partner moving in and we can't agree

[twelia]

Please help me resolve and issue with my partner.

Backstory:

I used to live in a tiny box room in a gorgeous flat. I had a live in landlord who was very strict about cleanliness and appearance of the flat. Living in a nice flat just increased my happiness so much, everything felt so clean. One of her rules was no clothes hanging to dry unless it was in your room (there was a dryer provided).

Move to now and boyfriend has no sense of aesthetics. I have bought a flat which I have lived in for a couple of months while doing essential works. it's nowhere near complete but just about livable with a nice kitchen and bedroom, a good enough bathroom, and an unusable living room.

The situation:

Partner due to move in. I just installed an expensive washer dryer so I can dry my clothes in the machine for three reason: I live in a flat and don't want the condensation from the drying to cause mould (or to open my windows which is needed with drying clothes as I live in a freezing corner of the UK). The second reason is that we have absolutely nowhere to store a clothes dryer there is so little storage and what is there is already taken. The third reason is that I want my home to feel like a lovely space, and there is only one space to dry clothes and it would be in my living room. It should make it feel messy and not a place I want to be. It takes me back to my student days.

He says that the the dryer will ruin his polyester clothes.

AIBU?

I've never had a tumble dryer. I hang it outside or on a clothes horse in my room. It dries overnight

Polyester? POLYESTER you say?? LTB.

Most of my clothes cannot be tumble dried.
And air dryer is something that I have to have. And having it for one day, in the kitchen, and then it gets put away, is not really that bad, and it doesnt ruin the place!!

Hang on, you're dating a guy that wears polyester?! 😬

You can tumble 90% of things but some simply can’t. O don’t tumble knotwear, sweatshirt material or shirts. Everything else goes in. I have an airer in my utility room but it could go over a bath. I don’t and won’t have clothes hanging around the house

You have a completely different outlook on life, and this relationship is doomed to fail. Leave him now.

I use a table dryer for most things but Foster Sons sports kits I hang on heated airer when I go to bed and first thing DH gets up he folds it up and puts the airer back into the cupboard. No one sees it during the day time and once we are all in bed who cares if it's in the sitting room?

We tumble dry everything, polyester and all, our dryer costs pennies to run and I wouldn't be without it. I'm sure it saves us a fortune in heating radiators to dry on and mould avoidance too. I think most tumble dryers have an 'all in one' setting now. If he's not happy perhaps he can come up with a solution that doesn't mean clothes hanging around everywhere making it damp.

You could get a foldable clothes airer that attaches to the wall. I have one, and love it, can barely be noticed when nothing is on it. Also over the years I've found the washer/dryer combo to be the worst ones possible.

Washer dryers are pretty awful as the drum isn't big enough for the drying part so you need to take about half out. Polyester (presume you mean sports-type tops) come out of the machine virtually dry and will take about an hour on an airer

Your house, your rules.

I've just googled these, they look amazing! Want!

What I used to do in my small flat was to tumble dry for thirty mins to remove a lot of the moisture and not ruin the clothes. Then I had an airer which hung on the back of the living room door, which was always propped open so the washing wasn’t visible. I’d also sometimes hang things above radiators in the windows behind some nice Orla Kielly curtains. It’s possible if you’re inventive. I hate the feel of properly dry clothes from the tumble dryer…makes them feel like old rags to me!

Plus the environmental issues but I don’t think it’s fair for anyone to judge unless they’re also living in a flat. It really is bad enough without it looking awful as well.

😂

Yabu

And you need to be careful that he feels it’s also his home, shared, not just your flat still.

A retractable line is very tidy.

As others have said - you can't tumble dry everything. Is there no outside drying area? Like you, I won't have clothes hanging on a drying rack inside my lovely house ... except, I WILL put a drying rack up in my (admittedly large) kitchen overnight. Everything is dry in the morning! Is there somewhere you could do this?

Surely these are for outside or larger homes that have a utility room. Can't imagine attaching it to your living room wall in a flat

washer dryers are rubbish ... they still can't seem to come up with a decent one.

Have a look at the Lakeland Dry:Soon Drying Pod or Mini Heated Airer. If you can find somewhere to keep it it will solve the problem.

Can't imagine being that precious over polyester.

Of course you can tumble dry polyester clothes.

I'm not really sure what the question is. Not all his clothes will be polyester. You will have clothes that can't go in the dryer. Why is it becoming an issue before he even moves in?
Is he expecting you to get rid of the dryer? Are you expecting him to replace all his polyester clothes? Are you both just looking for excuses not to move in together? Because you don't need an excuse. Just say you've decided you don't want him to move in and continue to date.

I don't know about polyester (think it would be ok unless on a high heat) but stretchy and woollen fabrics can shrink if tumble-dried. When I had a small place I used to dry the washing over the bath. Now I use the kitchen as it's large enough or hang outside. The dryer is more for things needing to be dried urgently imo.

If he only has a few things that can't be tumble - dried, surely you can find a small space elsewhere in the flat? (I agree with keeping the living room as a nice, relaxing place - it's the one room (in a large house) that I tidy daily.