The other mum on the ward WWYD

[Lwrenagain]

I've just given birth to my beautiful little DD but she's been quite unwell and I'm only able to hold her during her feeds as she needs the light therapy for jaundice.
I'm naturally devastated, incredibly grateful I'm next to her and can hold her, bit we've not really had much time with cuddles etc yet.
Anyway, because of this, even though I've had a section, I'm well rested.
I really don't do anything but look at my baby. Like now, I could be asleep, but I'm just unable to.

Anyway, there's a mum here who's also had a section and her wee DS is quite unsettled and she sounds for lack of better description, fucking shattered.

I think they're asleep now but the poor woman hasn't had a minute to rest, let alone sleep. Bless her baba, he's a half an hour and wide awake lad!

I don't want to be weird or make her uncomfortable at all, but I'd like her to know if she wants a few hours kip I'd happily mind her wee fella for her, he's bottle fed so she could realistically get a bit of sleep. I feel awful for her and I'd love to help.

Would I seem like a creepy weirdo trying to steal her baby or would it be one of those "it takes a village" things and she'd be happy for the chance of sleep?

I don't want to make her feel awkward or anything, but I'd like her to know if she needs some rest, I'm literally a curtain away.

Tbf I'm not even sure why or what I'm arguing. We (including the NHS as an institution and individual staff and the midwifery council) know things can be and are shit and risky for women pre,during and after birth or pregnancy. If you don't,read about it. If you don't want to know , or don't believe it that's fine , but don't stomp in with your high and mighty made up facts , going "it's your baby" and like you're somehow better than the women who struggled.

You cannot add together percentages. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Isolated figures show nothing. Increasing figures would indicate an issue. High figures compared to other countries would indicate an issue. One figure on its own like you’ve presented shows nothing.

Quite 👏

That isn’t the point that’s I’ve made. As I’ve said over and over if you’re medically unwell then support should be provided. If not then tough, if it’s your baby. I am well aware of the risks regarding childbirth. TWO stays in intensive care. That isn’t the same as tired. Women are tired when they have a baby. That is life. And is not the responsibility of the NHS.

If you read the post properly that poster did not state her DD had been discharged. She stated the other mother had been discharged.

No. She said “when she was discharged” which could have been her daughter. It’s not entirely clear.

It was perfectly clear.

You said, If they were unwell we would see maternal deaths, re admissions etc. You didn't mention trends, I gave you an example of mothers being readmitted.

@Iwasafool I have statistics (then fucked up in a further post) but apparently that wasn't good enough because it didn't show an INCREASE in readmissions. So I just gave up ... eventually.

No you need to read it again. I said another mother was helping me by lifting the baby, when she (the other mother) was discharged (which meant I was getting no help) my stitches split.

In the hospital I was in the nurses took the babies while I got some sleep but they gave me a choice if I wanted them to or not and eventually after 4 nights I said yes for a couple of hours

Thank you. I think it is pretty obvious to most mothers that they wouldn't be discharging a new born baby without her mother.

I disagree.

I think it was clear to anyone who has given birth in a hospital which makes me wonder..........

With all the emphasis on establishing breastfeeding it is probably the last thing they'd do.

Then you need some support with your reading comprehension skills.

1. I assumed you were going with her as there was no real mention from you of severe medical issues.
2. infants are often discharged without their mothers. Lucky you to have no experience of that.

If the poster and her DD were being discharged she would have written “When we were discharged…”

Give over! You produced isolated statistics comparing readmissions for vaginal versus c section and then added them together! What you provided was completely irrelevant to the thread. And you think you can add percentages together 😂😂

1. If we had been discharged I'd have said we.
2. I've never heard of a new born being discharged without their mother except where the baby was being adopted or social services were removing them or the mother was dead.

Can you give examples of newborn often being discharged without their mothers.

Not necessarily. I was discharged before my daughter.

And several women I met in HDU were discharged AFTER their infants. Absorb that.

You have again misread a post. I did not comment on the situation where only the infant was discharged. You said ”I assumed you were going with her” and I pointed out if that was the case the pip would have said “when we were” not “when she was”.

I don’t need to “absorb that”. I know perfectly well it happens. I was not commenting on that situation at all.

Examples?

Sure.

I had placenta accreta, suffered a massive bleed and was in ICU for 2 days. I was transferred to HDU and then discharged. My daughter remained in NICU for another week.

Lady in HDU with me had a 3 week old. She had spent 2 weeks in a coma. Her baby (born healthy) had been home for the duration. She met her daughter at 2 weeks and 3 days.

Quite bizarre to me that you aren’t aware of this harsh reality.

Well you are. Because you assumed she would have written we. I’m saying she could have referred to her daughter. Because it could have.