My son has just finished his secondary education. He attended a private primary school and a state grammar school, which was considered one of the best in the country. Looking back, I realise I wasted money on prep school because local state primary schools are just as good, if not better. Private school teachers are less closely supervised and some of them, eg Australian teachers, might not meet the qualifications required for state schools. Due to there being mo fees to pay, there is more spare cash available at state schools to parent fund equipment, etc.
Most children receive tutoring for the 11+ exam, which eliminates any advantages of attending a private school when it comes to entering the next level of education. There’s another local prep school that is reputedly better than the one my son attended because it has a track record of sending students to top public schools. Only a small percentage of students take the common entrance exam. For most parents, the goal is to tutor their child to within an inch of their life to secure a spot in one of the grammar schools in Buckinghamshire.
However, this has led to a lowering of academic standards in grammar schools. My son, like many others, struggled academically. Grammars expect kids to teach themselves following instruction. They don’t nurture. The lockdown highlighted the disparities among students. His year group was “fortunate” that teacher assessments were used for GCSEs.
Tomorrow, they will receive their A-level results. I believe the school’s long-standing academic reputation will start declining steadily from this year onward. This decline had already begun before the COVID-19 pandemic. Tutoring means the schools aren’t teaching the most able but in many cases, the most tutored.
Many of us, myself included, wanted to believe our children were above average. In reality, most of us ourselves are quite average. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be having this debate; we’d be out there changing the world!
One thing these boys do have in their peer group is access to more money than common sense. I believe all four boys expelled from the school this year for drug possession came from one of two prep schools considered the best in the area. Not state primary schools, despite the large class sizes and dishevelled uniforms ;-) Unfortunately, another student lost his life due to involvement with County Lines drug dealers. An inquest into his death is scheduled for later this month.
My point is that all 1300 boys at my son’s school would have achieved the same results had they attended state primary and more nurturing secondary modern schools. Some might have even done better. I think my son would certainly have been happier.
These five boys caught up in drug-related issues might not have faced such problems if they hadn’t been in that environment. Two of the expelled boys were only in year nine. 13/14 years old!
Money can’t buy common sense or good parenting. New money can be particularly problematic. Apparently, there are parents at the school who are very permissive with their own drug use and drinking habits. They consider it “cool” to allow their teenagers to consume drugs on their property and drink excessively. These are not households in disadvantaged neighborhoods; they are in gated executive estates. The difference between cocaine and cheap alcohol differs only in cost per unit.
I was shocked when I discovered the reality of my son’s school. What kids he went to prep school with are up to. Locally, his school is heralded” as the “only option” for boys if they want a high-earning future, as if that’s the only thing that matters. A mother once said in a Tatler schools guide, “it’s the best school money can’t buy” goodness help her 🤷♀️ She was out of the school’s catchment area. Perhaps she dodged a bullet.
I can voice my opinions about the school, but people still go to great lengths to get their younger child into the catchment area. The housing prices are exorbitant for what you get. And regardless of the headmaster’s efforts, the boys are often unruly. Bullying is rife. The lockers are apparently a drugs supermarket. The sports changing rooms are a free for all as far as the theft of phones and debit cards.
As for the state of the boys, my son wore the same blazer throughout his time at the school. I bought him a new one, but the boys preferred to appear unkempt. As long as the uniform was correct, they couldn’t be reprimanded. My son looked adorable in his red and gold prep school uniform at age 4, but a state in his worn-out navy grammar school blazer and backless shoes and he was one of the tidier ones. I at least ironed his shirts and trousers!
My advice: save your money and focus on instilling good values that you hope your children will uphold. Peer pressure from wealthier kids in bigger houses, with parents who condone drug use and drinking at age 14, is hard to resist.
A top tip: be the parent who picks up your child from parties. Even if you become a local taxi service. Observe who’s in charge, the state of those leaving, who gets picked up and whose parents are fine with their kids wandering home in the early hours along poorly lit and unsafe roads.
If I had the money still that I spent on prep school and all that goes with it, again, I’d not be debating on MN, I’d be on a beach!