How normal is it to pack your partner's bags?

[BathtimeBedlam]

I feel hard done by in that in my house I pack all the bags for me and the kids and DH does himself. This is also true for laundry etc. I do me and the family and the bedding etc, he looks after himself.

Recently he went on a stag do and he told me he was the "most modern man" there as the mens wives had packed their bags for them, despite not even going on the trip. So he felt he had bragging rights that he managed to pack his own 2 day trip bag.

Is this a common thing? He said my expectations were too high and that behind closed doors women were still packing, washing, and ironing the blokes stuff as well as their own and the kids.

Wanted to see what the women on MN think!

I just asked DH what my favourite knickers are. He looked at me blankly, and said “how should I know?” Now imagine asking him to pick my 7 top favourite pairs that don’t ride up the arse or rub, for a week away.

that’s what these men are asking their wives to do.

Oh. So I think of packing for someone as being selecting all the things that they should take and putting them in a suitcase. The placing in a suitcase bit seems quite minor...

I don't understand family members doing their own washing. I wash similar colours together. If DH and I did our own washing the washing machine would be used twice as much.

I have never ever packed my husbands bags. He's not lazy! And I would probably choose the wrong clothes anyway 🤣

I don't understand why people find this concept so hard.

We have separate baskets for each person. No colour sorting which I don't see the point of. We wait for a full load. No need to separate everyone's stuff from each other's to put away. No extra loads.

Nah balls. I do pack for me and DS, he does himself. I iron nothing he does it all and we share all other laundry duties (although I do actually end up putting it away 🤔)

I don't pack his at all. Never have either. He's perfectly capable of managing when away for work so he can do it for holiday. I tend to make sure the washing is done and dry so it can be taken away but it's up to him to pack it.

DH can take the word 'lazy' to a whole new level, but even he manages to do his own packing! Never considered doing his! We were well-used to packing for ourselves from uni onwards (and going away somewhere in our teens).

He also does the minimal ironing. Three adult DC at home and we all do our own laundry. Separate laundry baskets.

Why on earth would I pack my partner's bag? How would I know what he wants? Bizarre.

^ This!

Hell NO. My DH does his own laundry too and will even do the ‘house’ laundry and DC laundry too. Who are these prehistoric women

Not only have I never packed a case for DH in over 30 years as a couple, our 11 year old has packed his own cases for years. I would be astonished if anyone I know packed for their spouses.

Neither do I cook or iron for DH, or buy his clothes.

My husband would pack my bag if I asked him to.. he wouldn't trust me to pack his 😂

It shouldn't be and tell your 'D' H that until he runs the whole house or at least genuinely 50/50 he's just as shittily patriarchal as the rest of them. Bloody hell my oh is in his 70s and wouldn't dream of expecting this 'service'.

My Mum used to pack for my Dad. I still find it unbelievable

I've just finished packing one case between us. While I was doing this DH was sweeping and vacuuming ready for the house sitter. We just do whatever needs to be done between us.

No idea if it's normal or not.

When we go away as a family we would both get clothes for the children. Now they're older one of us will give them a list and then one of us will check with the clothes they've given us. DH picks his stuff and I pick mine. Everything goes on the bed and DH is always the one to put it in the cases as he is an expert packer! I always remember the bits like calpol and plasters. He wouldn't bother with these as he thinks we can buy them when we're there, which is true, but not helpful at 3am!!

If he goes on his own, he packs his own stuff. I might remind him by saying, 'Did you pack pants and socks?' but this is more of an 'in' joke because once he actually forgot them! 🤪🤣 And I do like any excuse to take the piss out of him!

My 13 year old packs his own bag, he will also help pack anything else we need. Women need to have better standards tbh and stop being slaves to their families and get men to actually do some of the family work.

They aren't incapable either no matter how many women say they are. They would be fully functioning adults without a woman in their life. Plenty of gay men out their managing life very well.

I rarely pack a bag for DP. The only occasions are:

• hes working late the night before and early start
• its a short break and were sharing a bag. I pack signigicantly more so make sense for me to do it.

Conversely, he would do the same for me

Oh and when I go away on my own. I bring him the clothes etc and he puts it in the case for me. 🙈🤣

I dumped mine and DD’s stuff on the bed and I’m watching DH pack my stuff right now. He also went and dug up some books for DD and some colouring stuff for her and a deck of cards, got her slippers, remembered to pack her glitter nailpolish etc etc.

I stick the laundry on but neither of us iron but I’d be happy to do his ironing as he shares the load pretty well.

I do not pack DH's bags for holidays or work trips. I do not pack 2 x DSs' bags now they're teenagers. I don not iron DH's shirts. I don't put away their laundry. They all bring down their own laundry and we process it as needed,. whoever's there first.
Why do we pander to the men in our lives? We love them but we're doing them - or ourselves - no favours by doing everything for them.

I do all the laundry. He does all the ironing. We pack our own bags.

Nope. And I haven’t packed for DC since they were about 5. If anyone forgets stuff, they make do, me included. Never had anything that couldn’t be resolved with some sink washing or a small spend at the destination. (We do all check that we have passports/cards/phones as we leave the house.)

Absolutely no chance my husband would even let me attempt to pack his bag! Nor would he go around bragging about it. We do know some couples where the wife does pack the husbands clothes - and neither of us are particularly impressed by this, but if they are happy to do it then I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it if it’s how they split household tasks etc.

We also know some couples and the wife buy a the husbands clothes, but I think that’s more because they have a poor dress sense and need a bit of help rather than trying to control everything! Doesn’t happen in our house though just as we both like to do it ourselves.

In terms of running the house / admin etc I would say we are quite 50/50 in our house, but in reality it depends what we each have going on. Sometimes it’s more 60/40 or 40/60 but it’s only because we are a team and reality means there are different seasons of busy periods at work etc where we have to step up and support each other a bit more. There is no “primary parent” in our house. We each know what’s going on with our child whether that be clothing, school, appointments, activities etc.

I have absolutely no desire to control anything in my husbands life, never mind every little thing as your husband suggests.

I would be seriously unimpressed with any man who was bragging about packing his own bag for a trip he was going on and wouldn’t hold back from telling them so if they bragged about it in front of me!