has anyone managed to pay for private school on a lowish salary? I am so worried about ds going to state school

[unhw]

Me and ex are divorced. DS is 3.5. Ex pays me 700 a month, he never sees DS so obviously that amount would change if he did start to see him.

I have been to some schools near here to look at them because if ds does go to a private school then I would want him to go to the nursery part too, from the word go. At the moment he goes to a nursery near the house which is average at best, despite an outstanding ofstead rating.

The schools are awful. There are so many kids. Barely any smartly dressed. Seems to be no order and organisation. Pick up is 3:20 (?!) so god knows what would happen to my job.

I really really want him to go to private school and the one I’ve seen is around 18k a year for primary. Has anyone done this on a low salary and if so how? Did you move house or downsize etc. I don’t want to do anything extreme but my priority is this and I would do what it takes it there’s a way.

Luckily my parents are wealthy so ds would be ok that front - nice holidays homes, all the toys, extra curricular stuff, the right trainers and all that nonsense!! But they understandably won’t pay the fees and that’s down to me.

Why won't they pay if they are wealthy, could they sell up a holiday home if they have plural or rent it out?

Really not sure why people are so offended by me simply asking how I could do something to give my ds the best start in life. Some of the posts are crazy.

@lovewoola they can’t afford it for all grandchildren so won’t do it for one

“I hate seeing scruffy uniform. If you can't get the basic right how do I trust them to do anything else”

It depends what you count as the basics though doesn’t it. I’m quite happy for my infant aged child to come out of school looking like a scruff because I know she’s been out doing pe, forest school and learning through play, using the sandpit and having free reign with pens and paint. I’d be much more concerned if she came out looking pristine as I’d be wondering what she’d actually done all day.

@nameitagain he’s not at school yet!

My friends kid stays in school until about 6pm some days too. Maybe even later. They get fed there too. It’s a private school not sure if it’s boarding too but they are day pupils.

But you should be saving like crazy now not cutting your hours

There are certainly secondaries in London that give discount to people earning more than you.

I think it's unlikely you'll get the experience you want out of private school, for multiple reasons. Hope it works out for you!

@pinkdelight no, I think private school offers a more rounded education and gives children a better chance in life. So I’d like to do that for my son if I possibly can.

@unhw you’re getting a hard time because you’ve said every state school near you is crap and you’ve judged them on the children looking scruffy. You’d have had quite a different set of responses if you’d started the thread as a ‘can I afford it on £65k- would love to but not sure I can’

You’ve then had all the sniping about ‘low’ salary. Objectively your salary of course isn’t low but it is low for paying out private school fees.

@nameitagain i don’t know if that day would make or break it, but yes I see your point

Have a word with yourself!! You do realise that op won't be able to earn her salary if she doesn't work full time.
Would you be happier if she sat at home on universal credit.
Childcare is expensive but absolutely necessary if a single parent wants to survive and thrive.

A private school is not a guaranteed "best start" in life. Particularly if your child has the misfortune to have any additional needs.

It would be helpful, and I think it would reduce the posts you don't like, @unhw , if you could explain how you know all your local state schools are poor and failing the children who have to attend them.

Your snobbishness suggests your DS would benefit from mixing with the scruffy plebs!

😂🤦🏽‍♀️ you currently earn ok at 76k. I’ve never seen anything as mad as that comment 🙈

But if he is 3.5 and you’ve managed so far, why would you drop a work day now when you need the money for private school in a matter of months?

Making statements like “I’ve just not seen a decent state school” makes you sound a bit ignorant, OP, sorry. I just can’t believe there aren’t any good options. It sounds to me from your description of the places you’ve seen that you’re focusing on all the unimportant things- uniform, noise, apparent chaos (aka kids at play time probably, or perhaps in early years where play is a crucial part of learning)- and failing to see that these are the places where the vast majority of children in this country are educated. And by and large they do a bloody good job. DP and I are both on higher salaries than you and have never even considered going private. Our local state is fab. Our kids are thriving. I honestly think you’ll look back at this post in a few years and cringe.

You currently earn more than 80% of households. Your lower salary is higher than 70% of households.

Is that PAYE data, lots of workers particularly high earners aren't on paye so it's not a true reflection. Also doesn't allow for the huge impact of when you got on the housing ladder.

@Butterflyfluff because I wanted the time with him before he starts school. I don’t think saving a day of salary a week will make or break it

*mopping up the drink I spat out at £76k being considered a “lowish salary” 🙃
ok, I get that in certain areas it’s not a lot in terms of buying property and as a single income household (+£700) it’s harder than a dual income household but really…..low income it really ain’t!!

Look at Christs Hospital for low-cost private schooling.

Quite. Many schools (including my dd's secondary) stuck with attending school in PE uniform on certain days to cut down the amount of time faffing getting changed- adopted after lockdown and it worked out so well that they stuck with it. My ds in primary is allowed to wear black trainers instead of shoes as more practical. I like that (state) schools are using a more common sense/practical approach to what students wear to school.

Surely only you know if you can afford it though OP or are willing to make the sacrifices needed so you are able to. So can you?

You got this far and didn’t know what time school pick up is?! You sound like a snob, OP, but one that can’t afford to be one! Pre schoolers don’t stay smartly dressed even if they started the day that way. YABU.