To think a friendship between a 20 year old and 27 year old is odd

[Allofyourflaws]

And the gap. Is massive

I'm guessing the OP is the 20 year old in this situation. I guess it might seem weird if you're not long out of school, as you're used to thinking in school years and having friends exactly the same age as you. They haven't been operating in the adult world for long enough to realise it's totally normal.

I find it funny, I started my re-read of Pride and Prejudice this week, and the main character, Lizzy Bennet and her closest friend Charlotte Lucas have this exact age gap. Lizzy is 20 and Charlotte is 27. I don't find anything odd in how their friendship is portrayed, and while of course it is fiction, Jane Austen was a realist.

In the real world it's also not odd and unless the 20 year old is extremely immature for their age, it's not a massive maturity gap either.

Interested to hear what prompted this thread. Does your 20 year old have older friends who are bad influences, or something along those lines?

What?! My first marriage was to someone who was 29 when I was 20. I'm now married to someone who's seven years younger than me. Yes, the first marriage didn't work out, but that's probably because he was in the entertainment industry (and had the opportunities that that offers), and absolutely nothing to do with me being 20 and him being 29. A 20 year old is an adult who is probably perfectly capable of working things out for themselves.

YABVU

Not weird at all. Pretty standard I'd say.

My best friend is 7 years younger than me, we met while studying together, I was 36 she was 29. Now I'm 52 and she's 45. It doesn't really feel like there's a gap, we're currently being menopausal together!!

I agree with the PP that I’d say it’s pretty standard and normal to have a friends with this sort of age gap.

Once you are an adult you tend to have friends outside of your age group.
The only reason you have friends in your own year group as a child is because schools are put on year groups.

I work in an SEND school which doesn’t have age groups and lots of what would be year 11s are best friends with year 7s because socially and emotionally they are similar.

It would be fine for a romantic relationship. Even more fine for a friendship.

All my friends bar one are either a good dollop of years younger or older than me. And my husband was 40 and I 26 when we first met. Better hand my odd self in to the age-gap police. 😁

Not odd in the slightest.

No not at all, I had a 37yr old friend when I was 21, we are still friends now 25yrs on

The gap between a 10 year old and a 17 year old is massive.
The gap between a 60 year old and a 67 year old is nothing.
In your 20s - well it's borderline I guess

If the "friendship" isn't a sexual one then there's nothing wrong at all. If it is a sexual relationship I would be cautious - a 20 year old could be vulnerable in that situation, as they still have a bit more maturing to do and I wouldn't encourage them to make any decisions that feel like long-term commitments at that age

In our group of friends the oldest is 50 and the youngest 31.... they get on fine

The difference between 20 and 27 is seven, so technically, yes, it is odd 😂

Is it your husband and a woman he works with?

I don’t think it’s odd, there was a big group of us l when I was that age and it ranged from early twenties to late twenties.

also I met my ex husband when I was 21 and he was 29, in don’t think that’s that big an age gap.

Not weird at all. I’m 41 and have friends aged from 25 up to around 50 ish. I think once you’re an adult then the ages of your friends is unimportant. Obviously if your friend is a minor then that’s weird but as long as everyone is an adult then ages are a non issue.

I met one of my very best friends when I was 16 and she was 27!! We worked at the same restaurant snd quickly became very close. That was 31 years ago and we are still best friends.

I had my first baby at 21 and met another mum at baby group who became my closest mum friend and she was 34. I’m now 34 and she’s almost 50 and still a dear friend of mine. She was my only support and offer of childcare for my son when I was hospitalised during a devastating missed miscarriage, support I’ll be forever grateful for.
The age gap never came up and never mattered, it still doesn’t.

I also went to university as a mature student and am 8 years older than a friend I met there who is now one of my best friends, I have just been her bridesmaid.
I love both friends very much. I don’t care if anyone thinks the age gaps are ‘weird’.

Same here, it all adds to life and seeing things from many different perspectives

No. Presumably they have similar interests or hobbies.
They can socialise together eg both old enough to drink.
Adam 27 and Ben 20 going to watch the football and have a drink in pub together wouldn’t raise any eyebrows.

My best friend is 21 years older than me, I'm closer in age to her daughter than to her.

Nope. I'm 33. My friends range in age from late 20s to early 60s

Why would that be weird?

What about it if Was two mums aged 20 and 27 (both pretty young mums at that) and met at a NCS group or new mums group and because best friends, would that be weird?

Or if they worked together and got along really well and decided to spend time together outside work?
Or if they were neighbours?
Or attend a hobby or church group or social club together?

There is more ways to meet friends than your peer school year group or university cohort (which could also be older with mature students)

I’m genuinely baffled as to why this would be weird and a “big age gap” for friends ?!?

I’m 15 years older than one of my best friends. Doesn’t impact our relationship at all.

Yabu, it's much healthier to have a range of friendships of different ages and backgrounds rather than just sticking to a group of people "like you".

People and characters can still get along, and bring different perspectives without being the same age- having friends across a range of generations us really beneficial to everyone. 20-27 is nothing.