How normal is it to pack your partner's bags?

[BathtimeBedlam]

I feel hard done by in that in my house I pack all the bags for me and the kids and DH does himself. This is also true for laundry etc. I do me and the family and the bedding etc, he looks after himself.

Recently he went on a stag do and he told me he was the "most modern man" there as the mens wives had packed their bags for them, despite not even going on the trip. So he felt he had bragging rights that he managed to pack his own 2 day trip bag.

Is this a common thing? He said my expectations were too high and that behind closed doors women were still packing, washing, and ironing the blokes stuff as well as their own and the kids.

Wanted to see what the women on MN think!

I do. I pack his work bag also. Not because he can’t or isn’t willing, because it’s something I can do for him to help out.

Haha

I've sometimes packed for DH when he's working late before an early start holiday but he hates it. Says I pack wrong and he then doesn't know what stuff he's got.

Nearly 30 years. I've never packed his bag, never would , how weird.

These wives are in their 30s by the way. As am I.

I just questioned it again and said "really your mates didn't know what was in their own bags" and DH got irritated and said "yes lots of women do things like that still"

He definitely told me in "you don't have anything to complain about" way.

I should show him this thread.

I’ve never packed DH’s bag. We have very different packing styles and my style means I use quite a bit of his luggage allowance!

DS is now a mean packer, very much takes after his dad

He sounds like a dick.

When we go away together we don’t have separate bags. I pack them.

Our set up is similar. DH does actual packing into suitcases. He can pack a dinosaur into a handbag. We all do assembling. I sometimes do his clothes as well just because I’m in charge of all laundry (my choice).
I don’t see big issue with this as we delegate as we go along. Last year I did most of paperwork, the year before he did.

I certainly do not pack my husbands bag and I never have. When we go away we do the dcs things together, which I'm sure plenty of people would think is weird. I get seriously overwhelmed packing so I tend to do a list then we go over it together one reading off the list and one going round grabbing bits and pieces.

I do know of women who pack their husbands bags though.

DH packed his own stuff on our first family holiday. Forgot trousers.
Still packs his own stuff. Hasn't forgotten trousers (or anything else) since.

No colour sorting which I don't see the point of.

I do. I have a lot of whites/very light colors to wash so I always wash them separately. Besides, DH doesn't have enough clothes to wait until he has a full load

I have never packed DH bag! I don't think he would want me to either, I wouldn't have a clue what he would want to wear.

Depends…

• If we are going away in the same country DH will pack a suitcase/overnight bag.
• Sometimes last minute weekend get away, literally decided that morning… I will get home from work first so just throw a load of stuff in a suitcase.
• If we are going abroad DH will sort his clothes. I pack. I will put a mix of everyone’s clothes in each suitcase. Just incase one gets lost at the airport we all have enough to get by.
• I always pack for the children. Goodness knows what they would look like if DH had to pack for them. Plus their wardrobes contain next size up I pick up in the sale.

But we aren’t a she does the cleaning/laundry. He sorts the cars/DIY/Garden sort of family. DH will often hoover, put some washing on, etc. I will mow the lawn, decorate, etc. We do our fair share. If one of us is working more the other picks up the slack a bit.

Would never pack my DH bags. He is a grown man so he can take care of that by himself. I already do everything else just like you so that's enough. Did you tell him everything you already do? I think men often don't realise how much work there is to keep house clean, all household textiles washed, fridge full, kids fed and in clean clothes etc. 🤦🏽‍♀️

I wouldn't pack him abag if it was overnight/weekend away but I pack for us all if going abroad

Oh. So I think of packing for someone as being selecting all the things that they should take and putting them in a suitcase. The placing in a suitcase bit seems quite minor...

I thought packing meant sticking stuff in the case, as in physcially packing it, not choosing all the stuff that goes in it, I choose my stuff and DH chooses his, but I am responsible for making sure it all fits in. I did sort the childrens clothes out when they were little though, otherwise it would have meant no pants and half a dozen dressing up outfits

OK, I get not having to separate it later. And if you lived alone you would also do it this way, but separating whites from everything else, synthetics/delicates from heavy jeans etc just makes the wash more efficient, keeps whites looking better, prolongs life of synthetics....we literally have one washing pike for everything and pull out a load of similar stuff.

Your husband is dilusional!

I don't pack DHs clothes or buy them for that matter and shock horror he also does the children's laundry!

I used to pack all the children's clothes but then refused when DS2 was born said he was also responsible so we do it together with packing cubes.

As for he's 'a modern man' bollocks is he, if he was he would get on with also doing laundry for all without making a song and dance about it! My DH certainly never says you know I did 2 loads of washing this week!

I have never ever packed my partners bag, or bathed him, or fed him with a spoon. He's an adult male. I would really question the intelligence of a woman who would do this for her husband in this day and age, unless he is returning the favour somehow, like wiping her arse, or cutting her toe nails.

If all of us are going away we don't have separate bags - each one will contain some of everyone's clothes. DH will get his and DS's clothes out and then I actually pack them in the bags because I'm good at packing and he's useless and I don't trust him with my things. Coming home when it doesn't matter if things get creased then we'll do it together

Whilst I would always choose what I am taking with me, the men in my family tend to think that only men can pack efficiently. Wrapping presents is another task they consider they are better at - this does not necessarily mean that they pull their weight in all other areas!

Christ, who are these women packing their husbands bags for them?! I don't even pack my 6 years olds bag, I use it as an opportunity to teach some sort of independence (I obviously check it and refold some dubious packing situations, but nevertheless, she does the main part of deciding what she wants to take, and planning what she'll need with a little advice on weather etc). I wouldn't want someone to pack for me, and I'm sure my husband equally wouldn't want me to assume what he wants to wear when away, so I wouldn't even consider it!

@Herecomesthemoon DH wraps presents in our house, he was taught by his dad who worked for the post office

Do they feck!
Please show him the thread so he can realise just how big of a idiot he is being!

When my DH has had those small moments of "you have it good" I find stopping doing those things for a few days helps.....like him realising there wasn't a magical bathroom fairy which changed the bloody loo roll!

@BathtimeBedlam just show him
this from Man Who Has It All https://twitter.com/manwhohasitall/status/1689917629002117120?s=46&t=gRFM3sPrtwXu9iKPwcHj-Q

(on facebook too if you don’t do twitter)

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