Left 5yo alone in a restaurant for 2 minutes

[Havanawinter]

I was in a chain restaurant with DS today who is 5, 6 in November. After the waitress had taken our order I went to the loo, leaving DS happily colouring at the table. Before I left I told the woman at the table next to us (who had young children) that I was nipping to the loo and could she please keep half an eye on DS.

When I arrived back at the table literally 2 minutes later I was basically chastised by the waitress for leaving. “I didn’t know if you were coming back for him! I was so worried!” Which seems a bit far fetched considering I’d also left my phone, purse, keys and bag of shopping on the table. She huffed at me again and left, but I could see her taking to her colleagues across the room about it. That was the end of the whole thing but it left me feeling a bit weird, it never even occurred to me that I was doing something wrong but now I’m wondering if my behaviour was unreasonable? Honest opinions welcome!

I would have taken him with me.

I don’t necessarily think you were wrong for leaving your child but in defence of the waitress- it’s really not nice to see a child on their own and then feel an obligation to keep an eye on them (and as a member of staff in a chain they’ll almost defiantly have something written into their policy on this, on top of the general moral one just to make sure the child stays safe).

I used to work in a London tourist attraction that was basically surrounded by public walkways (so defiantly a totally different situation to what I imagine was a relatively quite restaurant but still parallels in the situation) and the amount of people that would walk off and leave their very young children alone in the queue or somewhere in the ticket office or just around the public walkway. Even in a matter of minutes so much can happen whether that be someone up to no good or even just a fire alarm. And as a member of staff the moment I spotted a child on their own it was on me to make sure they stayed safe till we could get our security team out to take responsibility and that was not nice when a) I don’t want to be looking after a child I have no prior knowledge of b) I would have to totally drop everything else I was doing which would be a nightmare on a busy day. As an attraction we would of got destroyed if anything happened to a child on or close to our premises but then I also would of felt horrible personally if I could of done something to stop a child getting hurt.

Also- you might of only been gone a couple of minutes but the waitress didn’t know that and you have no idea of the waitresses’ previous experiences around children being left on their own. Again I had a handful of situations where the parent had parked up baby/ toddler, pushchair and their belongings and swanned off to sort something out at another attraction or headed off to another part of London- easily taking them to the 30min- 1hour mark. Maybe it has been the case that a parent has popped off to do a few bits in other shops without having to carry all their bits with them which would have taken substantially longer than a couple minutes popping to the toilet.

Again I don’t necessarily think you did anything wrong- that is 100% on you as a parent to assess the risk and work out what you’re happy to accept- but I also don’t think the waitress did anything wrong, it’s just one of the things you have to accept if you do something that others may not agree with.

The waitress needed to mind her business, it's not the end of the world and any decent human would keep an eye on your son, people love to get on their high horse, we get told to be kind, then kicked by people that should be supporting us

The waitress needed to mind her business, it's not the end of the world and any decent human would keep an eye on your son
What, like the waitress did? 🤔

I thought his mother left him outside a butcher's shop when she went in to get something?

James was left alone by his 25-year-old mother Denise for five minutes as she went in a shop

I take mine with me. The eldests go into a cubicle together & they’re to remain locked in until myself & youngest ones come out of our cubicle. I wouldn’t be leaving them at a table. I don’t leave my kids with relatives, so I definitely wouldn’t be asking strangers to keep an eye on them.

Any particular reason why you don’t leave your kids with relatives?

No particular reason other than just choose not to.

My nearest relatives are 300 miles away so I didn't leave mine with them either.

In all honesty kids are more at danger from relatives than strangers. Most abuse of kids if from someone close to them

At 5/6 a normal kid is capable do colouring at a table alone for 2 mins. Bloody absurd and an overreaction

No you're wrong. A child is referred to as an infant up to 1 year old. After that they are toddlers. I had a quick google and can't find anything to say a 6 year old is an infant.

I absolutely would not say it was fine what they did. I don't know anybody who thinks it was ok. Anyway that's a totally different scenario altogether. Their children were left alone, the child in the OP wasn't.

No he wasn't. He was never left alone. She let go of his hand to pay for some shopping. That was it.

The case is more comparable to momentarily losing a child in a busy playground or park than anything else. I've done that a few times. Unfortunately there were terrible consequences, but James was never left alone (under anyone's supervision or not) and it was a different situation entirely.

What a bunch of loony replies you got!
If your child can be trusted to sit still and not panic why on earth would you need to take them to the toilet with you?
Plus it's a kid old enough to talk, if the waitress was worried she can ask your kid can't she?

There you go again. It is one thing to disagree with people but quite another to label them this and that. You say that I am overprotective, which is personal. You have no idea if I am over protective. I have put ideas forward on here. You know nothing about how I conduct myself in real life. Leave me alone.

You are intimating people different to you are some how lacking.

Over protective is not a “label” it’s an opinion.

Now leave me alone.

Exactly this!

A five - six year old is generally quite able to understand the instruction to sit still, and don't move, while you explain you will be in the toilet for a couple of minutes. You know your child. You maybe could have alerted the waitress, but I don't think you actually did anything wrong.

You make your children lock themselves in toilet rather than just wait by the sinks? Sorry but that is an abnormal level of paranoia.

I agree!

Not least because there is a far greater danger of them ending up locked in and cant get out than there is of anything happening while they wait outside the loo!

Happened to DD once when we were holiday and I had to climb over the top of the cubicle to get her out. She was about 5 and I had told her not to lock the door.......

They lock themselves in….

This is seriously worrying, how old are they?

Whilst that's true, are you actually concerned your parents are siblings are abusers or just not taking the risk? Do they understand they're never to be alone with your child in case they molest them?
I assume you homeschool

They could have been mine except my child was 5ish. The world isn't perfect but the chances that the Mom sat with her own kids or the lady who's just come out the loo is actually not just a child abductor but is also in a position to actively abduct seems so remarkably low.
Walking through town, much more chance of a kid being grabbed because there will be people walking around looking. It would be odd of they're loitering outside Asda loos looking for women with double buggies