MIL taking my daughter to lake waterpark

[YorkshireLucy]

So, my DH has taken my children (16 and 13) to visit her for a few days.

I had a message from my 16 year old panicking because grandma has booked a day at a lake doing watersports.

My DD has just had her ears pierced (seconds and tragus so 3 altogether). She was told not to go swimming in the first few weeks and to be careful for a couple of months after that. It is less than two weeks since she had them done. She should especially avoid open water.

Now, grandma has told her she WILL go and she WILL enjoy herself because she's paid over £90 for this.

I'm fuming. She never mentioned this and never asked them to pack swimwear. She's told them to put an old T-shirt and pants on under a wetsuit? They only have nice new clothes with them that will get ruined!

For context my MIL has form for this. She's quite controlling and a bit of a bully. Constantly makes my children feel like crap. She's passive aggressive with me which is why I personally refuse to see her now. But hubby insisted on this trip.

I get she's paid for a fun activity but has completely disregarded my daughters feelings and worries about this. What if her ears get caught on a helmet or worse get infected?

As for my husband, I'll be speaking to him before they go. Can't believe he's not stuck up for her or said anything (well I can, but that's another story). He knows she shouldn't be getting her piercings wet through swimming/activities like this.

AIBU to not want to let them go?

Honestly, she's made an effort to book a fun activity for them. It'd irritate me to not give notice to send appropriate stuff for them but the piercing sounds like an excuse. You do not need to avoid water for 2 weeks with a piercing and you openly state you don't like her and refuse to go- so obviously your kids know this. Sounds like you don't like mil and your daughter doesn't fancy it so has called you to back her up knowing you'd gladly make a stand against mil. I've no idea of the history but if I were you I'd think how you'd handle this if it were someone close to you, your parents perhaps? X

My 14 year old would love these piercings, but will also have ho wait due to school rules. I’ve never understood some people’s issues with ear piercing. Most (later teen) girls have several now; they can always take them out if they get fed up with them. I was a teenager when I had mine done - still have them and still fancy more!

@Blondebrunette1 Read previous NHS advice on this thread. You most certainly do need to avoid water with the type of piercings she had!!

@Sueveneers if it does state this then fair enough, i'd show MIL the advice. I voted YANBU but I also think as there are ill feelings between the op and mil, there is more being made of it. If my kids were moaning about an activity their grandparents had paid for because they didn't fancy it, I'd personally encourage them to give it a go and show gratitude and good manners.

@Grammarnut Ignoring my wild curiosity that you not only managed to acquire two MILS, but also were also able to stable them both, it is offensive and ignorant to assume that only age and experience is sufficient to navigate (1) parenting, (2) grand parenting, and, (3) mediation… maturity in years is not a precursor to knowledge.