Kids at the park

[Blueb3ll]

I specifically went to the park late today so it would be quiet and dd (1.5) could explore. When we turned up we were literally the only people there, but after 15 mins or so a group of kids turned up.

When the kids (4 of them, supervised by a teenager), my dd was playing on the slide. They wanted to use the slide so I moved dd and said “come on let’s use something else”, and I moved her to another part which was one of the ways up to this climbing frame. There were 4 ways to get up to this slide. Two of the kids, the same ones I moved her for, I’d say around 7&5 then decided they wanted to come up and down the part she was playing on. Didn’t say excuse me, didn’t say anything, the seven year old looking boy pushed my child out of the way by her head!!! I said “No, don’t push her”. I wasn’t angry, I was just firm.

The boy then didn’t come back but the 5 year old girl kept coming back and trying to push passed dd not saying excuse me or anything. I looked over at the teenager and she was just sat on her phone. I didn’t move dd but I didn’t stop the girl squeezing passed, I don’t think I had the right to tell the girl no go a different way so I just ignored her and carried on playing with dd.

Am I being unreasonable? I’m new to the children’s park scene but how do I handle situations like this?

I can’t believe that boy pushed my 1 year old by her head! I’m annoyed. Is this normal? I’ve never seen any kids in my family/ friends behave like this.

Wouldn’t

I regularly babysat 4 kids of similar ages as a teen. It's really not the parenting fail you're making it out to be.

ok, have it your way. I've raised my kids, they are perfectly reasonable and functioning people already. youre going to tie yourself in knots stressing and judging everyone else's kids/parenting. good luck to you, I'm out

I agree with you on the pushing but kids get overexcited and the playground is where they go to let off steam and run around. My DC1 is very gentle with their baby sibling and other small children at home and on playdates, but runs wild with kids their own age at the playground and I do have to scoop the baby out of the way sometimes when I've been letting them have a crawl around.

Yes and I totally get the running round and not noticing a tiny one, you see this all the time at soft play especially...but a deliberate push to the head is a bit different I think.

Get used to this sort of thing, it won't stop! Soft play is the worst, I avoid it like the plague.

I agree with you, OP. I've seen some awful behaviour at parks and I don't agree with the sentiment that kids don't know how to say excuse me or wait. Even at parks with toddler equipment, or at soft play with baby areas, I've seen older kids barge the younger ones. Or even throw things at babies in the baby/toddler soft play. I always tell them if I see it and their parents don't - I think someone always correct that behaviour.

I think every single poster has said the 7 year old deliberately pushing the 1 year old was out of order though.

They're kids in the playground. Playgrounds aren't really designed for 1.5 year olds, they're designed for older children. Your daughter's slow 'exploration' is hogging the equipment

Agreed. Although I wouldn't like my baby to get pushed either, you have to be realistic. You do sound quite tense and a bit precious. Wait until your own child is 5!!

The best time to explore a playground with such a young child is in term time OP.

Kids can get a bit wild and over excited in the park(and soft play) , the boy shouldn’t have pushed her but you rightly told him off and he didn’t do it again. Yes he shouldn’t have done it in the first place but this stuff happens and you will soon realise that most kids, even your own will exhibit poor behaviour at one time or another.

I mean I wouldn't want my child's head pushed lets be honest. But I expect a push and shove.

Op, it really does get tougher as they get older. Nursery, parks and soft plays being the worst. Your child will one day be the child who hits etc.

I don't think it's fair to judge who/what/why a teenager is looking after 4 children, you have no idea of their circumstances.

”precious one year old gets knocked”
I think you mean unsupervised 7 year old boy pushed a one year old by her head.

how about teach manners?

Your whole outlook is very PFB and it continues as the thread has gone on. It's going to be a long few years if that's how you're approaching parenting.

Nobody has said it's fine for your child to be pushed, however you seem to think that children who are the target age of the play area should clear the vicinity of anyway you choose to put a 1 year old.

Like I said, I took my children to play parks at a similar age to you, but ultimately the responsibility for my children's safety is ME because I'm their parent and I chose to take them to a play area where it's reasonable that older children (who the equipment is aimed at) will be.

I had to speak to two separate children at the park today about not being very nice.
One smacked my DC around the head, one hand either side, when he said "excuse me".

The other child was sitting at the top of the slide not moving, dc had already climbed up and down twice while waiting and then just stood for a minute before even speaking so not like he was being pushy. The boy stood up, sort of clapped his hands around DCs head and sat back at the top of the slide!!
I said "that was very unkind, can you move please" and his brother (I assume) said "he's just a baby"... he was at least preschool age! I said "he isn't a baby, but even babies should be told when they've not been nice". He just shrugged, I'm guessing he was used to it and hears the same explanation. Makes the lack of supervision even worse though, if it is indeed the normal behaviour.

Actually you seem to think that my child should clear the vicinity of anywhere the 7 year old decides he would like to be?
A whole large sized park and you think after having already moved my 1 year old that I should continue to keep moving her around when it’s a large park and there’s 4 kids?
I was in one small entry point when there is lots more.
Every single other parent I know would have called out to their 7 even year old to be mindful of the baby. The same mindfulness I had when I moved her from the slide so the older kids could have it. It’s only mumsnet that you would have someone reply with, well why was your 1 year old in the park, the 7 year old is entitled to step on any part of the park that he would like, it doesn’t matter that the park is empty he wants that spot your dd is in.
I was keeping her safe but did not anticipate a 7 year old deciding to shove her by the head.
most mums I know, including me, would tell my child to use another entry point there’s a toddler there. I wouldn’t expect another mum to move her one year old multiple times for my child.

Your daughter shouldn't have been pushed. However, YAB a bit U to take her to a park designed for older children in the middle of the school holidays. Take your toddler to a park designed for toddlers, or wait until schools go back and the parks become quieter during the day.

You keep asking if you should move your toddler from wherever the older kids want to play. The answer is yes, because the equipment you chose was not age appropriate for your DD. Just as I happily tell older kids to leave under 5s areas in softplay, so too should younger children leave play areas designed for older children available to use in their entirety.

You have every right to be there, as does the 5 and 7 year olds, so the idea that you don't is silly. It's a public park.

But the point is. Yes the other parents should intervene. But you can't make them. You can't make them do any of the things that you do or that you feel to be important with your children. Because they aren't your children. So you aren't being unreasonable, but the reality is the reality.

You have to work with the children if you want your child to have the best experience possible. That's not necessarily right but it's the only thing you can do. So in my experience being fun and silly - "the baby is lava, don't touch her or you lose the game!" will work in 99.9% of cases. And i will also 'tell children off' when and where necessary, in a kind but firm way that doesn't overstep boundaries. If a child goes too far, and is a danger to themselves or others, I will find and speak to their guardian. But in many years I've only had to do this once.

@Blueb3ll - but they were being looked after by a teenager, not a mum.

And in any event, you can't rely (in my experience) on other parents being really on it when it comes to supervising your child. You can be annoyed but that makes no difference. The only thing you can control is what you let your own kid do. You can't control other children.

I wouldn’t expect another mum to move her one year old multiple times for my child.
I don't expect any parent to be moving children of the target age range because the whole point of play areas is that children have space for free play. I don't expect any adult to be hovering helicopter style to be shouting out instructions into the game on a regular basis, especially not to be on the look out for 1 year olds on behalf of their children.

I do expect parents of 1 year olds (me included when mine were that age) to accept that their toddler is not the target age of the park, which means if it looks like children the park is aimed at start playing like children of that age then it's common sense to remove the 1 year old from the situation.

coverp
I agree with you. I've no issue telling older children who shouldn't be in a toddler soft play area that it's a toddler area/they need to mind the smaller children if they're in with their siblings.
Equally, in areas aimed at older children I don't think it's unreasonable that older children play in a way appropriate for older children.

A whole large sized park and you think after having already moved my 1 year old that I should continue to keep moving her around when it’s a large park and there’s 4 kids?

Yes, if you want to be away from them- because literally the point of the park is for them to be able to run over every bit of it. Your little one putting part of it out of bounds is not really on. If other children aren't interested and just don't come over to the bit yours is on, well then great. But you can't decide that a part of it is "her" bit and that the other children should go a different way.

From the ones who are too inconsiderate to the other extreme, it's always a risk what other children you'll meet at the park.. could equally well be an older one who wants to carry yours around like a doll or eat mud pies together or take them to the top of the climbing frame. But hopefully for every unpleasant encounter there is another where your child makes a friend and has a great time.

The 7yo was obviously well out of order though. Mine would be told off and taken home for pushing another child in the head!!

A whole large sized park and you think after having already moved my 1 year old that I should continue to keep moving her around when it’s a large park and there’s 4 kids?
I was in one small entry point when there is lots more.

Yes, you can't let her block the entries.

You would only ever get this type of reply on mumsnet

No, seriously - go to the park some busy Saturday and you'll see all toddler parents playing this game of helping their little one have fun but keeping them out of the way of the big ones. Highly unlikely you'll see anyone letting their 18 month old sit down on the climbing frame expecting bigger kids to go the other way.

Just like it would be wrong for a 7 year old to hog the only baby swing while an 18 month old wants it.

(I've done that dance a thousand times with mine.)

And it's fine that you're only learning these things on your first, we all do - but it's worth contemplating that the views of experienced parents who've been at playgrounds with both babies and older children pretty much all agree that toddlers shouldn't be getting in the way on equipment designed for older kids.

No one thinks the 7yo was right to push your baby.