has anyone managed to pay for private school on a lowish salary? I am so worried about ds going to state school

[unhw]

Me and ex are divorced. DS is 3.5. Ex pays me 700 a month, he never sees DS so obviously that amount would change if he did start to see him.

I have been to some schools near here to look at them because if ds does go to a private school then I would want him to go to the nursery part too, from the word go. At the moment he goes to a nursery near the house which is average at best, despite an outstanding ofstead rating.

The schools are awful. There are so many kids. Barely any smartly dressed. Seems to be no order and organisation. Pick up is 3:20 (?!) so god knows what would happen to my job.

I really really want him to go to private school and the one I’ve seen is around 18k a year for primary. Has anyone done this on a low salary and if so how? Did you move house or downsize etc. I don’t want to do anything extreme but my priority is this and I would do what it takes it there’s a way.

Clearevening
If you're going to do it I'd start private school from the very beginning, personally. Not put them in state ed. until end of primary.

It sounds as if you're unable to manage that, though. You should research more state schools and widen your search.

Why? Plenty of people send their dc state for primary and transfer private for secondary. Odd comment to make.

dc?

Not at all odd. The usual benefits of a private education are also important, and useful, in the formative years. Some also find the transition from state to private, or private to state, a difficult transition, particularly at secondary age. There is a difference.

My children have been privately educated from the beginning, nursery through prep, then secondary, as was I (though I also boarded for a while).

Sorry, I've lost who that was to tag.

If you’re on £65k and take away the fees of £18k you’re still left with £47k a year - surely that’s more than enough.

How much is your rent/mortgage?

I have never been to private school so I’m not sure but you need to look into seeing how much extra you’ll have to pay out for things like trips and clubs etc.

You’re on a very high income and at the minute your getting £700 a month maintenance so if you saved that along with the difference between your current and future salary you’ll have enough to pay the first year outright within a couple of months.

no, I think private school offers a more rounded education and gives children a better chance in life. So I’d like to do that for my son if I possibly can

I can honestly say that is total BS.

both of mine went to state primaries and a Couple of friends sent their children to private primaries. There didn’t seem much between them.
Except one of the ones who sent her child to the private primary ended up having to get a tutor as they were so far behind and most of the other parents were paying for a tutor as well. That is why the results the school got when pupils left were quite good

one thing to look out for is checking the results that pupils get when they go to a certain school, state schools or private they are both guilty of doing this.
Are the parents paying for tutors and that is why the marks the schools get are so good.

Ultimately you have to choose the school that will suit your ds. You have to forget about uniforms and how things look but really know what your ds is like and choose a school where he will thrive and that doesn’t necessarily mean a school with fewer pupils. He might need the noise and not being completely supervised every minute of the day to really find his feet

My ds went to a primary in special measures. Everyone I told that he went to this school looked at me as though I was mad. The reputation this school had wasn’t great but it had a new HT a new cohort of teachers hand picked by the new head and mega money thrown at it and although the head was brand new to the school in the September, The whole school had a lovely feel to it. By the time ds left it has gone to outstanding and the catchment area was gradually closing.

@Honeychickpea no they aren't always wealthy. Plus holiday homes generally puts people in the wealthy category

I'm really intrigued which career would offer a £76k salary to someone who didn't know primary schools finish at 3.20, has zero critical thinking skills, and is basically clueless.

If you’re on £65k and take away the fees of £18k you’re still left with £47k a year - surely that’s more than enough.

Dear God - have you not heard of income tax!

Low salary you’d be silly to pay private for primary. Cheaper to move house closer to better schools

This is where your posts jumped the shark. If you haven’t come across any decent state school then you obviously have not looked far enough. Do you honestly think all successful people went private?

The pretty standard comprehensive I attended has produced an Oscar winner, a west end theatre star, a premier league football manger and a newsreader. I went there and from the start of September will earn just below the magical MN six figure salary. Seems pretty decent to me

45k between two of you is definitely low - especially if you're in a city?

Are you both full time? That's only just above the London minimum wage, and below the London living wage if you are..

But it’s not equivalent, a dual income household will be serving more people. It is her and one child. And she earns very very highly.
it is madness to describe earning 76k as low. And when you factor that she is financing only one adult and one child with that very very high income…she’s exceptionally well off.

I’m on 61k and no chance I could pay 18k fees. 65k isn’t take home salary, you’re in higher tax band, probably paying out a good few hundred in pension etc. The £700 a month is good, but it could stop tomorrow

But you’re being scornful… ‘spoon fed’, ‘just had money thrown…’ can’t you see that?

The kids getting good results in private schools are getting top results themselves too, no one is sitting their exams for them.

Your son has done excellently. But so have kids in private schools.

@Womencanlift that's great, and I bet wouldn't have achieved the same in private school. If you take out parental education and income I honestly think private schools have worse outcomes.

Nastiness because posters are triggered by the subject matter, is so deeply unhelpful. But classic Mumsnet, I guess.

Not in London, the uk is very large, I don’t know why you’ve assumed I’m in London 😂
I am in the south east though. No not both full time, I’m self employed and we have young children. We live very well, we do not struggle. That’s why I wouldn’t class is as a low income. If we were on a low income I would expect to be struggling to pay things and feed the kids. And we are not entitled to any benefits, which are there to supplement people on low incomes…I’ve used them before when I was on a low income.
people’s view on low incomes really are quite weird and I genuinely think maybe because people just haven’t experienced what a low income actually looks like. 76k isn’t it.
neither is my pretty comfortable lifestyle. 🤷🏽‍♀️ this entire thread is absolutely bonkers. People trying to defend some bat shit woman thinking she’s on a low income when she’s a very high earned 🤦🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

@saffy2 I don't think it's low but it's certainly not exceptionally well off!!

You meant to tag me. I get your point, but if someone does not have a lot of extra money, then I think it is better to save it for secondary. But I guess it depends on circumstances as well. My dc (children) are in state primary and my dd is about to start at a private secondary. She has already made friends prior to starting and is friends with different dc from the private schools in our area already via extra curricular activities that she does. I think in many cases children can transition nicely to secondary, especially if they do sports and other activities outside of school.

@saffy2 I assume you have low housing costs?

The grandparents would not be able to las 18k per grandchild if they were not wealthy. Get out of your middle class bubble.

I’d dread to think how much I could have paid for DS to go private for his full education and wonder what value it would have been when he got all top grades in GCSE and A level. He went to an outstanding Ofsted primary and secondary but of course not perfect schools or perfect kids. Trust me private schools have their issues just as much as any other bunch of kids together, it’s normal. If you want to spend that kind of money, and make sacrifices, who are we to say otherwise. I just know I’d have wasted a lot of money as the schools my son went to really helped him excel and he’s a lovely polite, motivated young man.

Same as ours - I had so many conversations amongst parents last term about being unable to keep up with the sheer number of activities going on - the days out, visitors to the school (authors/speakers/music workshops etc), sports clubs on offer (for free) most nights. I needed a PA to keep up with it. I know its the same for the other local primaries as we have friends kids in all of them local to us.

Op if you earn £65k before tax then unless your mortgage free then you can not afford it so you shouldn’t be considering it. Are you religious? If so you could send your child to a religious school they tend to have better results and stricter standards. Although I find it hard to believe if you live in a nice area that there isn’t a decent state school. It seems silly to write them off before even visiting.

If private is really important to you, then don’t do it yet.

Put every penny of the CMS aside and plan your savings to cover 5 minimum, preferably 7 and best case 9 years of fees.

5: Y7-11
7: that plus either starting in Y5 is that’s needed to avoid entrance exams (depends on school) or to add Y12-13
9: to go Y5-13

If you do that, you take away the stress of whether you can afford it.

The least important years to cover are primary.

You’re being silly about scruffy kids. That’s partly because a lot of young kids just are. Really careless, plus given to activities like swinging from bars and puddle stomping. Add to that, a lot of primary uniforms aren’t smart, and a lot are cheap so don’t wear well.

My village is full of parents on your sort of salary, and our primary kids look a total rabble! It’s just how it is.

@saffy2 also you are self employed so likely pay less tax

Not particularly, we just moved house a few months ago and increased our mortgage. We live in an expensive area. It just really is that people don’t really know what low incomes look like 🤷🏽‍♀️ we manage just fine and have frivolities and luxuries too.