Kids at the park

[Blueb3ll]

I specifically went to the park late today so it would be quiet and dd (1.5) could explore. When we turned up we were literally the only people there, but after 15 mins or so a group of kids turned up.

When the kids (4 of them, supervised by a teenager), my dd was playing on the slide. They wanted to use the slide so I moved dd and said “come on let’s use something else”, and I moved her to another part which was one of the ways up to this climbing frame. There were 4 ways to get up to this slide. Two of the kids, the same ones I moved her for, I’d say around 7&5 then decided they wanted to come up and down the part she was playing on. Didn’t say excuse me, didn’t say anything, the seven year old looking boy pushed my child out of the way by her head!!! I said “No, don’t push her”. I wasn’t angry, I was just firm.

The boy then didn’t come back but the 5 year old girl kept coming back and trying to push passed dd not saying excuse me or anything. I looked over at the teenager and she was just sat on her phone. I didn’t move dd but I didn’t stop the girl squeezing passed, I don’t think I had the right to tell the girl no go a different way so I just ignored her and carried on playing with dd.

Am I being unreasonable? I’m new to the children’s park scene but how do I handle situations like this?

I can’t believe that boy pushed my 1 year old by her head! I’m annoyed. Is this normal? I’ve never seen any kids in my family/ friends behave like this.

The bigger children can use the other three sides of the equipment, they don’t need to pick the one side the much younger child is using, and then keep barging into them. It will do them good to learn to be considerate and wait to take their turn. I’d agree with you if the little one was hogging the whole thing for a long time, but that doesn’t sound like the case here.

Sounds like someone had too many children then they can handle them doesn’t it?

@Blueb3ll didn't take long...

You're 18 months in. Give it time.

Agree but also… it’s ok for 5 and 7yos to play in the playground holidays or not, that’s what it’s there for.

You really need to hover beside a 1.5yo old at all times in a public playground imo.

To be honest OP the park equipment probably wasn't designed for a 1 year old. Especially things like climbing frames. It is a bit selfish to be letting your 1 year old get in the way of the kids that itbis intended for.
With regards to your ridiculous comment about a teen looking after younger kids maybe you should stop and think why that is the case.
Probably a mum and dad out working full time trying to juggle 13 weeks school holidays with 28 days holiday each.

at 5 and 7 unsupervised, they will just go up the side that they prefer. they are still learning that they need to be considerate of others

You keep repeating that the 7 yo was a boy - I’m not sure that makes him more culpable than a 7 yo girl

But yes with a baby/ toddler, you need to be right there with them, just telling other kids to mind out if they forget themselves like this. Those kids should have had an adult with them of course but they wouldn’t be expected to be minutely supervising like you would with a 1 yo

“A whole price of equipment”
no, she was on one tiny area which was one of the 4 ways you could get on to the play area.
do you suggest I tell my 1.5 year old “no don’t get comfortable because we have to move everytime those kids decide they want to go on the bit your on”

wtaf?! 🤯

A 5 and 7 year old should know not to push a 1.5 year old by the head. Or push them at all.

But this type of thing is more common than it is not. A firm "No, thank you!" Is my usual response.

Unfortunately, at parks and play parks you do have to do a lot of monitoring of other peoples children. Including stopping them from hurting themselves, as well as others.

Also the equipment probably wasn’t designed for a 1 yo to “explore” I agree. And again, early morning probably a better time than late evening to get a playground free of school aged kids

do you suggest I tell my 1.5 year old “no don’t get comfortable because we have to move everytime those kids decide they want to go on the bit your on”

Well, yes. The play equipment is for everyone to play on. Not for one child to take ownership of and not allow anyone else access to.

Sorry there really is no “I’m playing on this bit, you can’t use this bit” on playground equipment - it’s there to be shared

It’s a public park and this seems pretty typical except the part where your little one was pushed. I don’t think there is anything you can ‘do’ except keep moving her or come to peace with the fact you’ll have to police everyone around her (this is what I did lol) because caregivers are oblivious!

Well yes, quite often they will. Which is why I suggested a bright but firm correction when it happens, up thread.

You think a teenager taking their siblings to the park is a sign that someone has had more children than they can cope with?

I also find that talking to your little one - "look at those big kids, I like her sparkly shoes!" Etc etc does make them more aware/ considerate of you in a nice way, and many bigger kids will almost join in and help little ones . So you can try that, engaging and joining in is always more fun than telling off

How ridiculous. A one year old can’t sit playing with one bit of the equipment, because these kids need access to the entire park at once? That’s teaching those kids good manners isn’t it?

do you suggest I tell my 1.5 year old “no don’t get comfortable because we have to move everytime those kids decide they want to go on the bit your on”

Yes. The equipment isn't designed for babies.

And I agree that early morning is much better if you want to avoid children.

They don’t sound like very kind kids to be honest, my preschooler wouldn’t barge someone out of the way, especially not a little one and by the head. I would’ve been firmer - ‘we’re on this part at the moment, you need to go somewhere else’.

You won’t get many nice responses on here OP. People will read your post and think ‘grown woman versus a 5 and 7 year old, must pick the kids side’. But YANBU in my opinion.

@Blueb3ll your child needs to learn that public play equipment is for everyones use - as do you by the sounds of things.

If you want a dedicated baby area, try soft play.

Well that’s a shame because I’m not moving my child everytime a 7 year old decides she should move for them. I moved her once for them, those kids need to learn consideration just as much as mine

'do you suggest I tell my 1.5 year old “no don’t get comfortable because we have to move everytime those kids decide they want to go on the bit your on”'

Well...yes. If you have a child who is puddling about at say the top of a slide for example, and someone is behind them wanting to go on, it is the etiquette to move your kid along so the next child can have a turn. Even if it's a park full of equipment that's what you do. Mainly because kids all migrate to the same bit for some reason, so instead of spreading themselves across the slide and the swings and the climbing frame they will all congregate round the slide and start pushing each other down it if they aren't going fast enough. Your 1.5 year old will do this too in a few years time.

Ah great, go tell their parents that and they can just get rid of the kids or go back in time and not have them. Problem solved.

You do know that sometimes things happen outside of our control?

Also, supervision and correction by their own parent/grown up they’re with. At that age I wouldn’t expect hovering supervision like with an 18 month old - and I certainly don’t do that with my own 8 year old - but there should be somebody checking frequently and keeping an eye on what they’re doing.

If I see DD barging a much younger child ( has happened in her enthusiasm, she’s no angel!)I will remind her to wait for the little one/go round another way/ say sorry - whatever’s appropriate. I don’t just let her get on with whatever, on the basis she’s only 8. How else will she learn as she grows?! It’s partly in the correction/redirection in these moments that they learn what’s acceptable, how to be considerate of others, etc.