Fed up of my greedy husband

[Yoloohno]

Once again I’ve returned home to find hex eaten something that was bought for myself or by another member of the family as a treat and left me the communal food for me to eat. Think greggs filled doughnut V Tesco jam doughnut.

As a one off fair enough but it’s time and time again. He will eat what he wants regardless of who has bought it. Gifted chocolates from clients that I’ll save, kids Easter eggs it’s fair game.

Yet his treats never make it to the communal cupboard, they either get eaten straight away or get hidden in his car.

Once again it’s sorry. It’s Sunday night and I can’t even replace what’s been eaten. Am I being unfair.

I know tomorrow he’ll bring me a bunch of flowers ax an apology because he’ll feel guilty.

But I can’t eat flowers, doesn’t change my hunger and disappointment.

m He isn’t bad just greedy and can’t understand boundaries.

Although my dc would appreciate the cash box. They’d sometimes prefer the cash to what they’re bought.

My ex used to do this. I had to hide food at the back of the fridge in an old margarine tub. It was the lack of respect that bothered me the most..
Does he have much respect for you and your feelings in general?

I wondered this.

You really shouldn't have to hide things in your own house.

If a note saying "This is My treat and I am saving it for later and I will be REALLY pissed off if it gets eaten" does not do the trick then nothing will and you have to realise your greedy pig selfish DH doesn't care for you or respect you and then consider what to do about it.

And if he ate the DCs treats I would go ballistic because of sane reasons PP have made about derailing attempts to teach kids to self regulate.

My friend's EX husband used to do this all the time, even ate the wee yoghurts she'd bought for the kids' lunch boxes - a whole pack of them at one sitting when she was out walking the dog for half an hour on a Sunday night.

The last straw for her (obviously there were lots of other issues) was when I brought her back a little box of chocolates from Fortnum and Mason the first time I went to London. It was such a pretty box and she was so pleased - she made a point of saying to him too "Carrie bought these for ME, so can you please leave them?". The greedy bastard ate the lot when she was out at work (he worked shifts, so was home before her that day). He then tried to hide the "evidence" by putting other things on top of the empty box in the bin.

I can't quite articulate it but it feels like more than greed, somehow - does anyone else see what I mean? It seemed like such a deliberate act of throwing his weight around (literally!), like he was saying that he was the big boss man so all of the best things were for him only.

I felt so sad for her. She's much happier now though since they split up.

Refuse the flowers and say what I want is exactly the thing you ate, if you’re sorry then come back wiht that. YOU eat the flowers.

This is a bit weird. Does he have self-control/ impulsivity issues that manifest in any other way? My DH Will eat anything and everything and I have been annoyed at him for just over consuming communal stuff and never replacing it (I have been known to hide things in washing machine if I‘m going out. Safe place 😆). But he wouldn’t help himself to something that was a gift or he knew was a treat for someone else in house.

Have you actually told him straight that you don't want flowers, you want to eat the food that belongs to you? That it's immensely selfish, greedy and unattractive to hoard his own treats but freely steal from others? It's not even about the food for me, it's the absolute nerve of him! Ask him how he would feel. I'd still be fully tempted to fill a cake or sandwich with dog food or chilli flakes and let him suffer the consequences of taking food that isn't his, but talking it out is probably the more sensible (if less satisfying) decision.

Mine also did this. I think it’s greed and a show of disrespect as well. Once, fair enough, repeatedly, nope. He stopped doing it quite as much when I said it made me feel like he didn’t care about me enough to pause for a minute before scoffing whatever he saw. He still does the kids’ stuff in, I just replace it as soon as I see it’s gone. It’s a bit pathetic innit.

It's such a nasty thing to do it's borderline abusive. I mean, even if someone had an uncontrollable urge to eat, there's shops. Or toast.

It’s such an unattractive quality. I would be seriously pissed off if DH ate the kids treats that had been gifted to them like Easter eggs, Christmas chocolates etc - ironically the DC fling them all in a tin and share but I would expect DH to keep his hands off.

What would happen if you bought 2 Gregg's filled doughnuts instead of a Gregg's one and a tesco one?

Would he eat them both?

Wanting a donut isn't hunger.

He's a greedy bastard and nothing surer. That would put me right off and his chances of getting his leg over would be slim to none. It's quite repulsive really.

I can't quite articulate it but it feels like more than greed, somehow - does anyone else see what I mean? It seemed like such a deliberate act of throwing his weight around (literally!), like he was saying that he was the big boss man so all of the best things were for him only.

Oh yes, @CarrieMoonbeams I know exactly what you mean. It seems mean, spiteful, sneaky, dominating and territorial, all at the same time, which is then rolled up into a passive aggressive 'so what?' shrug, or a crap apology. Or even some sort of shaming game play - 'god, does chocolate really mean that much to you? Okaaaay then ...'

And all you wanted was your own bloody piece of birthday cake when you got home from 10 hours at work.

I'm so pleased your friend is happily separated now.

I had a housemate once who did this all the time. Emptied the fridge and cupboards of everything tasty and easy to eat and left me with lentils and no milk after a 12 hour work shift.

He even helped himself to the contents of a Fortnum and Mason Christmas hamper I was gifted.

When I brought it up he told me I was wrong and tight-fisted for thinking it was a problem. That was twenty years ago and it still pisses me off when I think about it.

That’s it, I want to come home after a weekend of work to eat what I bought.

it is disrespectful, the fact he chose what he wanted while I’m working, he will never choose the inferior option.

So many times he’ll turn round and say I stop him doing things despite he has a great social life and I’m one at work. Usually follows I do something social with a female. Until he decides that friend is not right and I’ll let them down.

But his horrible friends are ok. Cheating men who pass stds on are ok, but he hates the fact that we couldn’t afford a stag do with them.

Usually follows I do something social with a female. Until he decides that friend is not right and I’ll let them down.

Wtaf OP? This is whole new territory.

https://www.alzproducts.co.uk/lockabox-classic?gad=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw_uGmBhBREiwAeOfsd3c7Giy_gxq2oOZ0Jd4Var-nomh4iKzkHq9RVtgR2IJHub8ruMLZVRoCGHMQAvD_BwE

Every female friend I have has always been a cheater, not been right, can’t socialise for whatever reason he chooses.

I dare to comment the same about his friends and he makes out like I’m a controlling nutcase despite them being so much worse.

The fact that he knows it's yours and does it anyway is so rude and disrespectful.

So many times he’ll turn round and say I stop him doing things despite he has a great social life and I’m one at work. Usually follows I do something social with a female. Until he decides that friend is not right and I’ll let them down

Oh dear. Let me guess. He has to look after his own kids while you're at work and he's telling you that you're stopping him doing things? He makes you cancel your plans with your friends so he doesn't have to look after his kids?

Why you don't stand up for yourself I don't get. But now you are posting about friends not being good enough. LTB or do something, and thus stop complaining.

I can't believe people are suggesting hiding food or buying a fucking lockbox like OP is living with a raccoon not an adult human being.

Who are these disrespectful pigs everyone is married to that you have to hide your Snickers in a fucking Japanese puzzle box to avoid them being scoffed the minute your back's turned? Surely "husband, that Snickers is my treat for later, please don't eat it" should suffice?

If not then greed is not the problem, disrespect is.

So he’s alienating you as well?

He sounds charming.

Can you hear us? Please listen xxx

This is not about a doughnut.

This is him being abusive.

think about it, you know its true.

Do you want to talk about all the other stuff he does? I bet he doesnt like your family either.