The other mum on the ward WWYD

[Lwrenagain]

I've just given birth to my beautiful little DD but she's been quite unwell and I'm only able to hold her during her feeds as she needs the light therapy for jaundice.
I'm naturally devastated, incredibly grateful I'm next to her and can hold her, bit we've not really had much time with cuddles etc yet.
Anyway, because of this, even though I've had a section, I'm well rested.
I really don't do anything but look at my baby. Like now, I could be asleep, but I'm just unable to.

Anyway, there's a mum here who's also had a section and her wee DS is quite unsettled and she sounds for lack of better description, fucking shattered.

I think they're asleep now but the poor woman hasn't had a minute to rest, let alone sleep. Bless her baba, he's a half an hour and wide awake lad!

I don't want to be weird or make her uncomfortable at all, but I'd like her to know if she wants a few hours kip I'd happily mind her wee fella for her, he's bottle fed so she could realistically get a bit of sleep. I feel awful for her and I'd love to help.

Would I seem like a creepy weirdo trying to steal her baby or would it be one of those "it takes a village" things and she'd be happy for the chance of sleep?

I don't want to make her feel awkward or anything, but I'd like her to know if she needs some rest, I'm literally a curtain away.

That’a why the baby is there. Mother don’t get admitted for that! The mother is recovering from a c section which is major abdominal surgery. She is probably in for observation.

Around 2010. I may be out of touch. Like I said, I didn't have babies in hospital myself. I had to be in with one postnatally for a couple of days, but my Dh was allowed to stay with me in a private room then, so I had help.

Yay for your baby getting better

It would be a very bad idea to hold someone else newborn as the baby needs to bind with its mother so would get very confusing

Bond

That's a medical reason to need to be there then. Glad your baby is good now OP.

I'm just reading all these posts of mothers who say they had no help and were all on their own. So if there is no medical reason and all is well, I'm genuinely curious what services they are staying in hospital for.

Genuine question,

having read the OP, do you not understand why OP is in hospital still?

She states her baby is unwell.

You were told in the OP the medical reason, so why did you ask?

Clearly you haven't had your morning coffee or you'd have noticed I asked about people who have no medical reason. ;-) Obviously having to have your baby under lights is a medical reason.

Seriously I don't understand why women all go along with this. Absolute torture. If no one worked as unpaid auxiliaries the nurses couldn't expect you to.

That never happens. Ever.

When I gave birth a few months ago the midwives wouldn't even watch my baby while I went for a wee and to change my pad let alone "put her in the nursery or watch her at the nurses station".

It would if the patient refused and said I need to sleep. It's a hospital. For patients.

I'm asking about collective posts where others are sharing experiences, not OP specifically. She obviously is in there with reason so clearly the question isn't about her.

They're still legally responsible for the safety of the baby on the ward. People shouldn't ask. Say "I'll be away for a bit". Then go.

So I've learned. Maybe we need volunteers on wards to give the mothers more support?

So who said anyone was in hospital for the sake of it?

You’ve not had NHS maternity care, so why you think you’re an authority on it, god only knows!

Since when do they look after babies overnight? I thought they haven't done that since the 80's?
I had very long labours with complications and not once did they offer to help. All they did was have a go at me for falling asleep once whilst feeding.

I think you're just reaching for an argument with someone. Never claimed to be an expert but you read into it what you want. I find what I'm reading about postnatal care on this thread sad.

I would have in the state I was in after giving birth . I'd been awake for three days and had a baby who wouldn't sleep so when someone came and offered to give baby a bottle I drifted off hoping it had been a midwife who had offered? but unable to do much about it as I gave in to fatigue. I woke up an hour later feeling a bit better with my baby sleeping beside me.
OP that was a nice thought to have.

Sorry I though you were the poster who suggested the baby went to the nursery? But it can’t have been you as you’ve no knowledge of maternity care, apart from watching call the midwife, which is a little outdated now.

Was that not you?

As PP said “you ok luv?”

Exactly, as I said previously sleep deprivation alters everything. You did the right thing getting a sleep.

Nurses taking babies to a nursery wasn't really a thing in 2010, I was expecting you to say the 70s or 80s.
Depending on the hospital the nursery might still have been there but that doesn't mean to say it was used.
You are talking the UK aren't you?

It's disgusting, there are hospitals which allow partners to stay on wards overnight.
Which in turn means, women who are in a very vulnerable state just given birth, can end up sleeping on the other side of a curtain from a random bloke because hes in with the woman in the next bed. Far to much trust that all Dads are kind considerate people.

I had my baby in 2021 when covid restrictions were still around. Obviously there's no nursery in a UK hospital but they took my baby for a few hours and looked after him on the nurses station in the night after I'd had him at 6pm having not slept in 3 days. I had a forceps birth and couldn't get up by myself after having an epidural, I was having to buzz them to get them to pass me him anyway. It was pretty clear I wasn't really safe to be sat in bed trying to feed so exhausted so they offered to take him.

Baby 1 I was in 1 night and never saw any staff really I was fine, although tired and could sort myself. Baby 2 I gave birth at 8am and was discharged by 12 so didn't actually spend any time there, again barely saw a member of staff. If you need the help and can't physically look after your baby they will help, if you are expecting someone to take your baby when you are otherwise fine they probably will decline given how many women they are looking after.

Mixed replies then 😁

Luckily her wee fella is catching some Zs, hopefully she'll get some and all.

I'm in absolute bliss with my baba and I'm just on cloud 9 with snuggles and smelling her etc 🙈

Thanks for all replies everyone!

It was a private room and he wasn't allowed out except for visiting hours. No other women in the room. I agree it wouldn't have been appropriate in a shared room or ward situation.