has anyone managed to pay for private school on a lowish salary? I am so worried about ds going to state school

[unhw]

Me and ex are divorced. DS is 3.5. Ex pays me 700 a month, he never sees DS so obviously that amount would change if he did start to see him.

I have been to some schools near here to look at them because if ds does go to a private school then I would want him to go to the nursery part too, from the word go. At the moment he goes to a nursery near the house which is average at best, despite an outstanding ofstead rating.

The schools are awful. There are so many kids. Barely any smartly dressed. Seems to be no order and organisation. Pick up is 3:20 (?!) so god knows what would happen to my job.

I really really want him to go to private school and the one I’ve seen is around 18k a year for primary. Has anyone done this on a low salary and if so how? Did you move house or downsize etc. I don’t want to do anything extreme but my priority is this and I would do what it takes it there’s a way.

Dropping a day a week - 11K difference as you’ve stated - surely that would make or break the private school situation? Definitely more on the “this could work” rather than it wouldn’t with that difference.

FWIW - your child will take from education what he wants to. Whether state or private school. I think you’re mental to be spending that sort of money on schooling until much further on in education (if it’s required). Find a local school you like, a local childminder to do before and after school care and save… if he then wants to attend private you’ll have money there to send him :)

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Love love love this!

Prep schools sometimes don't prepare them for the 11+ if there is a senior school attached, as it's assumed they will go to that one or another private. I don't think it's a good idea to choose private solely with an aim of academic success / outcomes anyway. Just because they didn't pass 11+ doesn't mean they won't have benefited from the experience of a private prep school.

People hype up grammar schools, but in my experience they can also be a mixed bag. Some excellent but some just average. I don't think they can really compete with private school's low pupil teacher ratios and facilities/activities

Sorry to jump in but I probably do a similar job to @Krystall

We don’t have any income thresholds as such (SW London Prep) but look at household income and outgoings, equity in property, spending on recreation and holidays, and expect both parents to work (except in exceptional circumstances).

Additionally we do not offer any bursaries before Y3 and Y3 entry requires an entrance test. A successful bursary applicant would also need meet academic entry requirements in addition to financial ones and be in the top quartile of applicants. This is to allow for the best opportunity to obtain a bursary at senior which are extremely competitive.

2nd properties would exclude an applicant automatically.

We would expect savings above £5k would be exhausted and we would not take into account parents offering to assist at the school.

We have sufficient reserves to offer several a year and can and do offer up to 100% bursaries as well as funding trips and some extracurricular activities for the pupils.

We do not negotiate as someone suggested earlier on.

My 5 year niece has just finished reception year at a lovely private school. She’s happy and thriving but oh my goodness, she is such a little scruff. My sister sends her in looking immaculate and she returns scruffy and covered in mess and food. That’s how it should be! Small children are meant to have fun and explore messy activities.

Honestly, I am not anti private school( I attended myself) but it’s not the be all and end all. Quite frankly, if it was your actual priority, you wouldn’t be dropping a day at work. That makes no sense - why wouldn’t you save up the money?! It sounds like it’s all about the optics for you.

No idea why people are banging on and on about bursaries. The ones available for young primary school aged children are very rare. You’re hardly low income and others would be considered a hundred times over before you.

I believe you could probably make it work on your salary but purposefully reducing your salary when you say you want to fund private education is the height of stupidity.

Agreed! Far more rounded education at state school.

You see this on these threads a lot... "ask the school, see what they offer..."
I feel like that is equivalent to wanting a new dress which you don't have enough money for... and then waltzing into the shop and saying you haven't got enough money but you're 'really keen' and expecting to be given it for free or at a massive discount!
Apart from large secondary schools with a formal fee assistance scheme (and formal assessment process) surely this isn't a thing?!

😂😂😂

My child is in private prep school. At the information day for the school we ending up choosing, the headmistress said to all the parents - if this will be a stretch for you financially, don’t do it. Save for high school. It’s not necessary. I hope that gives you some kind of comfort.

If this will be a stretch, save for high school. It’s not just the school fees, it’s after school clubs, instruments, excursions, fundraising, dress up days. In year 6 there is a week long ski trip. Its a big financial commitment

This didn’t happen.

YOU really want your son to go to private school to get a “more rounded education.” HE would probably prefer to have time with his father and this would give him a more rounded life experience. I’m divorced. My priority gor my children before all else has and will always be ensuring they spend time with their (deadbeat) father who incidentally contributes nothing financially.

You are hilarious. They're not smartly dressed and pick up is 3.20pm? Oh dear. Our friend's children go to private school in Tunbridge Wells and don't have half the after school clubs that our state school does. When do you expect after school pick up to be? Also, how are you defining your nursery as average when Offered has rated them outstanding?

Did you go to private school? What are you expecting them to provide that you are not getting from an outstanding state school? Champagne tastes on a beer budget comes to mind.

I've actually just seen you're on £65-76k...low salary? Your head is in the clouds and you sound incredibly entitled (but can't afford.to be). Get over yourself and put him in state school if you can't afford private. If you're in a good area it will make no difference. You're happy to drop down to 4 days a week but not work 5 and leave slightly early each day to pick him up, what's the difference? Also, if your ex is paying £700/month, can that not be for after school care when you're on a HIGH salary?

If you feel like state school classes are too big, you could always put money a side for private tuition when your child is older. In private school your child could feel like a small fish in a big pond if you can’t match the other parent’s lifestyles and generosity towards their children.

The bursary application process is extremely thorough and may even involve a home visit. It requires full disclosure of financial situation, not just employment earnings and as I have said, it will be of both parents, whether they are together or divorced / separated / never married. If we do not get the information required from one of the parents, the bursary application would be declined.

If there is one child, a combined income greater than £65k would rule them out. Again, whether the parents are together or not. We wouldn’t expect people to remortgage, but it they have a second home or other significant assets that could be sold, then that would be considered. I don’t know what you mean by “kill at bank accounts”, I maybe am getting old but that is a new expression to me.

The parent should apply for the bursary at the same time they apply for the place. If there is competition for bursaries, performance in entrance exams will come into it. This is why we don’t award bursaries to anybody under 7.

@Krystall what if that property was their incomes source though

I spent a long time debating this when it came to my DD’s school selection.

For me, the big issues that made me go for state school were;

• if I have a change in financial circumstances, not only would i have to worry about mortgage, etc, but I’d probably need to remove her from private school pretty sharpish, leaving her to join whichever state school had capacity, and with her having to get to know children who had spent years together. It also traps me in my job and prevents me making any sort of big change;
• whilst I would have loved longer school holidays, I would have spend so much extra money on school fees, I would have had to work them, so wouldn’t have been able to spend them with her;
• the breakfast club started at 8am. Local state school starts at 7.30;
• extras (stationary, lunches, music, clubs, exams) all required funds, so the actual annual cost would likely be several thousand more than predicted, and the fees increased, not only with inflation, but also increases with the age of the child.
• when I had a tour of the private school we were considering, I didn’t actually like it that much.

Dig around to find out academic results of the primary schools and try not to let first impressions commit you to paying £126,000 (plus extras and inflation) unless you really need to.

Are any of the schools you looked at church schools you don't necessarily have to be particularly religious but it helps if your child is going to be involved and taught aspects of religion2, I just found they are usually better and people from all religions wanted to send their children to the schools my lads went to more than standard state schools is this an option for you?

To be honest bursary process is not so prescribed as to cover every single situation and I don’t recall anybody with a multi property portfolio applying for a bursary.

@Krystall maybe i should take a punt then we are under 65 but do have 2nd properly

So you are not sure if that 11k reduction in salary will make it or break it? That only leaves you with 7k fees.

i am interested to know what kind of job pays you a fairly good salary where you can drop a day a week and also be lacking in common sense.

It sounds to me as though you could afford it but then it depends on your disposable income. You would possibly need to cut back on your outgoings.

Then you need to ask yourself can you sustain this until he is 18? It can be difficult for a child to be taken from a private to a state school.

Then consider all of the extras. Yes you say your parents will help but only as much as they help with other grandchildren. Uniforms, school trips and lunches can be three times as much.

It can give better outcomes in life but usually because they come from privileged backgrounds rather than a quality of education.

You need to research these state schools more and actually visit them, look at their results, speak to parents of the children that go there. Make an educated decision.

I did for a year but only because I realised that the preschool was cheaper than childminders as I just needed term time and there was no government help then. A lot of schools offer wrap around childcare now. Only you know what your cash flow is so only you can make the decision.

Look into bursaries.
Can you work for the school and obtain lower fees?
Have you looked at all other schools including religious based ones?
Can you move to where the schools are better?
Would your parents be open to giving you a loan should you ever be unable to meet the fees?