Fed up of my greedy husband

[Yoloohno]

Once again I’ve returned home to find hex eaten something that was bought for myself or by another member of the family as a treat and left me the communal food for me to eat. Think greggs filled doughnut V Tesco jam doughnut.

As a one off fair enough but it’s time and time again. He will eat what he wants regardless of who has bought it. Gifted chocolates from clients that I’ll save, kids Easter eggs it’s fair game.

Yet his treats never make it to the communal cupboard, they either get eaten straight away or get hidden in his car.

Once again it’s sorry. It’s Sunday night and I can’t even replace what’s been eaten. Am I being unfair.

The key word in your anecdote is "share". You couldn't wait to share your lovely gift with your husband, who, by your own admission, will ask you before he takes something of yours.

How would you have felt if you said "I was given this wine by a client, let's have a glass on Friday night", then your husband drank the lot while you were asleep? Then he shrugged and minimised it and tried to make you look unreasonable for caring so much about a bottle of wine.

The posters who hide food have been forced into that behaviour because they live with someone who doesn't respect the word "no".

Controlling and alienating your friends? But is otherwise wonderful? Huh?

In our house if we are buying a treat we buy for everyone. If we get gifted stuff we will ask each other ‘can we have a try?’. Basic respect for each other. No my good and your food. Kids’ treats are treated the same; if I want a bit of theirs I ask them. They can also say no and that is ok too!

That's the whole point of this thread. There are treats for everyone but only one person eats it all unless the others hide their share. You are asking, not just taking! Good grief 🙄

🤣🤣🤣

My husband went to tuck into chocolates he bought me for our anniversary they other night and when I told him no he thought I was being ridiculously u reasonable. I just think that’s so rude, why buy something especially for me then just crack it open and scoff it all. He does it all the time so I am with you on this. Also I am literally 9 months pregnant. Who in their right mind takes chocolate from a pregnant woman?? I hate men!!!

Love your username!

Well, you are right, of course, and I would feel disrespected and hurt by that. Thanks for framing it in a different way.

Thank you

And I'm glad my tone conveyed as I intended it; I was worried I'd come off as combative!

My single friend thinks it's hilarious that my DH asks before he eats something in his own house. Like he's downtrodden etc. But it's actually respectful to not gorge on my chocolate that was given to me as a gift. I'd be even more annoyed if he ate my kid's Easter eggs. You shouldn't have to lock it up or hide it but seems like the only thing you can do.

Get a small cash box with combination lock. They don't take up much room. Then your things are safe, even your half eaten chocolate can be put back.

www.diy.com/departments/new-3-digit-combination-lock-safe-box-security-cash-box-home-office/5056316793599_BQ.prd

He won't change, to be this obsessed with sweet treats is an addiction. Save your frustration and nerves and secure your sweets!

I know you shouldn't have to but is it worth the fall out or the hiding things in the car?

@Yoloohno

This is more than a man's disrespect for his partner and children. I was all ready to say buy lockable boxes for each of you for your treats until you said:

So many times he’ll turn round and say I stop him doing things despite he has a great social life and I’m one at work. Usually follows I do something social with a female. Until he decides that friend is not right and I’ll let them down.

He doesn't he care a fig for your boundaries, he just wants what he wants whenever he wants it. And that includes you at home looking after him, house and kids rather than out having any independence of your own.

In your place I'd be focusing more on how he's gaslighting and trying to control you, however justified your annoyance his greed and thoughtlessness is. 🌹

ExH used to eat treats and blame me for buying them as he was getting fat even when I hid it in the kids underwear drawers and the shed. He also blamed me when I bought a bottle of wine, wrote my name and don't touch on it in sharpie, explaining that was a glass for each bad shift for a week or 2, and came home from work to an empty bottle and a tipsy idiot. That said maybe that's part of why he is now exH...

Well if it comes to buying some sort of special doughnut for yourself and some that aren't so nice for everyone else I think it is simple. Buy a box of the special ones and if you can't afford that then buy a box of what you can afford for everyone.

You need to have a private box or shelf that's just for you to make it clear

Is that to put the food or the DH in? Seeing as how the rest of the family don't eat what isn't theirs.

Yes a private box for the DH ... under the patio😂

OP this seems like a much wider issue than the food.
quite controlling, you need to start listening to your gut and being assertive. his behaviour is way out of order

I've read of similar people suggesting x but in a company setting, but always thought omg

@grassverge of course it is!! It’s sabotage!!!

You need a lock box!

Because it's that simple... 🙄

This makes me cringe - he sounds like a greedy selfish inconsiderate pig

Get each person a lockbox, put their name on it and everyone puts their treats in their respective boxes.

DP always asks if it's okay to eat something from the fridge or cupboards. He says he knows I plan the meals and it might be earmarked.
I think it's plain respect. I'd find it hard to live with a greedy, disrespectful guy like your DH. It sounds like a hangover from childhood trauma but he's supposed to be an adult now.

Inject all (likely to be stolen) treats with english mustard. 🙄

He’s an abusive and controlling prick, so personally I think he should have English mustard injected into his urethra.