Left 5yo alone in a restaurant for 2 minutes

[Havanawinter]

I was in a chain restaurant with DS today who is 5, 6 in November. After the waitress had taken our order I went to the loo, leaving DS happily colouring at the table. Before I left I told the woman at the table next to us (who had young children) that I was nipping to the loo and could she please keep half an eye on DS.

When I arrived back at the table literally 2 minutes later I was basically chastised by the waitress for leaving. “I didn’t know if you were coming back for him! I was so worried!” Which seems a bit far fetched considering I’d also left my phone, purse, keys and bag of shopping on the table. She huffed at me again and left, but I could see her taking to her colleagues across the room about it. That was the end of the whole thing but it left me feeling a bit weird, it never even occurred to me that I was doing something wrong but now I’m wondering if my behaviour was unreasonable? Honest opinions welcome!

So the waitress is an idiot for being concerned about a child's wellbeing, when every day you hear horror stories? Seems the idiot here is you.

JFC, do you live in Victorian London? 🤣Maybe you should help the poor brats find work in a factory or up chimneys instead!

It depends on many little things like how far away was the loo? Was it in visible distance. And surely if it was near and child happily drawing and you’d told him and he’d said ok it was just politeness to inform nearest adults where you were going for a few minutes so they weren’t alarmed. It’s not putting your child in their care and responsibility! Such over reactions to it all here. The waitress was rude did she really think you had abandoned your child? Very strange restaurant. I suppose if you and child often go out together this would not have been first time. To take all valuables and child to loo is very disruptive. Surely in a restaurant you have left your child in a safe place for a few minutes. It must be very frightening for children to feel they are in such constant danger.

I wish people would stop using the phrase “be kind”, just because others have differing views.

I still think you’re massively over protective, that’s my opinion.

Respectfully, you don’t seem to understand much about anxiety.

It is probably more likely for anxiety to be caused by lived experience of negative or traumatic events that people have had rather than their fear of such experiences.

please stop mocking mental health conditions. You are part of a lucky majority who have not been the victim
of paedos etc but those who sadly have been have a right to speak of their experience and warn others not to expose their children to unecessary danger.

If the McCanns had come on here and said they were on holiday in a safe place and going out to dinner just a few yards from the kids with an adult checking them every 20 mins you would have all said it was fine and would have mocked those of us who would have warned them not to take the chance.

I would do that - and have - with a younger child. The waitress was being ridiculous.

This thread has been eye opening. Some people must live their lives in abject fear.

Exactly!

With respect* it is neither here nor there to me what some random stranger on MN thinks of me. That you can make such a statement about someone you have never met and that you can’t imagine someone who doesn’t take unnecessary risks living a carefree life says a lot.

*be kind is a request to be heard without being mocked.

Stating my opinion and pointing out stuff, is not mocking.

With respect if you post on a forum you’re going to have your opinions challenged, you can’t imagine that others have a different opinion of risk, you think everyone should agree with you?

Why didn't you take him? Most 5 year olds could do with a wee anyway

Id also put a complaint in about the waitress. Really ott response. I might do it depending on the 5 yr old but regardless its not like you went shopping for 2 hrs. How does she know you didnt have an emerg where u needed to run for the loo. Abs ridiculous response.

As parents we have to judge risk daily. Its our job to allow some risk and also imagine if you had to race to the loo for any number of reasons. Parent judged risk. Wasnt a massive one. Waitress was a bit ott and quite rude tbh. Thata about it.

Put in a complaint? I left my 5 year old alone in your restaurant and the waitress was concerned enough to keep an eye on him?
They'll probably give her a bonus. And request op takes her business elsewhere in future

I really enjoyed reading this thread!

(a) I'd normally take my kid to the loo with me, but I've honestly never thought about it. She's never said she doesn't want to come. Whether or not I'd leave her alone would really depend on what sort of day she was having and what sort of venue we were in. It's not so much about predatory adults as her bothering other diners or slithering under their tables.
(b) I don't know OP's kid and trust her judgment that he was going to be fine for a few minutes on his own (as indeed he was).
(c) I'd have told a member of staff as well as/instead of another diner if I planned to leave her alone for a minute.
(d) I don't blame the waitress for clocking a child alone, but god knows where she got the idea that the mum just wouldn't come back - that's ridiculous and I think I would complain about that especially if it was said in front of my child.

Jamie Bulgaria wasn't left alone you know

No way would I ever do this, leave my small child in public out of my sight. Take him with you. Very dangerous imo.

If someone asked me to keep and eye on their kid in a restaurant I'd be very uncomfortable.
I have no experience of children and wouldn't know what I was keeping an eye out for.

No you shouldn't have left him alone. Not in this day and age.

What’s worse in this day and age?

you think they’re is a greater risk now than 20,30,30 years ago?

I looked after a pair of twins in a side by side buggy a few years ago. Their mum had an older child who she was taking into the ladies but the buggy wouldn't fit through the door.
I suppose she could have left them outside alone. Or sent a three year old in alone. Or let the three year old wet herself.

I was being kind.

Depends entirely on you and your child. I, like you, would have left my 5 year old DD as she was sensible and not prone to running off, causing havoc etc and I’m not an anxious parent.

My MIL however would have been agast at this as she would always think the worst and she’s far too anxious.

You were fine to do what you did and the waitress was causing drama where done was needed

Responses here are bonkers, it’s fine!

That's presumably why the OP asked another parent. Since most parents (at least those of school age children) have some experience of looking after kids other than their own.

The waitress overreacted, but at that age you should take the child with you.