Kids at the park

[Blueb3ll]

I specifically went to the park late today so it would be quiet and dd (1.5) could explore. When we turned up we were literally the only people there, but after 15 mins or so a group of kids turned up.

When the kids (4 of them, supervised by a teenager), my dd was playing on the slide. They wanted to use the slide so I moved dd and said “come on let’s use something else”, and I moved her to another part which was one of the ways up to this climbing frame. There were 4 ways to get up to this slide. Two of the kids, the same ones I moved her for, I’d say around 7&5 then decided they wanted to come up and down the part she was playing on. Didn’t say excuse me, didn’t say anything, the seven year old looking boy pushed my child out of the way by her head!!! I said “No, don’t push her”. I wasn’t angry, I was just firm.

The boy then didn’t come back but the 5 year old girl kept coming back and trying to push passed dd not saying excuse me or anything. I looked over at the teenager and she was just sat on her phone. I didn’t move dd but I didn’t stop the girl squeezing passed, I don’t think I had the right to tell the girl no go a different way so I just ignored her and carried on playing with dd.

Am I being unreasonable? I’m new to the children’s park scene but how do I handle situations like this?

I can’t believe that boy pushed my 1 year old by her head! I’m annoyed. Is this normal? I’ve never seen any kids in my family/ friends behave like this.

She did and the boy didn't do it again.

Actually I took on board advice at the beginning of the thread.
i don’t think they have a duty of care, I think the parent who let their teen inadequately supervise 4 kids has a duty of care to their own child they were neglecting to have supervised.
i won’t be teaching my 1 year old that she’s not as entitled as everyone else and she has to constantly move when the other kids tell her to. We moved to another area so they could play on the slide, I’m not going to keep moving her, that’s reasonable.
I really don’t care if 99% of this thread thinks I’m unreasonable, I posted this to get opinions, doesn’t mean I have to agree with the replies pmsl

@Blueb3ll if you think the teen had a duty of care, why didn't you just mention it to them?

I've always loathed parks. Been going to them for a fucking decade now.

Any older child who gets too boisterous with one of mine is asked firmly but politely not to do it again. That's fair.

However it's an unspoken rule (not to mention just plain common sense) that toddlers don't clog up the things designed for the bigger kids? Same way older kids should always be asked to move from the kiddy swings / area if little ones are waiting.

Your pfb 'exploring' the slide is only cute to you I'm afraid. The other kids just want to play on age appropriate park equipment.

YANBU to be upset that your DD's head was shoved - that sounds like deliberate aggression and I would be annoyed by that too.

YABU to be annoyed at children trying to get past your DD. That's how older children play - they run and dash about and if there is a slower-moving child in their way, they push past them. When my DC was that age, I would always pull them onto my lap when older children approached to protect them.

And please remember that you're an adult in their territory. While some playgrounds do have areas for smaller children, most are aimed at children who can play independently without the need for a close adult presence. The whole point is for children to be running, climbing, chasing each other so they can improve their fitness and self-confidence through free play without adults hovering over them.

@SoupDragon

And?

It really does sound like this particular park was not designed with tiny toddlers in mind , you need to find one more suitable for tiny tots .

Yeah I think it threw me as it was the first time something like this as happened.
next time if the unsupervised kids are being a bit full on, I’m just going to take her elsewhere before anything like this can happen.
roll on September

@Blueb3ll - why did you bother asking the question if you're not interested in what other people think?

I posted this to get opinions, doesn’t mean I have to agree with the replies pmsl

You could take the general consensus on board though.

She wasn’t exploring the slide, she was before they came in and I moved her to a part on the other side so they could use the slide freely. She wasn’t clogging anything the slide had 3 other entry points. What I did was common sense, I did not anticipate them then deciding they wanted out of the entire park that part as well, must be my inexperience

You just said before that you won't... Make up your mind.

yes this. I was struggling to articulate that 5-7 year olds generally ARENT very supervised in parks if I remember correctly.

I’ll explain it to you very simply what I said shall I?
I said I won’t move her all around the park everytime the older kids want her to move when the park is nearly empty. Im also saying that when the unsupervised children are there im going to move her BEFORE this can happen.
Both those statements can be true at the same time

Ah, one thing to be aware of is that between the ages of about 2 and 6, all children want to play on the equipment the other kids want. If they see a kid running for the only free swing, they immediately want it too and will run and try to beat them to it. It’s particularly gittish behaviour, but they do grow out of it, thankfully. They pretty much all do it, yours will too, but it is very annoying.

I trained DD to be surreptitious about what she wanted to go on. She’s a slow runner, so loudly announcing ‘ooh, there’s a swing free, I’m going on it’ was a sure-fire way for some other little darling to beat her to it. So it had to be a stealth operation involving nonchalance for her to get on the equipment at busy times.

so true 🤣

It’s completely normal for a 5 & 7 year old to be up playing on a climbing frame “unsupervised”. Your 1 year old only needs a helicopter parent over her because she’s too young for the equipment.

oooOOOOOooo someone's getting feisty.

I wasn’t annoyed at the pushing passed bit and that’s why I didn’t say anything to the girl, it was only really the pushing

It’s funny, on many other AIBUs the responses are ‘there are no rules saying you can’t X or Y, so YABU/YANBU’.

There are no rules on how old a kid has to be to have a go on the equipment, it’s up to parents to ensure they’re playing safely. And there’s certainly no rules about what time you can go at, according to the age of the child or anything else.

The bottom line is a kid pushed a much smaller one by the head and pushed in when they were having a turn on something. That is not okay; at 7 they should’ve known better. The 5 year old is a bit more excusable, but still not great.

If people think this is excusable ‘because the little kid shouldn’t have been there’ or ‘because it was too late for the little kid to be at the park anyway’ (although apparently not too late for a 5 year old), then it’s really not surprising that there’s another thread debating why kids are so badly behaved and entitled these days.

People are falling over themselves to justify this because it’s ‘OP versus kids’ and kids always win. And they’ll just find excuses to fit that narrative.

Hope your daughter is okay OP.

@Jamtartforme There are no rules on how old a kid has to be to have a go on the equipment, it’s up to parents to ensure they’re playing safely.

Actually plenty of parks have an age range for the kids there are aimed at. All the parks I regularly go to list the age particular areas are designed for.

It's school holidays and the other children are in the prime age group for using the play equipment independently. It's exciting, sometimes they don't look properly or forget their manners. Your child is a toddler who has been introduced to the park at a peak time and your expecting everyone else to follow your toddler parenting rules. She's too little to be there when it's being used by older children judging by your reaction. Try again when schools go back. I also agree with commenting about the other children (not in a negative way) . When you're big like that girl you can climb up yourself too, once the boy has gone down the slide it's your turn etc can be a useful tool

If the equipment was for climbing on though, you cannot let your child just sit on it. There is other equipment for that.

At 5 and 7 they're at the park to run around, climb, try everything, burn off energy and get some exercise - it's good for them! I'd be moving a 1.5 year old to the side so they can pass, it's really not on for anyone of any age to sit on the play equipment and block the way for everyone else.

They shouldn't have pushed her head but they have next to no impulse control at that age, especially when a bit hyped up and running around. Fine for you to tell them to be careful and no push, but you need to do your bit too.

How many people stick to it? I see older kids running around in the ‘under 5s’ all the time, and very little toddlers in the ‘over 5s’. Sometimes it’s because mum or dad have a few kids that don’t fit into one age group. It’s just a guideline that isn’t enforceable. Should little toddlers be shoved by the head because their parent let them play in an ‘unsuitable’ part of the playground?