Left 5yo alone in a restaurant for 2 minutes

[Havanawinter]

I was in a chain restaurant with DS today who is 5, 6 in November. After the waitress had taken our order I went to the loo, leaving DS happily colouring at the table. Before I left I told the woman at the table next to us (who had young children) that I was nipping to the loo and could she please keep half an eye on DS.

When I arrived back at the table literally 2 minutes later I was basically chastised by the waitress for leaving. “I didn’t know if you were coming back for him! I was so worried!” Which seems a bit far fetched considering I’d also left my phone, purse, keys and bag of shopping on the table. She huffed at me again and left, but I could see her taking to her colleagues across the room about it. That was the end of the whole thing but it left me feeling a bit weird, it never even occurred to me that I was doing something wrong but now I’m wondering if my behaviour was unreasonable? Honest opinions welcome!

Left your child mmmmmm not what I would do with mine all 3 have to come with me

reasonable? what would you do if he didn't come back? Alerted the waitress and waited with them until the police came

If she choked? Shouted for help, tried to help

if a woman turned up and claimed to be the mother? Laid a hand on the child and caused sufficient noise for the waitress to come over and mom finish her wee

for if a different man turned up and said he was the father? See above plus asking the DS.

If the child screamed out "stranger! stranger!" when you tried to speak to them? Stopped speaking to them but continued to observe until Mom got back

If the original man claimed you were trying to abduct his child? Point out I'm clearly sat here with my kid not leaving

If the child had stolen property with them and was being followed by police tell them where the Mom was

If the child had chicken pox or invisible infectious disease? Thankfully she didn't ask me to licl them eh?

If the management said the child had to leave the premises? Tell the child to stay / still them messing until Mom got back

If there was a fire alarm? Tell the waitress and get the child up ready, knowing mom is going to come running

if the child picked up a knife? Be happy they're eating their lunch

If the child wet themselves or soiled themselves? Comfort them until their Mom came back

LIf the child was stealing from other customers? Alert the waitress

If the child dropped and broke a plate? Alert the waitress

If the child fell and broke an arm? If the child was sick? Comfort them whilst the waitress gets Mom

If the child started crying? Try to comfort them and reassure them Mom is coming back

If the child came into contact with an allergen? Alert the waitress

If the child had an asthma attack? Alert the waitress

I could go on and on and on and yet you've missed the important one. The only one that would be really hard os the kid immediately pegging it out the shop. Virtually anything else is easily sorted. In the latter situ, I'd yell at the waitress to watch my kids and I'd go and grab the kid. Which is possibly a ploy of course for the Mom to come out the loo and kidnap my kids because that's really very likely to be the whole ploy eh?

Bloody brilliant! I applaud you 👏!

As in I applaud your excellent response!

God, calm down! 'Brilliant' is somewhat over egging the pudding.

Do you honestly think child pickpockets only exist in \victorian London?

A few years ago (I assure you not in Victorian era) I was out with a friend. We were surrounded by some very young children who all started playing with my friend's toddler. They were with a woman who I assumed was their mum. She seemed lovely. All smiles etc. It was so cute to see the interest they were taking in the toddler. When they moved away my friend discovered that her small bag was missing - she'd put it down for a moment. It had the cash she'd brought to spend that day (we were shopping) and her credit cards. It is a common tactic to use distraction in order to steal from people.

Or the mum could just simply take the child to the toilet with her and you could enjoy your coffee in peace.

Is disturbing the peace now keeping an eye on a child for two mins?

If you’re coming back OP, you’ve made the press. The Daily Record have picked up the story.

I think we need new poll options... " are you being Northern and assume the best" and "are you being Southern and assume everyone is out for what they can get" 🤣

you are too trusting.

Or you're too paranoid.

Saved me typing this myself.

Everyone should have to be waiting staff at some point so they knew how hard it is & how badly ppl treat & view you... Case in point in these replies...

we are never going to agree - that is not the end of the world. No need to judge each other - we just have different approaches and imo when all is said and done that is ok.

Well I was a waitress for years and think the waitress in question was a bell end. I have every sympathy for people working in the service industry but not to an extent of assuming they are always in the right. If the waitress had the kind of turmoil you describe yourself as having from such an ordinary everyday non-event, the service industry may not be the right one for her.

I have teenagers now, but at that age I might have left my 5 year old DS unattended after explaining to him where I was going (but probably not). Depends on the cafe. My DD, a different story. She would have been uncomfortable being left and would have probably run after me to find me. It's a judgement call I think and depends on the location and the child.
The waitress is BU for making such a big deal, and did she not ask your DS or the neighbouring tables if they knew where you was?
People will judge based on the cafe they imagine and their own child at that age, but really, none of us were there.

Haha I'm northern. I'd assume that in my local area in cafes / restaurants I use, my DC would be fine sitting colouring for a few mins whilst I nip the loo, once of school age. Maybe you are right - people more paranoid in some areas

I left my kids once to go order in a restaurant and came back to find a creepy old (clear paedo) Sat squashed up next to them with his arm around them. Don’t do it. It’s terrifying and DOES happen in an instant.

I’m southern and am astounded the paranoia on here!

What’s wrong with people these days? Mum leaves nearly 6 year old alone for few minutes and asks another mum to keep an eye on her child. In what world is that not ok?? Mums here replying it would be an inconvenience to keep an eye (really?!), others seriously thinking the child would be murdered/abducted/killed in a fire/or all of the above … Have you all gone mad? It takes a village to raise a child. In this story the restaurant was the village, with a mum helping another mum out. The waitress could and should have kept her opinion to herself and instead have kept an eye out too!

I’ve left my 5 yr old at a table whilst I’ve popped to loo/ordered food etc, he sits watching iPad or playing with a toy and I trust him to stay in his seat, i don’t see an issues with it. I don’t ask other people to watch him tho

Mums here replying it would be an inconvenience to keep an eye (really?!)

Just a few thoughts on that -
The other mum might have been at the point of leaving. Should she have felt obliged to stay (for how long?) to mind the OP's child?
The other mum might have had any amount of stress in her life at that given moment.
The other mum has no idea whether the OP's child is trustable, would wander off, would try to eat a crayon, would have a fit the minute his mother disappeared from view, would try to run out of the cafe. Was she expected to devote her entire attention to the OP's child in case of this sort of emergency, and what about her own children?

What is it about having a pair of tits and a uterus and a bunch of small children of your own that makes you the default 'village'?

I would have said "sorry, I can't possibly do that" if faced with an outrageous request for a considerable favour from a complete stranger. I am not a doormat.

Should she have felt obliged to stay (for how long?) to mind the OP's child?

Well, ignoring the rest of your considerable hyperbole, presumably for the length of time it takes to have a quick wee. I somehow doubt the OP took this opportunity for a leisurely shit.

How on earth can you estimate how long someone is going to spend in the toilet??

Just by sort of existing in society? Having regular human contact with people who use the toilet?