Page 9 | Fed up of my greedy husband

Yoloohno · 2023-08-13T22:18:50+00:00

Once again I’ve returned home to find hex eaten something that was bought for myself or by another member of the family as a treat and left me the communal food for me to eat. Think greggs filled doughnut V Tesco jam doughnut. As a one off fair enough but it’s time and time again. He will eat what he wants regardless of who has bought it. Gifted chocolates from clients that I’ll save, kids Easter eggs it’s fair game. Yet his treats never make it to the communal cupboard, they either get eaten straight away or get hidden in his car. Once again it’s sorry. It’s Sunday night and I can’t even replace what’s been eaten. Am I being unfair.

Hibiscrubbed · 14/08/2023 10:44

Yoloohno · 14/08/2023 01:02

Every female friend I have has always been a cheater, not been right, can’t socialise for whatever reason he chooses.

I dare to comment the same about his friends and he makes out like I’m a controlling nutcase despite them being so much worse.

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Ok so we’re into abusive and controlling territory now. And that puts a very different slant on what was already extremely shit behaviour with helping himself to others’ things.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 14/08/2023 10:53

Just get a lockable box and put your treats in there. It is so simple. Do you just like complaining?

BedisBliss · 14/08/2023 10:53

@Yoloohno raging on your behalf - still haven't forgiven ex who went into the kids sweetie box to eat the last Freddo Frog my 7 year old had been 'saving'. (We lived abroad at the time and couldn't find an equivalent there of his favourite and so we would stock up a couple of packets every time we were home.) This was in 2007 and I still rage when I think of it! Ex is still the same now. My 18 year old complained last time she visited about how he would ask her what she liked in the supermarket....and then eat it all himself before she got near it. His selfishness extended to other areas....hence EX!

amusedbush · 14/08/2023 10:58

IMustDoMoreExercise · 14/08/2023 10:53

Just get a lockable box and put your treats in there. It is so simple. Do you just like complaining?

Have you read all of the OP's updates? Her husband's issues go way beyond helping himself to her treats.

Just click "see all" on one of the OP's posts - it is so simple.

YabbaDabbaDooooo · 14/08/2023 10:59

IMustDoMoreExercise · 14/08/2023 10:53

Just get a lockable box and put your treats in there. It is so simple. Do you just like complaining?

What else do you think people should lock away in their own homes, rather than expecting the person to take responsibility for themselves?

Purses?
Handbags?
Jewellery?

The only person who needs to find a 'solution' is the one without respect for other people's things.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 14/08/2023 11:03

YabbaDabbaDooooo · 14/08/2023 10:59

What else do you think people should lock away in their own homes, rather than expecting the person to take responsibility for themselves?

Purses?
Handbags?
Jewellery?

The only person who needs to find a 'solution' is the one without respect for other people's things.

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Her husband is obviously addicted to sugar/treats and can't help himself. She can either lock her treats up or divorce him if he can't stop taking them.

If he was addicted to stealing purses etc, then yes she would have to lock them up or divorce him.

Beaverbridge · 14/08/2023 11:04

This reminds me of an old boss I used to have. Every time he'd pass a desk he'd stick his hand into whatever was on someone's desk. Crisps, sweets etc. Big sweaty hairy hand!. Girl at next desk to ne got so fed up with it she put dog biscuits in a sweet bag and sure enough old sweaty hands went for it. Cue the outrage when he had to spit them out and she told him.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 14/08/2023 11:04

amusedbush · 14/08/2023 10:58

Have you read all of the OP's updates? Her husband's issues go way beyond helping himself to her treats.

Just click "see all" on one of the OP's posts - it is so simple.

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I was answering the point in her OP. I did see the other issues, but I don't have the time or knowledge to answer those.

Fallingthroughclouds · 14/08/2023 11:10

I agree. Yep he's greedy and annoying, but to psychologically profile him or suggest divorce is a bit excessive.

ErniesGhostlyGoldTops · 14/08/2023 11:15

Yoloohno · 14/08/2023 00:13

I know tomorrow he’ll bring me a bunch of flowers ax an apology because he’ll feel guilty.

But I can’t eat flowers, doesn’t change my hunger and disappointment.

m He isn’t bad just greedy and can’t understand boundaries.

Although my dc would appreciate the cash box. They’d sometimes prefer the cash to what they’re bought.

Flowers are an easy gift to hand over. Effort is looking for a replacing what he has eaten and he just can't be arsed.

frumpyflora · 14/08/2023 11:16

This reminds me of an old boss I used to have. Every time he'd pass a desk he'd stick his hand into whatever was on someone's desk. Crisps, sweets etc. Big sweaty hairy hand!. Girl at next desk to ne got so fed up with it she put dog biscuits in a sweet bag and sure enough old sweaty hands went for it. Cue the outrage when he had to spit them out and she told him.

😂

katseyes7 · 14/08/2023 11:26

My ex husband was like this. If we had a 'share' bag of sweets he'd stand in the kitchen with two bowls, putting one into each at a time in case (shudder the thought!) l got one more than him.
But when l'd bought a multipack of 10 bags of crisps (1 each for five working days, for packed lunch) then went to work on a late shift, l came home after midnight to find he'd eaten seven of them. So, all of his, and two of mine. Even my salt and vinegar ones which he 'didn't like'.

"I was hungry while my tea was cooking...."
He'd also cook (for example) two chicken Kievs with a load of veg for his tea when l was at work (after the seven bags of crisps, presumably). Then complain later in the week that there was nothing for his tea.
Well no, there wasn't. Because he'd chosen to eat two at one meal earlier in the week.
When we'd agreed to split up, but had to live together until the house was sold, we had separate shelves in the fridge, and separate cupboards. I ended up hiding some of my non perishable stuff in the boot of my car and my desk at work, because l couldn't trust him not to eat it.

ErniesGhostlyGoldTops · 14/08/2023 11:31

It's time OP. Start now and it can all be underway by Christmas.

MikeRafone · 14/08/2023 11:41

tbh if he steal food then Id say its fair game to trap him....

Id leave a cream cake/donut whatever with your name on it and put don't eat it.

Fill it with cream laced with salt and pepper, vinegar

CantThinkOfANameAtAll · 14/08/2023 11:48

To all those saying just buy more treats...my DH eats his share immediately, then mine, then communal, then the kids share. In two days he eats a weeks worth. It's because he paid for it in the shopping so therefore it's technically his. I've hidden mine in different places over the years and he considers it a challenge to find and eat, it's my fault because I didn't eat it straight away. He always promises to replace mine (with a roll of the eyes). I'm still waiting for multiple replacements from when I was pregnant twenty years ago.

I never realised it was symptomatic of something bigger, I just thought he was greedy. Open your eyes OP, what else does he do that upsets you and the children?

Frisbeeee · 14/08/2023 11:50

Lol there seems to be a 'Greedy Husband' thread on here every week. You're in good company OP! 😂

crossstitchingnana · 14/08/2023 11:58

This eating all the treats, or personal gifts from others, it's awful behaviour. Would you help yourself to a bath bomb? A tenner? It's such selfish behaviour, and as food is a basic requirement there's something very sinister about it.

Kpo58 · 14/08/2023 12:20

MrsMarzetti · 14/08/2023 09:58

Don't hide your food. Tell him you have had enough of his disrespectful and greedy attitude and that it has to end today. He is acting like a little Prince and needs to grow up very very quickly.

What do you do if he then eats it anyway?

Those who don't understand about needing to lock food up probably have partners who just eat their fair share of the food and not everybody's else's too.

SuperSange · 14/08/2023 12:29

RTFT people, please. It's not about the food.

BFwoes · 14/08/2023 12:41

IMustDoMoreExercise · 14/08/2023 11:04

I was answering the point in her OP. I did see the other issues, but I don't have the time or knowledge to answer those.

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So, you’re aware there are other issues, but you have the ‘time and knowledge’ to ask her if she just likes complaining?

IMustDoMoreExercise · 14/08/2023 12:48

BFwoes · 14/08/2023 12:41

So, you’re aware there are other issues, but you have the ‘time and knowledge’ to ask her if she just likes complaining?

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Well, there is a simple solution to her first problem which she could easily have taken instead of complaining on here. Sugar addiction needs to be treated just like any other addiction (although a lot of people on here don't believe that sugar is addictive)

Her other problems are not so simple to solve, so she could have started a thread about those.

Abbyant · 14/08/2023 12:54

My partner was and still is to some extent really bad for doing this, when I was pregnant with ds he ate all of the things I was craving and I had a massive kick off about it and threatened to kick him out, the next day he went out and bought a safe for me to put my treats in so he couldn’t access them anymore.

BFwoes · 14/08/2023 12:54

IMustDoMoreExercise · 14/08/2023 12:48

Well, there is a simple solution to her first problem which she could easily have taken instead of complaining on here. Sugar addiction needs to be treated just like any other addiction (although a lot of people on here don't believe that sugar is addictive)

Her other problems are not so simple to solve, so she could have started a thread about those.

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She did start a thread about those. It’s this thread. The only person who seems to have difficulty understanding that is you.

The first problem isn’t separate from the others. It’s a symptom of a larger issue - which isn’t sugar addiction, it’s that her husband is controlling and disrespectful. So, no, a lockable box wouldn’t be the solution. It’s not ‘simple to solve’ and you (by your own admission) don’t know how to solve it. So, logically, you should have just not commented, instead of being snide and unhelpful.

Do you just like being wilfully obtuse?

AutumnCrow · 14/08/2023 12:56

BFwoes · 14/08/2023 12:54

She did start a thread about those. It’s this thread. The only person who seems to have difficulty understanding that is you.

The first problem isn’t separate from the others. It’s a symptom of a larger issue - which isn’t sugar addiction, it’s that her husband is controlling and disrespectful. So, no, a lockable box wouldn’t be the solution. It’s not ‘simple to solve’ and you (by your own admission) don’t know how to solve it. So, logically, you should have just not commented, instead of being snide and unhelpful.

Do you just like being wilfully obtuse?

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Maybe she's lost sight of what a healthy portion of smuggery is supposed to look like.

Pineapples198 · 14/08/2023 12:56

My husband does this all the time and it drives me mad. I will ask him what he wants from the shop, sometimes even ask specifically if he wants crisps or chocolate and he always say no. “I’m not a chocolate person” or “nah I can do without it”. (He’s overweight).

I’ll bring a box of chocs home from work (a gift) and find half of them gone the next morning and the box left open. The children will buy sweets with their pocket money and put half away and when they go back for them they are gone. He will eat through a 12 pack of crisps that my son asked for so when he asks for a packet he has to have something else rather than his favourite crisps.

He always says “but it’s only a few sweets…”
Or “I’ll get some more next time I go” that's not the issue. He’s left the kids with nothing when they are expecting their sweets to be there.

next time I go to the shop I’ll even offer do you want sweets? always says No.

very very annoying!!