Kids at the park

[Blueb3ll]

I specifically went to the park late today so it would be quiet and dd (1.5) could explore. When we turned up we were literally the only people there, but after 15 mins or so a group of kids turned up.

When the kids (4 of them, supervised by a teenager), my dd was playing on the slide. They wanted to use the slide so I moved dd and said “come on let’s use something else”, and I moved her to another part which was one of the ways up to this climbing frame. There were 4 ways to get up to this slide. Two of the kids, the same ones I moved her for, I’d say around 7&5 then decided they wanted to come up and down the part she was playing on. Didn’t say excuse me, didn’t say anything, the seven year old looking boy pushed my child out of the way by her head!!! I said “No, don’t push her”. I wasn’t angry, I was just firm.

The boy then didn’t come back but the 5 year old girl kept coming back and trying to push passed dd not saying excuse me or anything. I looked over at the teenager and she was just sat on her phone. I didn’t move dd but I didn’t stop the girl squeezing passed, I don’t think I had the right to tell the girl no go a different way so I just ignored her and carried on playing with dd.

Am I being unreasonable? I’m new to the children’s park scene but how do I handle situations like this?

I can’t believe that boy pushed my 1 year old by her head! I’m annoyed. Is this normal? I’ve never seen any kids in my family/ friends behave like this.

Yeah they were behaving how unsupervised little kids behave - and 5 and 7 is still pretty little, especially 5. Yes they can tell right from wrong but they are pretty clueless still at that age without adult supervision - especially if they habitually don’t get any.

The teenager was probably fed up of being childcare !

Being pushed by the head is obviously not ok. Otherwise it sounds like you’re a bit over tense about the whole situation.

It's pretty standard behaviour but fine to be firm as you were

This

I honestly thought it was going to be a post about vaping drug taking teens swearing and fighting.

Um yes I’d say tense, my 1.5 year old got pushed by her head

I don't think you did a anything wrong by telling the boy off but I do think you need to accept that there will always be kids like this at the park. Older children are often used to dominating parks (and their younger siblings). They often calm down after a firm word though.

There was a boy trying to whiz around one of our local playparks recently. It took some convincing (with the support of some other mothers) to get him to stop. There were toddlers trying to scuttle across a suspended bridge in the park and for some reason he thought it would be a great idea to ride across it multiple times. I ended up having to sit my wide, heavily pregnant body on it to stop him!

The benefits outweigh the negatives though. Some older children love playing with my toddler. Tis very sweet.

The basic thing is those are very little children and need to be supervised!

But you sound like you were tense about just taking her to the park - waited till she was 1.5, waited till “late in the day”, “new to the park scene”.

I don’t want to be mean - but it does sound like you were quite tense in the run up to this.

They're kids in the playground. Playgrounds aren't really designed for 1.5 year olds, they're designed for older children. Your daughter's slow 'exploration' is hogging the equipment.

And they're just little kids. I know they feel massive and unruly and dangerous when you have a PFB but they're overgrown babies really.

Not great for you and DD, but unfortunately a pretty common scenario.

it’s perfectly ok to tell kids when they’re doing stuff that isn’t on. I find a bright yet firm approach works well ‘you need to use the other side to get up to the slide, poppet, as the little one’s already using this one’. Said with a smile but tone of finality.

They're 5 and 7, hardly hulking teens smoking weed.
Unclench and take your wee tot to a park which is more toddler friendly.

And fine to call out the head pushing, which was out of order, clearly: ‘No, don’t push her head like that, you’ll hurt her. Go round the other side, or wait to take your turn’ .

Just say it like it is, in a firm but non-aggressive way. Channel the most effective teacher you have experience of!

Ah see this is my first time encountering this. I understand kids can be boisterous but it was the push that threw me off.
Guess I should expect to see some more of this.
I don’t know why the parents are palming multiple children off on a teen, ridiculous

That sounds like a good way to handle this kind of situation in future

5,6,7 year olds aren't generally known for their thoughtfulness. They barge around and don't always pay much heed to what's around them. Earlier in the day is a much better time FYI - parents of toddlers often end up in the park between 9-10am after dropping older kids off to clubs and things. Any school age kids not at clubs are likely to be not long out of bed by 9

Your expectations of kids are way off. It’s not normal to think a 5 year old is going to assume she can’t access part of a climbing frame because your child is on it. Children all play together in things like this. If your child is so young and unsteady that she can’t be on it with other children then you need to take it her to a park that caters to younger children.

Most play areas aren't meant for 1.5 year olds so parents who want their toddlers to explore need to accept that other children of the target age range are inevitably going to play like children of that age.

It's fine to politely and firmly intervene if need be, but I don't think it's reasonable for parents of younger toddlers to start policing how other children play in case precious 1 year old gets knocked.

When mine were that age they either went to toddler play areas, or bigger ones like you've taken them to and I accepted that it's not my job to police primary aged children's play when I've decided to put my toddler in that situation.

She was on it perfectly fine, the 5 year old had to literally barge shoulders passed her each time.
I’ve been in a lot of kids lives before I had my own and have never seen kids push or barge 1 year olds.
Most children I’ve encountered would ask to get passed or go a different way

Early mornings are a better time for the little ones. I would expect an 18mo old to have a parent hovering nearby.

Call out “be careful of littler children!” or “one minute guys, someone’s on the slide just now” when you see boisterous older ones approaching.

It’s a free for all and 5y olds definitely don’t adhere to any sort of etiquette or anything. If no one is supervising just speak directly to them without scolding them.

”precious one year old gets knocked”
I think you mean unsupervised 7 year old boy pushed a one year old by her head.

how about teach manners?

A 5 year old isn’t going to say “excuse me” every time they pass another child on a climbing frame, you’re being ridiculous!
It’s unreasonable to hog a whole piece of equipment that will be aimed at the 5 year old not the 1 year old.

@Blueb3ll well, maybe in 4 years you'll understand needing childcare in the school holidays.

there's nothing wrong with being firm with other children, but be nice.

@Blueb3ll I don’t know why the parents are palming multiple children off on a teen, ridiculous

Come back when you're trying to juggle kids in school holidays with work.

I think it is unreasonable to police how young children play. Not wrong to say "don't push her/don't touch her head" but you're making it sound like a violent altercation - was your wee one crying/bruised/injured etc?

I'd ordinarily say it's normal to feel a bit overwhelmed by older kids and think they seem huge compared to a baby/young toddler (this normally disappears when you have subsequent children!) but you say you have a lot of experience with kids - although it doesn't sound like it!