partner moving in and we can't agree

[twelia]

Please help me resolve and issue with my partner.

Backstory:

I used to live in a tiny box room in a gorgeous flat. I had a live in landlord who was very strict about cleanliness and appearance of the flat. Living in a nice flat just increased my happiness so much, everything felt so clean. One of her rules was no clothes hanging to dry unless it was in your room (there was a dryer provided).

Move to now and boyfriend has no sense of aesthetics. I have bought a flat which I have lived in for a couple of months while doing essential works. it's nowhere near complete but just about livable with a nice kitchen and bedroom, a good enough bathroom, and an unusable living room.

The situation:

Partner due to move in. I just installed an expensive washer dryer so I can dry my clothes in the machine for three reason: I live in a flat and don't want the condensation from the drying to cause mould (or to open my windows which is needed with drying clothes as I live in a freezing corner of the UK). The second reason is that we have absolutely nowhere to store a clothes dryer there is so little storage and what is there is already taken. The third reason is that I want my home to feel like a lovely space, and there is only one space to dry clothes and it would be in my living room. It should make it feel messy and not a place I want to be. It takes me back to my student days.

He says that the the dryer will ruin his polyester clothes.

AIBU?

That’s a lot more hideous than a airer tough

You can’t tumble dry everything. My husband and I lived in a teeny 300 sq ft flat for a bit and we managed to find space to dry clothes. Tumble drying is also terrible for the environment.

There expensive and no doubt expensive to run we have peko drying cabinets and there fantastic you can put everything in them

I tumble dry everything and nothing bad has happened.

I started a thread the other day about hygiene versus the planet and not washing bedding too often as I have to tumble everything because of circumstances which I gave on the thread.

On that thread, no-one seemed bothered about the environment bit at all and even said that household energy wasn't really something to worry about with climate change!

MN can be funny sometimes...!

Washer dryers are shit-we had an Ariston one and used to joke that it went ‘on and on and on’ and the clothes still wouldn’t be dry. Just hot and wet; I would never have one again!

They are also expensive to run. Just get an airer for the things that can’t go in the drier and put it somewhere you can live with. Do you have a garden/washing line?

Im confused by all of the ‘you can’t tumble dry everything/ can’t tumble dry polyester’ on this thread. I’ve always tumbledried my clothes. All of them. It has never been an issue. Tumble dryers have different settings for different types of material. The only thing I have ever melted was a kids dress up costume I washed on 90 after a spectacular vomit.

Also washer dryers are shit. We invested in some fancy 800 pound eco one a few years ago (it was a Grundy model). It had 12 parts replaced within 18 months, sometimes dried clothes, sometimes didn’t and CONSTANTLY got blocked up with dryer fluff, causing the water to be unable to drain from the machine (mainly because there was nowhere for the dryer fluff to go, other than the water draining hose). Don’t do it.

Invest in one of these https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/325569366985?var=0&mkevt=1&mkcid=1&mkrid=710-53481-19255-0&campid=5338749401&toolid=20006&customid=GB_11700_325569366985.142621071573~1872840829897-g_Cj0KCQjwrfymBhCTARIsADXTabmd4g1QFQMjGAJOTM0udbnd878DRiiLqsZu8qMxIKJCVKlPEVCzTF0aAp3aEALw_wcB

and a dehumidifier :-)

Polyester clothing? That would be a deal breaker for me.😳

I dont have a drier but i put my clothes on an airer before i go to bed and in the morning 90% are dry. His stuff would dry fast due to material. Just do that and fold it away when u get up. Cost of elec means i wont have a drier and i too am in a freezing part of uk. I also have 3 children in the house so driwr can get a bit overloaded but my 16yr olds nylon sports tops dry in 30min

It will cost a small fortune in electric to tumble dry all your clothes

We have a dryer than is on a pulley from the ceiling and is above the washing machine

I have an extra-wide clothes airer and it is wonderful. Nobody likes having a clothes airer on show but it does the job and makes life easier because everything dries quickly. Get some dehumidifier boxes and pop a few around your flat, thereby combatting damp. You cannot tumble dry everything - it's noisy, expensive and very wasteful.

Polyester can be tumble dried.

Heat during washing or drying will affect Polyester so you have to be careful. I wash at 60c which is fine; the lowest setting of the dryer should be around 55c. Just dry on short cycles; polyester dries quickly.

A spot of research should help you out. If he insists despite knowing your wishes then he's being unreasonable.

Tumble dryer is very expensive and he's right it will melt the polyester clothes. It will completely ruin any sports clothes that are supposed to be breathable. Synthetic materials spin pretty dry out of the machine, so they will dry quickly on an airer anyway. It's also dreadful for the environment. Put a rack up in the kitchen or bathroom and move it if you need to use the space. Just make sure the window is open a crack for ventilation. I've lived in many flats and just use the dryer for emergencies or for a quick 10 mins to get the almost dry washing ready to go away. I respect that you can do what you want if you live along but it sounds like you want live in a perfect insta home and he wants to live in a cosy, if messy, home. Both are fine, but not compatible.

The bathroom is also a good place to dry clothes too so I think you are being a little unreasonable. An airer over the bath or in the shower. And it doesn't take that long. Just put them away after.

Move in with him if you want. Don't if you don't want.

But you cannot tumble dry everything! That's insane, wasteful and incredibly bad for the environment. I live in a tiny house with very little storage and manage ok.

Have you seen what's happening in Canada?

I don't like the washer dryer in one machines, they aren't great. But we have always had a dryer and I have always dried everything in it, never had a problem, never melted anything or ruined anything polyester. If you use the right settings your fine with using a dryer.

@Trixiefirecracker that's what we have - and when the ancient dryer broke down we found no need to replace it - this was in 2007 - never had a tumble dryer since. We often open a window to help with ventilation.

A problem with washer dryers is that you can't wash and dry at the same time.

Tell him to get rid of the polyester clothes

@twelia you can't put all clothes through the dryer! just leave some out.

Also you'll probably find the drying load is half the washing load so it helps to leave some out

1. Not everything can be tumble dried so you'll still need space to dry washing. I'd recommend an electric fan or run a dehumidifier. A heated airer may also help.
2. Unless they've had a MASSIVE upgrade, washer dryers (in my experience) don't completely dry clothes.

I have x2 airers and my clothes kids and partners are dry the next day