has anyone managed to pay for private school on a lowish salary? I am so worried about ds going to state school

[unhw]

Me and ex are divorced. DS is 3.5. Ex pays me 700 a month, he never sees DS so obviously that amount would change if he did start to see him.

I have been to some schools near here to look at them because if ds does go to a private school then I would want him to go to the nursery part too, from the word go. At the moment he goes to a nursery near the house which is average at best, despite an outstanding ofstead rating.

The schools are awful. There are so many kids. Barely any smartly dressed. Seems to be no order and organisation. Pick up is 3:20 (?!) so god knows what would happen to my job.

I really really want him to go to private school and the one I’ve seen is around 18k a year for primary. Has anyone done this on a low salary and if so how? Did you move house or downsize etc. I don’t want to do anything extreme but my priority is this and I would do what it takes it there’s a way.

This is the problem in Britain, really isn't it. We like to pretend we are a meritocracy, but in truth, richer people purchase educational advantage for their children. Private education, tutoring, catchment areas etc.

3:20 / 3:15 is standard pick up time. I imagine this would be the same for a private school. A lot of schools run after school clubs or have a club that collects from them and is run somewhere else, but often they won’t start at age 4. Your best bet might be a childminder.

in terms of the salary - most private schools offer a bursary if you are on a low income. So the lower the income the less fees you pay. Their website should tell you what this is.
I was looking at a private school for DS for high school, anything under £30k was a 100% bursary (ie free) that being said to gain entry he would have to pass the entrance exam and have 2/3 interviews before being offered a place. I’m not sure what the intake procedure is for young children. but would be worth checking with the school. The thing that put me off going private was the additional costs. I spoke to people who already have their children in private school and even if you get a lot of help with fees you aren’t helped with anything else. So expensive uniforms, expensive extra curriculars and trips, things that you might not be able to keep up with and your child might end up looking or feeling out of place.
Best thing to do is contact your local private school by email and ask all the questions.

OP I've only read your posts but can tell from those that you've had some crazy replies.

I'm just here to say, if you can find a way to do it, then definitely do it. I would do it in a heartbeat if I could. No point in pretending that state schools are just as good. Hope you find a way.

Your evidence is 15 years out of date. State primaries are under funded, under staffed, over crowded and suffering due to a lack of SEN support. It’s chaos. I am a primary state school teacher (ofsted good) and there’s absolutely no chance my DD will be going to state. Times have changed @PermanentTemporary, and I fully understand OP’s concerns. As it happens, many of my colleagues send their kids to private too.

I get all that but how can you do all of those things if you’re also working? I know home education is often about getting out and exploring and such, but you can’t do those things if you’re working from home at the same time?

I know people who have done it. Go in and have an honest conversation with them. What have you got to lose?
They may have schemes and scholarships available. The ones near me do.

Have you thought about a Montessori school Op? It won’t solve your issue of finishing times, however they are usually that little bit cheaper than your average prep-unless you live in Windsor because that’s the only free Montessori school.

Sorry, can’t read whole thread as I’m way behind today already , hope this hasn’t already been posted.
https://educational-grants.org/find-charity/?page=4
There might be more, just Google. Be very certain of financial obligations you’re taking on though.

I do think most children do fine whether they go state or private. My eldest two dd went private for secondary and it was a struggle. They both ended up at Cambridge and have good jobs. The main difference appeared to be the University they went to eg dd2's friend went to Edge Hill but has a good job in the sector she wanted.

Get a grip.

Private education is immoral. If everyone used state schools then governments would be motivated to make sure they were all good. Private education - and private healthcare - allows them to run services that the majority rely on into the ground.

all kids matter - even those who aren’t so smarty dressed!

So practically speaking, you will spend 30k before tax on school and will vae 35k left this is around 1.8 net a month and then you have 700 from ex so total of 2.5k.

Out of these 2.5k it depends how much you pay for your house. If you have around 1.5k left you can live fine-ish, if your house and bills are more than 1k, it will be a stretch even if your parents help you out.

It's definitely doable with this salary in my opinion and if this is what you think is the right thing for your child - do it!

I know one single mum whose child goes to private school on a 100% bursary, so it’s possible.

Okay, the OP has made several fatal flaws alienating (more than half) of mums net.

That aside, she's asking about the finances of state school and just how much you sacrifice for your child when it's something you strongly believe in.

For my mind, the earnings are not enough. School fees increase every year/at every key stage milestone. The stress this would put on this family is huge, and I would be concerned the dynamic between parent and child could suffer because the sacrifice is especially high. I'd be thinking - find a small state school (eg if you move rural) which echoes the smaller feeling that private schools have, and buy in some wraparound care from a nanny and get them to do all the fancy activities you think you'd be missing out on - the horse riding, swimming, archery, ballet, whatever.

If everything's going well and you've put aside a decent chunk you can move at secondary.

My 4dc all went to private secondary school, ds was a day boy at a boarding school. We are on universal credit. I don't think they were/are looked down on by anyone ( dd3 is just entering y11). On the contrary all positively contributed to the school and were active participants in school life. Eldest two are Cambridge graduates, ds was put in the pool but missed out ( probably due to covid) as he is amazingly bright and they are now recommending dd3 considers Oxbridge as she is expected to get all 9s next year.

I too am a single parent and earn at a similar level,
the only way I could keep working at pay for wrap around care was to move to an interest only mortgage for a while.
now my son is nearing teenage I have moved back to a repayment- but I am only just keeping up with costs associated with a state school- so private would be impossible. Affordability will depend on your other outgoings. The only people I know on similar salaries that pay for schooling do so with inter generational wealth.

absolute snob tbh

Further to my previous comment my eldest two dd have both married former public school boys from very wealthy backgrounds. I really think society has changed and children do not judge like that.

Look at bursaries. You can talk to the school before you apply. While the days are slightly longer so are the holidays! Mine have 9 weeks in the summer!

I think people are responding to an apparent lack of awareness on your part as to what privilege you have (and a lack of interest in understanding this)

id say (as a parent with kids now in private school). don't waste your money unless it's an amazing school. If you have to, tutor and do clubs and put money there. Many schools have means tested bursaries - my friends daughter is on one for 90 per cent - so aim for that maybe at secondary level if you're set on it

Speaking as someone whose children went to private school and we are not wealthy just made the sacrifices we had to, it was worth every penny. But as someone else said actually go and speak to the school/to the bursar - we had an arrangement with the bursar where we paid a set amount each month whilst the kids were at school and then we had to pay off the excess when they left - which we did by remortgaging. If you could afford a certain amount per month which they agreed to you paying, you then have a certain amount of years to be able to save to be able to pay off the difference or find other ways of doing this - just go and speak to them.

What about grammar school? They give free places to some kids

I agree with Advicerequest - if you want to put your money into your DS's education, engaging tutors, if necessary, is more cost-effective than paying for a private education.

Exactly this!

How children are dressed when they go to nursery isn't down to the education provider - it's down to their parents...and most parents don't send their children to nursery in their Sunday best because, surprise surprise, KIDS GET DIRTY AND MESSY!!
I often come home to see my 20 month DD covered in pen after she's spent the day with my mum, but I would still give my mum an Outstanding Offstead report because DD has had a fun day playing and colouring (even if it is on her own clothes instead of the paper!)

OP, I'm with some other posters on here, you're a snob and I feel bad for your child if they don't meet up to your private education standards.

All grammar schools are free in Kent.