The other mum on the ward WWYD

[Lwrenagain]

I've just given birth to my beautiful little DD but she's been quite unwell and I'm only able to hold her during her feeds as she needs the light therapy for jaundice.
I'm naturally devastated, incredibly grateful I'm next to her and can hold her, bit we've not really had much time with cuddles etc yet.
Anyway, because of this, even though I've had a section, I'm well rested.
I really don't do anything but look at my baby. Like now, I could be asleep, but I'm just unable to.

Anyway, there's a mum here who's also had a section and her wee DS is quite unsettled and she sounds for lack of better description, fucking shattered.

I think they're asleep now but the poor woman hasn't had a minute to rest, let alone sleep. Bless her baba, he's a half an hour and wide awake lad!

I don't want to be weird or make her uncomfortable at all, but I'd like her to know if she wants a few hours kip I'd happily mind her wee fella for her, he's bottle fed so she could realistically get a bit of sleep. I feel awful for her and I'd love to help.

Would I seem like a creepy weirdo trying to steal her baby or would it be one of those "it takes a village" things and she'd be happy for the chance of sleep?

I don't want to make her feel awkward or anything, but I'd like her to know if she needs some rest, I'm literally a curtain away.

No, I’m not. Pointing out the OP would have written “we” if her and her DD were discharged was in response to you posting ”I assumed you were going with her”. And, I actually wrote “If the poster and her DD were being discharged” not that the poster and her DD definitely were discharged at the same time. If I thought they were definitely discharged at the same time I would not have written “if”.

I’m just wondering if @JenWillsiam is professionally unpleasant to women or just on the internet.

I don’t work with women so no opportunity to really 🤷‍♀️

Do you socialise with any women?

I will say it again. “She was discharged” is not clear. Your starting point is not mine. You can say it was but to me it was not. And that’s literally the end of that back and forth.

I do indeed and none they would all agree - if you are in medical need you get help. If you’re tired crack on. Welcome to motherhood.

Then you really do need support with your reading comprehension skills.

I cannot fathom what you’ve said there!

Which I suppose may be part of the comprehension issues?

It’s a typo. The word none should not be there. It should have said:

I do indeed and they would all agree - if you are in medical need you get help. If you’re tired crack on. Welcome to motherhood.

OP, congratulations on your dd! You sound so so so lovely and as someone who has been in that other mums shoes, if you feel up to it, please offer. I struggled so much when my first ds was born it was awful. In the end a glorious midwife took pity on me and took my baby for four hours so I could sleep. I still send her christmas card 11 years later. I truly believe she saved my life. When my second was born (it took me 6 years to do it again) my journey was so much smoother so I made sure I returned the favour and spent one night supporting a first time mum who was really struggling. She was having such a hard time and her mother in law brought me chocolates the day after as a thank you. Just offer. Congratulations again

You’ve had that exact conversation with all your female friends….. really?

Pretty much yeah.

Christ, you’re a fun night out 😂

It’s a support group for people who have had hysterectomies during child birth. So no, it’s not fun and is not meant to be.

🤔

What?

She left about 3 hours ago, I hope to get some much needed rest!

I was only a young thing when I had my first so I wasn't overly exhausted by him, but he was a baby who just didn't bloody settle unless being held! Like a few others on the thread he had to come for a wee with me, so even though I was OK with that at 19, at 30 it would have pushed me over the edge!

Women = we did not win the body lottery 😂😂😂

😂😂😂😂😂 you must have been on a bloody nice hospital or are talking about 30 years ago. You're lucky to get a paracetamol when you ask for one on a postnatal ward nowadays, never mind someone taking off your baby for a few hours so you can kip.

So your daughter wasn't discharged before you.

Someone in a coma wouldn't have any relevance when I clearly wasn't in a coma as I clearly said I was struggling to pick the baby up, although I suppose you will say it would be difficult to pick the baby up if I was in a come but then again that wouldn't really explain my burst stitches.

Are you really going to claim that babies are often discharged before their mother (your words) because the mother is in a coma?

So lovely that you wanted to help xx ❤

1. I didn’t say often.

2. I didn’t say my daughter was discharged before me.

3. coma isn’t the only reason for difference in discharge dates. If baby is well enough to leave and mother is too sick to care for them mother will be discharged first. If infant is in NICU and mother is well mother will be discharged first.

Thank you for your lovely words.

I really hope you’re doing better now too 💐

16 years ago for me and I remember it like it was yesterday. Shocking experience. HV was encouraging me to make a complaint but I just didn’t have the energy. I’d complain in a heartbeat if it was today.

You did say often. You posted “infants are often discharged without their mothers.”

Happy to stick with often. Are you suggesting it doesn’t happen?