20

Thank you for all of the support it really helped me to get clarity on the situation. Yeah I’ve not come out of this smelling of roses. My ExDH thinks I’m vindictive and OW’s DH was not being very nice to me, even though he did say he was glad I told him. The backlash isn’t great but I think everyone deserves honesty and not to be lied to.

You’re vindictive?!?! That’s funny since it was him screwing his best friends wife behind his wives back for god knows how long!! Then going to that same poor bloke for support when you left him…. AND trying to manipulate you with threats of suicide!
What a piece of shit your ex is!!!

Hold your head high and block the 3 of them! Let the 3 of them get on with their own messes now. Your priority now is you, and your DC.

DoomsdayPrep · 22/08/2023 18:44

Take it easy. You'll be going through a shitstorm of surging and conflicting feelings for a while.

Focus on you. She's got a husband who threatens to kill people and a deceitful gaslighting boyfriend who threatens to kill himself.

Vengeance not necessary in that hell.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread