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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids at the park

405 replies

Blueb3ll · 10/08/2023 19:42

I specifically went to the park late today so it would be quiet and dd (1.5) could explore. When we turned up we were literally the only people there, but after 15 mins or so a group of kids turned up.

When the kids (4 of them, supervised by a teenager), my dd was playing on the slide. They wanted to use the slide so I moved dd and said “come on let’s use something else”, and I moved her to another part which was one of the ways up to this climbing frame. There were 4 ways to get up to this slide. Two of the kids, the same ones I moved her for, I’d say around 7&5 then decided they wanted to come up and down the part she was playing on. Didn’t say excuse me, didn’t say anything, the seven year old looking boy pushed my child out of the way by her head!!! I said “No, don’t push her”. I wasn’t angry, I was just firm.

The boy then didn’t come back but the 5 year old girl kept coming back and trying to push passed dd not saying excuse me or anything. I looked over at the teenager and she was just sat on her phone. I didn’t move dd but I didn’t stop the girl squeezing passed, I don’t think I had the right to tell the girl no go a different way so I just ignored her and carried on playing with dd.

Am I being unreasonable? I’m new to the children’s park scene but how do I handle situations like this?

I can’t believe that boy pushed my 1 year old by her head! I’m annoyed. Is this normal? I’ve never seen any kids in my family/ friends behave like this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Blueb3ll · 10/08/2023 20:19

GoodChat · 10/08/2023 20:17

@Blueb3ll your child needs to learn that public play equipment is for everyones use - as do you by the sounds of things.

If you want a dedicated baby area, try soft play.

When I already moved her from the spot she was in originally so the kids could have the spot? I think you need to learn comprehension

OP posts:
SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 10/08/2023 20:19

Blueb3ll · 10/08/2023 20:18

Well that’s a shame because I’m not moving my child everytime a 7 year old decides she should move for them. I moved her once for them, those kids need to learn consideration just as much as mine

Show quote history

In which case your child will be pushed and shoved.

Original poster
Blueb3ll · 10/08/2023 20:20

Jamtartforme · 10/08/2023 20:16

They don’t sound like very kind kids to be honest, my preschooler wouldn’t barge someone out of the way, especially not a little one and by the head. I would’ve been firmer - ‘we’re on this part at the moment, you need to go somewhere else’.

You won’t get many nice responses on here OP. People will read your post and think ‘grown woman versus a 5 and 7 year old, must pick the kids side’. But YANBU in my opinion.

Yeah I’m working that out haha, some of these responses are ridiculous

OP posts:
ATerrorofLeftovers · 10/08/2023 20:21

whereaw · 10/08/2023 20:15

I also find that talking to your little one - "look at those big kids, I like her sparkly shoes!" Etc etc does make them more aware/ considerate of you in a nice way, and many bigger kids will almost join in and help little ones . So you can try that, engaging and joining in is always more fun than telling off

Yes, this is a nice approach that often works well for the benefit of all.

GoodChat · 10/08/2023 20:21

When I already moved her from the spot she was in originally so the kids could have the spot? I think you need to learn comprehension

I think you need to learn a bit of common sense. Children dont want to just play on one piece of equipment. They want to run around and use it all. If your child can't play that way yet, find a more age appropriate activity

MeinKraft · 10/08/2023 20:22

GoodChat · 10/08/2023 20:17

@Blueb3ll your child needs to learn that public play equipment is for everyones use - as do you by the sounds of things.

If you want a dedicated baby area, try soft play.

and then get annoyed when the baby bit of soft play is invaded by older kids lol. Used to drive me mad that!

Psychonabike · 10/08/2023 20:22

@Clymene nailed it:

*They're kids in the playground. Playgrounds aren't really designed for 1.5 year olds, they're designed for older children. Your daughter's slow 'exploration' is hogging the equipment.

And they're just little kids. I know they feel massive and unruly and dangerous when you have a PFB but they're overgrown babies really.*

The kids you encountered are playing as kids do.

Your child is very young for park equipment and needs high level supervision, which you provided. Sometimes that does mean asking another child to wait, hold back etc. Providing this supervision and verbally guiding other kids around the very young child you've chosen to add to the scenario, if necessary, is normal and a bit of a non-event really.

So they were poorly supervised by a teen...at their age they require minimal supervision and should be playing independently. It's the person that brings the too young child to the play equipment who needs to focus on their child.

You are behaving as many of us did with our first, you'll get over it. And realise that even the best behaved, most polite 5/7/9 year olds regress like little terrors from time to time, particularly in playparks. It's a place where they play and let off steam.

Original poster
Blueb3ll · 10/08/2023 20:22

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 10/08/2023 20:19

In which case your child will be pushed and shoved.

Show quote history

Hahahaha, get a grip. I don’t fucking think so

OP posts:
GoodChat · 10/08/2023 20:23

@MeinKraft at least there's some recourse as staff can tell them to get out if they get rowdy Grin

MentholLoad · 10/08/2023 20:23

GoodChat · 10/08/2023 20:21

When I already moved her from the spot she was in originally so the kids could have the spot? I think you need to learn comprehension

I think you need to learn a bit of common sense. Children dont want to just play on one piece of equipment. They want to run around and use it all. If your child can't play that way yet, find a more age appropriate activity

soft play is much better for tinies isn't it. I think putting them in the swings is also is a safe bet when there are big kids in the park

Hufflepods · 10/08/2023 20:24

Tell us this is your PFB without telling us 😂

rainbowunicorn · 10/08/2023 20:26

You really aren't coming across as a very nice person. You are getting quite aggressive with people that don't agree with you.
The fact is your 1 year old is too young for most playpark equipment and you can't just decide that other children can't go that way because your 1 year old is stood there.

Original poster
Blueb3ll · 10/08/2023 20:26

Hufflepods · 10/08/2023 20:24

Tell us this is your PFB without telling us 😂

Pfb because I’m annoyed an older child pushed her by her head?
I mean If that doesn’t bother you if it happens to your one year old, okay I guess?

OP posts:
Clymene · 10/08/2023 20:27

OP - AIBU?

Everyone - yes.

OP - you're wrong

MentholLoad · 10/08/2023 20:29

Blueb3ll · 10/08/2023 20:26

Pfb because I’m annoyed an older child pushed her by her head?
I mean If that doesn’t bother you if it happens to your one year old, okay I guess?

Show quote history

I mean, no one is 'ok' with it. but it's going to happen. she will get pushed and shoved, probably bitten and hit etc...because she's a kid and that's what happens

Mamette · 10/08/2023 20:30

Of course it’s not ok for her to be pushed, but people here are giving you advice on how to protect her if you choose to bring her to this environment, and you’re rejecting all the advice.

You seem to think that the other children have some sort of duty of care to your child, they don’t. You need to protect your child, not the other children, or the absent other parents.

Hufflepods · 10/08/2023 20:30

Blueb3ll · 10/08/2023 20:26

Pfb because I’m annoyed an older child pushed her by her head?
I mean If that doesn’t bother you if it happens to your one year old, okay I guess?

Show quote history

I think the pretty much 100% of people are telling you that the 7 year old pushing your child one time was unreasonable but you’re unreasonable for all the other batshit stuff you’re moaning about.

Guiltyfeethavegotnorhythm0 · 10/08/2023 20:31

I do agree with the poster that you chose the wrong time to go , 'going later' is when most older ones will be out playing . And I kind of understand a teen taking younger sibs to the park to go mum five mins peace .
Yeah go early in the morning , that's when i always took mine when they were tiny .

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 10/08/2023 20:31

Ah it’s one of those threads!

OP - am I being unreasonable
Nearly everyone (in a very kind way on this occasion) - yes, a bit
OP - no I’m not!

SoupDragon · 10/08/2023 20:31

Your child was clearly too young for the equipment and was blocking other children from using it as it was clearly intended to be used. You told the boy not to push and he didn't do it again.

One day your child will be the one who is frustrated by someone letting their baby block the play equipment.

PurpleChrayne · 10/08/2023 20:31

I have no qualms about telling other children off quite firmly in situations like this. I don't want my daughter thinking I don't have her back.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 10/08/2023 20:32

Blueb3ll · 10/08/2023 20:22

Hahahaha, get a grip. I don’t fucking think so

Show quote history

Okay...I mean it literally happened today so go ahead, continue to tell me I'm wrong.

thesurreymum · 10/08/2023 20:34

OP you are not in the wrong at all. The park is for everyone and you were safely observing and guiding your LO. I would have been furious if someone purposely pushed my child's head and I would have taken it up with the person caring for them.

My DC are very boisterous 5 & 6 Yr olds but know about taking turns, being polite and respectful to other people.

I witnessed awful rude behaviour today from children of similar age to mine whilst out and no parent in sight at all. In my honest opinion it's down to the parenting. Im not saying mine are angels because they are not my youngest had a long phase of hitting everyone in sight but I watched him and intervened where needed.

Unfortunately though there's nothing you can do about other people's children.

DinnaeFashYersel · 10/08/2023 20:35

If kids are misbehaving and their adult is not around (or not intervening) I tell them off.

TinyTeacher · 10/08/2023 20:37

A 7 year old should DEFINITELÝ know better, especially one that has experience of a younger sibling.

A 5 year old... well they should. But I wouldn't be surprised at having to use a form tome to remind them now and then as they are still quite distractible and occaisionally do daft things when excited. Ideally they would have a parent supervising to be the one using a firm tone.... but that doesn't always happen. Be polite but firm. It usually works with that age.

You will, sadly, get the odd bit of bad behaviour at playgrounds during tb3 summer holidays - people struggle for child care so children are not always well supervised. We had some unpleasant encounters at soft play earlier this week at a place that we frequently enjoy during term time. When you have younger ones that can be easily toppled, you'll get a more reliable good experience during term time, but it still shouldn't put you off going in the holidays, you just have to be vigilant and prepared to be firm.

You sound like you handled it correctly.