The other mum on the ward WWYD

[Lwrenagain]

I've just given birth to my beautiful little DD but she's been quite unwell and I'm only able to hold her during her feeds as she needs the light therapy for jaundice.
I'm naturally devastated, incredibly grateful I'm next to her and can hold her, bit we've not really had much time with cuddles etc yet.
Anyway, because of this, even though I've had a section, I'm well rested.
I really don't do anything but look at my baby. Like now, I could be asleep, but I'm just unable to.

Anyway, there's a mum here who's also had a section and her wee DS is quite unsettled and she sounds for lack of better description, fucking shattered.

I think they're asleep now but the poor woman hasn't had a minute to rest, let alone sleep. Bless her baba, he's a half an hour and wide awake lad!

I don't want to be weird or make her uncomfortable at all, but I'd like her to know if she wants a few hours kip I'd happily mind her wee fella for her, he's bottle fed so she could realistically get a bit of sleep. I feel awful for her and I'd love to help.

Would I seem like a creepy weirdo trying to steal her baby or would it be one of those "it takes a village" things and she'd be happy for the chance of sleep?

I don't want to make her feel awkward or anything, but I'd like her to know if she needs some rest, I'm literally a curtain away.

Yeah, this was twenty years back. Anyone could walk in during the day to visit. I'm sure security is better now.

My mental gymnastics? Yet you ignored where I have said repeatedly you’re expected to care for baby if you are medically well enough.

My mental gymnastics? Yet you ignored where I have said repeatedly you’re expected to care for baby if you are medically well enough.

And I keep saying that many women are expected to care for the baby even when they aren't medically well enough and that is an issue. That's what you keep replying to. The fact that many women in hospitals (and outside but that's another thread) are expected to look after a baby when they can't and no support or help is forthcoming. Not just that ,but they are portrayed as less than .

Oh F off with your judgemental comment. The toilet was big enough for the crib on wheels. DC was perfectly safe, safer in my sleep deprived mind than leaving the DC to scream uncared for in a room full of adults.

And again, I’ve not seen any examples of that. Mothers seem to think by virtue of giving birth they aren’t well enough to care for a baby. That’s nonsense.

I was readmitted within 24 hrs. Hope that helps.

I was in hospital when my stitches split.

This has been my most commented on thread, I'm kinda proud 😂😂

The mum got some kip when her partner came in and I'm still wide awake just snuggling my little person, so all is good.

I wish we lived in a society where we could trust each other more etc or wouldn't feel judged for either accepting or offering help, but that's just not really the way of the world.

I suppose it comes down to, just because I know I've got nothing but good intentions to help another mum, she has no idea that's the case. It's not like giving someone your lipstick in a pub toilet cause the shade suits them more.

You realise that people are all different. You were fully capable of caring for a new born baby immediately after a EMCS and with a broken leg but it doesn't mean other people will feel the same. Women are frequently ignored and a midwife decides you aren't ready to push/you aren't in pain/you are well enough to get up and do cartwheels round the ward but it doesn't mean it is true.

No. Anecdotal stories doesn’t make a trend. I broke my leg at 33 weeks. Does that mean breaking your leg whilst pregnant is a common issue? No.

I'm absolutely horrified at the level of vitriol heaped on @CoffeeIsTheAnswer1 . She never gave birth in hospital so didn't know how it all worked, and therefore asked a few simple polite questions. She never claimed to be an expert, and never suggested that unwell mothers just went home. She just wondered what were the advantages of staying in hospital if a new mother was feeling fit and well and the level of support in hospital was very poor.But Jesus she was torn to shreds for asking a simple question. What ever happened to women supporting each other, and passing on information when someone doesn't understand something because they've never experienced it??? Fucking hell!

Medically well enough is just that. Medically well enough. If you aren’t you aren’t.

You just said when your daughter was discharged. Now you’re saying it’s when you were in hospital?

@JenWillsiam

For all women,
the postnatal readmission rates were higher following a caesarean birth compared with a vaginal birth in both England (4% vs 3%) and Wales (5% vs 3%). Some readmission rates for you.

Medically well enough is just that. Medically well enough. If you aren’t you aren’t.

And that's the bloody(sometimes literally) problem! That even when you aren't there is no support and you're still expected to look after your baby yourself.

Of course readmission rates were higher for c section. So?

Just realised it didn't tag you properly, @CoffeeIsTheAnswer1

Sorry you got such shitty responses to your posts.

Won't they take the baby to the nursery if she needs to rest? In US hospitals they do.

Congratulations, OP! Great news - enjoy the newborn snuggles. I hope you're both home ASAP.

As to whether staff will look over babies, when I gave birth the other month a midwife offered to take a mum's baby for a couple of hours during the night after she was falling asleep holding baby. Sounded fairly routine - midwife said to ask in future.

@JenWillsiam well you said "we would see deaths, readmissions etc". if what we're saying is true.as if they don't happen. I was showing you they do. 7% in England and 8% in Wales have been readmitted. If we're talking deaths, around 200 women.

You might think it's a low number or insignificant, but the truth is we ARE SEEING "deaths,readmissions etc.". If you don't, well as DD says, that's a you problem.

increase in them obviously. Higher rates than other countries. why have you just increased the figures as well?

Lol. No. In the U.K. there are (almost) no nurseries. Sympathy or basic help is in extremely short supply on postnatal wards.

I didn't increase them, i added vaginal and csections together which I admit, depending on the data might not be the right thing to do.

Why would we see an increase ? An increase would show that things are even worse than we think. Rates staying the same would still be bad , given the advances in medicine,better knowledge and equipment etc.

Anyone else wondering if some of the people commenting on this thread are the kind of maternity staff who really lay into women, refuse pain relief and generally treat them appallingly badly?