Kids at the park

[Blueb3ll]

I specifically went to the park late today so it would be quiet and dd (1.5) could explore. When we turned up we were literally the only people there, but after 15 mins or so a group of kids turned up.

When the kids (4 of them, supervised by a teenager), my dd was playing on the slide. They wanted to use the slide so I moved dd and said “come on let’s use something else”, and I moved her to another part which was one of the ways up to this climbing frame. There were 4 ways to get up to this slide. Two of the kids, the same ones I moved her for, I’d say around 7&5 then decided they wanted to come up and down the part she was playing on. Didn’t say excuse me, didn’t say anything, the seven year old looking boy pushed my child out of the way by her head!!! I said “No, don’t push her”. I wasn’t angry, I was just firm.

The boy then didn’t come back but the 5 year old girl kept coming back and trying to push passed dd not saying excuse me or anything. I looked over at the teenager and she was just sat on her phone. I didn’t move dd but I didn’t stop the girl squeezing passed, I don’t think I had the right to tell the girl no go a different way so I just ignored her and carried on playing with dd.

Am I being unreasonable? I’m new to the children’s park scene but how do I handle situations like this?

I can’t believe that boy pushed my 1 year old by her head! I’m annoyed. Is this normal? I’ve never seen any kids in my family/ friends behave like this.

You’re in for a wild ride when she goes to nursery, OP.

Actually reading through this thread I can see very well why teachers say so many kids are badly behaved compared to years gone by.

Older children aren’t great at watching out for small ones generally. It happened yesterday when the children my daughter was with (6&5) went on equipment designed for 3/4 year olds, used it to climb up inappropriately and nearly clouted an under 2. It’s not ideal but at 5, and definitely 7, they should be being more careful and someone should be guiding them to wait, use different routes and apologise if they bump another child. YANBU

Wow. How do you know they were all from one family? I only have 2 DC but I need additional childcare during the school holidays (including, rarely, my 16yo niece who may or may not also be watching her younger siblings). Did I have too many children to handle then? 🤔
Unless you work in education or on a zero hours contract, OP, you may well find that there are occasions when your 1 child is also "too many for you to handle".
I was pretty sympathetic to your case (although it is a bit PFB if I'm honest) until you came out with that.

Kids parks are pretty lawless- It's survival of the biggest- but little kids tend to have fierce mums to look out for them. 💪

It was a large and park and other than dd had only 4 children in it. There was plenty of room for everyone to play

18mo is very young. At this stage, you really need to seek out quiet bits of the playground for them, and hover constantly. It's tough but they are suicide seekers at this age - even in somewhere soft like a sandpit, you have to be standing over them every bloody second to stop them eating the sand or putting it in their eyes.

I'd have told him off gently too TBH. I always taught my kids to be careful around little ones, even at aged 7.

I just tell them to be careful of the lo

this is rubbish though isn't it. we had LESS supervision in years gone by. so by that logic, kids should be better behaved these days.

OP isn't describing badly behaved kids, she just describing kids

what I said was probably a bit sassy but I don’t think summer holidays is an excuse for inadequate supervision

If we're playing 'judge each others parenting'... How come your 18mo hasn't been to the park before?

YABU to expect 5yos to show consideration, that's not on their radar yet. The push wasn't kind and you could have said something then. The rest sounds general park activity tbh.

My dc aren't perfect but in a million years they wouldn't have pushed a one year old by the head....supervised or not that's appalling behaviour for a child, assuming no sn.

THIS!

It gets really rough at nurseries- yes, even in middle class areas.

Toddlers and pre schoolers can be little pschitts.

A seven year old pushing a one year old by the head isn’t badly behaved?
I’m not saying the child is demon spawn but come on, I’d have been told off by my parents if I’d have done that to a much younger child.

You’re equating supervision with good behaviour. Not the same thing. A 7 year old shoving a toddler by the head IS badly behaved no matter how you slice and dice it. If my kid did that they would get a telling off. And I would tell them to apologise.

it ISNT inadequate supervision. You were supervising your toddler and told the boy off when he shoved her head/protected her from harm

if you felt that they needed something more than that, there was a teenager that you could have approached. but you didn't because that would have been an over reaction. you don't hover over 5 and 7 year olds like you do with under 2s

What kind of equipment was your DD on? If they're going to sit and explore and not move aside for others then it needs to be somewhere suitable - swing, seesaw, those puzzle things. If it was something like a bridge on a climbing frame then you need to use it as intended or make way for kids who are doing so.

There's a bridge net thing on the little climbing frame in our playground that little kids love to explore. Not an issue, the parents just move them to the side so the bigger kids can get by.

If someone with a sitting 18 month old told my 5yo to go another way on a climbing frame that she was using appropriately I would cheerfully but firmly tell her it was ok to go past.

and you DID tell him off. I'm sure the parents would have told him off if they were there

If you were blocking the way for others you weren't supervising appropriately either.

Well, the pushing obviously wasn't OK, but you told the child off and he didn't do it again. The rest is normal child behaviour. Toddlers are a nuisance to older children, they just want to get on with playing, not waiting behind a toddler, so there will be a lot of squeezing through, running past, jumping the queue and such. Does your dd even know how to respond to "excuse me"?

And everyone knows that all children want to play on the busiest piece of equipment, it's practically the law.

she has been to the park multiple times before. I just don’t take her frequently, normally she just runs around the grass and never normally shows interest in the park park

If my son at 7 years old deliberately pushed a baby/toddler by the head, I'd have been absolutely horrified. He may have been running round and not noticed a smaller child but to purposefully push a much younger child like that is really awful.

I fact I think my ds would have been more cautious around a baby/toddler. I think it shows really poor parenting if a child has reached primary school age and not learnt to be gentle around babies and toddlers.

Protected her from harm? What a load of rubbish. If your children are pushing other kids and you don’t know, and neither does the person you’ve left them with, then yes they are inadequately supervised. I personally would trust a teenager so supervise 4 children, I don’t know anybody in the real world that would