partner moving in and we can't agree

[twelia]

Please help me resolve and issue with my partner.

Backstory:

I used to live in a tiny box room in a gorgeous flat. I had a live in landlord who was very strict about cleanliness and appearance of the flat. Living in a nice flat just increased my happiness so much, everything felt so clean. One of her rules was no clothes hanging to dry unless it was in your room (there was a dryer provided).

Move to now and boyfriend has no sense of aesthetics. I have bought a flat which I have lived in for a couple of months while doing essential works. it's nowhere near complete but just about livable with a nice kitchen and bedroom, a good enough bathroom, and an unusable living room.

The situation:

Partner due to move in. I just installed an expensive washer dryer so I can dry my clothes in the machine for three reason: I live in a flat and don't want the condensation from the drying to cause mould (or to open my windows which is needed with drying clothes as I live in a freezing corner of the UK). The second reason is that we have absolutely nowhere to store a clothes dryer there is so little storage and what is there is already taken. The third reason is that I want my home to feel like a lovely space, and there is only one space to dry clothes and it would be in my living room. It should make it feel messy and not a place I want to be. It takes me back to my student days.

He says that the the dryer will ruin his polyester clothes.

AIBU?

What is he contributing to this lovely space you are making?

You can't tumble dry everything so I would think now and then you will have clothes drying somewhere. I never have any issues with damp or condensation and I do dry clothes on an airer.

Doesn’t sound as if the living together arrangement will work .

I certainly wouldn’t want to have to tumble dry everything, it’s bad for a lot of fabrics and terrible for the environment. Can you put an airer in the bath / shower when they are not in use? Or get one that hangs out the window?

Leave now. Different values.

He has a point - you can't tumble dry everything. It's so expensive and wasteful as well. I've never owned a tumble dryer and always lived in small flats, it's just part of life to have laundry out.

It's part of living with someone though, isn't it? I live with DH and our 2 children and they're currently away on holiday whilst I'm at home. The house is beautifully clean and tidy in their absence. It's wonderful! Of course I could move out and live in a pristine flat on my own but I'd rather live with them and their mess.
And of course you can have rules about tidying up after yourselves etc. but living with someone is never like living alone. No mater how great they are they are always going to do things that annoy you!

You are being unreasonable you can’t tumble dry everything.

Oh dear you really can't tumble dry everything. I LOVE my dryer but only PJs, underwear, gym stuff, towels and sheets go in it. No fucking way would I put expensive shirts, nice tops and jeans in a dryer, that's madness!

Nobody likes the look of it but it has to be done to keep clothes fresh clean and get dry.

Don't live together then, (unless you need the extra cash he is contributing). See him once or twice a week and do what you want in your own home.

This is the most mumsnet comment i've ever read on here!
LTB because he doesn't want to tumble dry all his clothes!!

Don’t move in with him! Doesn’t sound like the two of you are compatible.

You probably do need to be able to air dry some clothes somewhere as you can’t tumble everything - what about warm jumpers in the winter? You can’t tumble those.

You can't tumble dry polyester. Why would you? It doesn't take long to dry. If it's sportswear with logos they will melt and stick together.
What about hanging it in the bathroom in winter? Honestly it'll be dry in half an hr on a radiator rack.

Are you sure you’re ready to share your space?

Are you prepared to pay extra for the dryer to run?

If you were contributing equally to buying the flat then I'd say YABU as tumble drying everything is expensive, bad for the environment and not great for clothes. But as it's your flat then I guess it should be your rules if this really means a lot to you.

As others have said, he's absolutely right - you can't tumble dry everything.

(Also your utility bills are going to be massive.)

I also hate having to dry washing in the house; it drives me mad. But needs must. Sometimes you have to.

Think twice about him moving in to your lovely flat, you just don't have the same aesthetic viewpoint.

I wouldn't accept to tumble dry my clothes either. I've used a tumble dryer only when I lived in student housing. It's not good for clothes.

If you're worried about condensation, you can get a dehumidifier.

All I see is ‘My, My, My’.

You aren’t ready to share a home with this person.

And washer dryers never work properly anyway.. get a heated airer.

He has a very good point some things can not be tumble dried. You will need somewhere to dry clothes apart from the tumble drier.
It will also be extremely expensive if you plan to use it for everything

Get a rack and hide it behind a door. You’ll need it sometimes! I’m on Team Polyester.

You'd best use a laundry service then.

Can you get a clothes maiden on pulleys on the ceiling? If you have a separate place for the laundry, it's game changing as it takes no floor space and tidies away so easily!

Side note, you will need to open windows for airflow etc even if you're in a cold part of the UK.

I don't think I'd want a clothes horse in my living room creating clutter either! It would annoy me just to look at it.