Made MIL cry?!

[Didntmeanto6]

I have always had a clash with my MIL because I find her controlling and she often tries to undermine me. My DP (8 years) sees her every day in the morning and she was telling me that she sometimes makes him a packed lunch 🙄 I said he is a 43 year old man I'm sure he can organise his own lunch, she said "yes but me I love my son" (emphasising with her voice that it must be in contrast to me).
I began to lose my temper a little so I said "do you warm some milk for him too?" and she said "listen it's simple, I am the first woman of his life", and I said "true but I will be the last".
Then she started crying and ran out of the room.
Now DP is saying that was insensitive of me because she lost her husband 6 years ago.
I am considering telling him he needs to deal with this situation and tell his mother to back off.
What do you think? In case it's relevant we are all from the same non UK European country

So don’t see her. You sound controlling yourself.

She does sound overbearing and like she babies her son, but I don’t think referring to her future death was particularly helpful! You clearly snapped, but I do think this one probably warrants an apology. I understand you don’t like her, but you were in the wrong here in my opinion.

It sounds like you were very unkind to your MIL.

Seems a little out of proportion to be honest OP, who cares if she makes him a packed lunch really? Unless there's a lot more going on in your relationship will MIL then I wouldn't cause upset over things like this as it'll backfire and cause problems in type relationship with your husband too

She sounds a proper cock and I’d keep my distance. But you were out of order weighing in about the packed lunches - not your business.

Interesting that you choose to MIL bash when she’s actually doing a nice thing (even though it’s irritate me too). Yet you’re not husband bashing.

Why are you having a go at her and not your baby man child husband who is happily using her good will?

Because if you have an excuse for him taking it, then you’re as bad as MIL is, and doing your own equivalent of warming milk for him 🤷🏻‍♀️

So unless he’s told her time and again not to, and making his lunch is her only pleasure in life, and he’s dropping it to a homeless person daily… then you’re a hypocrite.

I think you and your MIL have an awful lot in common

@Cap89
I didn't even consider I was referring to her future death! I just thought I would give her what she gives me, because why not? To me she is looking for confrontation with many of her comments, so what should I do, just sit there?

She did not kill someone, far out talk about being dramatic

Gosh you lost your rag and got spiteful real quick didn't you?

You couldve stopped at the first comment, and eye rolls to replace the rest.

I see a lot of threads on here where 'I made MIL cry' and think it's manipulative dramatics by the MIL but you went below the belt. I'm not surprised she cried.

Nice burn! She might think twice before crossing your boundaries n

You sound as bad as each other.

I think you started it.
Why can she make her son lunch?
You started it with the milk comment.

Her comment about the first woman in his life is icky and I hate that mentality, but you sound as bad as each other.

@Sparklfairy
Why should I just roll my eyes? She is the one who started down this path. I don't believe just because she's his mother I need to listen to:

• her insinuating I'm a bad woman for not making this adult man a lunch
• her insinuating she loves him more

...without responding

You were over the top, I always come away from my mums and MILs with food 🤣

That conversation was never going to go well.

She wanted an argument she got one.

Let her get on with babying your partner, but honestly I’d find it very unattractive if my DH went to his mummy to make him a packed lunch every day. It’s more how your P behaved than your MIL.

So you're upset that your mil makes your dh lunch? Why? Mil often gives a packed lunch to my dw, she enjoys doing it, feels like she's being useful, it's a way of showing she cares. Plus if you live alone it's very difficult to get small one person packs of ham, cooked chicken etc especially if you don't eat a lot yourself.
It's also saving your dh a few pounds...I can't see the issue. It sounds like you are jealous of their relationship. It's good that he sees her every day, without impacting on your relationship with him

I think what you said was pretty mean and unnecessary. You didn't just stoop to her level, you went lower. It sounds like you really wanted to land a low blow but I bet it doesn't feel good.

So what if she makes his packed lunch, it's just a nice thing to do. You put her on the defensive by having a go about that.

What did you mean by ‘and I’ll be the last?’ That definitely sounds like you’re saying she may have been there at the beginning, but when you’re gone there will only be you.

Why the mil getting the blame? She makes your dh a lunch, he takes it. Personally I can’t see the problem in this arrangement. Wish someone would make my lunch.

would you rather he didn’t take the lunch and make his own? - surely that’s his choice to make and a conversation you should be having with him.

I bet he’s loving it, two grown women, with him centre stage.

Woerd on both sides to me. I think this type of jealousy/competing for affection between mother and wife and overly intimate mother son relationships are more common in other European cultures and will sound odd to UK audience and especially on here as the persecuted MILs brigade will be out in force to tell you you’re in the wrong.

Sorry, meant to say when she’s gone

I think you were mean to her. Making him a packed lunch was a nice gesture. It doesn't mean he's incapable of making his own.

Nah I think it was a great comeback

He sounds like a right mummy's boy though... gross

Just a stab in the dark, but is she italian?

You're as bad as each other OP. Fighting over which one of you comes first with him. It's childish and lacks dignity on both your parts. Obviously she's not the best, but you deliberately and unnecessarily baited her and to remind her she'd die before you (I assumd that's what you were implying?) was a low blow.
You both need to grow up and understand that a mother and a romantic partner have entirely different roles in a man's life.
If she babies your partner and you dislike it, tell him to tell her to stop.