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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So many child haters here

457 replies

Sabrinasummersamples · 10/08/2023 17:59

So many threads on here seem to attract the same sort of answer along the lines of
-In my day we'd have got a smack. Never did me any harm. Give em a clip round the ear.
-kids today are entitled shrieky brats
-kids should stand for adults
-kids shouldn't be allowed in restaurants

Yet often those same posters are the first to call "agism" when people disagree.
Why do so many people hold such contempt for kids?
I mean I know kids can be annoying but honestly you could say that about any group of people. Plus we were all kids once 🤷

OP posts:
SoShallINever · 10/08/2023 19:36

Florissante · 10/08/2023 19:24

That's a better explanation than mine. Thank you.

It's a biscuit, from the time MN asked Gordon Brown what his favourite biscuit was and he thought it was some sort of trick question and refused to comment.
So the biscuit is a "no comment/eye roll" kind of thing.

avocadotofu · 10/08/2023 19:37

I agree OP. I generally see lovely kids behaving in age appropriate ways when out and about.

vibecheck · 10/08/2023 19:38

@Poppysmom22 you said what I was thinking! Completely agree.

Purplebunnie · 10/08/2023 19:40

SoShallINever · 10/08/2023 19:31

I love kids. Esp teenagers. They get a bad press but most are bloody lovely and so much more tolerant than we were in my day.
Just this week I've got lost on a home visit (in NHS uniform) and had 2 young teen lads in hoodies and on bikes ask me if they could help. They whizzed off to find a street for me (concrete jungle of an estate) and came back to give me directions. They then said they were worried about my car so stayed near it until I came back.
Absolute little gems.
Also just today and also on a home visit, I came across a huge gang of teen girls having a water fight. I honestly thought they'd supersoak me as I walked past and they joked that they'd get my car instead as it looked like it needed a good wash!!
I was sat in the car with the wipers on and they were all laughing and firing water at me!
Kids have such a joy for life that adults lack.
They made my day.

Love this! We need a thread dedicated to the great things people experience every day.

LemonLight · 10/08/2023 19:40

I don't think it's kids that people hate, I think it's families who are a nuisance because they don't teach their children how to behave and have no manners themselves that they hate. Which is fair enough imo.

Florissante · 10/08/2023 19:41

SoShallINever · 10/08/2023 19:36

It's a biscuit, from the time MN asked Gordon Brown what his favourite biscuit was and he thought it was some sort of trick question and refused to comment.
So the biscuit is a "no comment/eye roll" kind of thing.

Another excellent explanation. Thank you.

CurlewKate · 10/08/2023 19:41

I don't see any of those-except kids should stand for adults-which I agree with!

Ohhhhhhhhh · 10/08/2023 19:41

I must live in a bubble because I honestly haven't noticed these hoards of badly behaved children running amok in cafes

Mine are young and can struggle to behave like adults (because they are small children) I tend to avoid long trips to the super market and wouldn't take them in a restaurant that wasn't child friendly etc so maybe that's why

Jifmicroliquid · 10/08/2023 19:49

I think I dislike children, then I occasionally meet a well mannered child who I think is wonderful and I immediately remember that it’s not children I hate, it’s the appalling parenting seen in this country.
Children are allowed to run around everywhere, scream and shriek and generally do whatever they want while their pathetic parents sit unconcerned as long as the child isn’t bothering them. If they can’t control their child, they seek a label to justify their poor parenting and then they have a wonderful excuse as to why their child swears at teachers and won’t do as it it’s told. You only have to look on this forum at the threads started and questions that parents come on to ask- stumped as to how to deal with basic behaviour, saying they are going to negotiate with their child when the child really needs an adult to tell them “no, that’s not happening”.
Something had gone wrong somewhere, or the wrong people are breeding.

HauntedPencil · 10/08/2023 19:49

Yes I'm really noticing this - constant threads and even on different threads this whole place is awash with people complaining that kids are being walloped/sat at the table/ giving up their seats/playing outside/shrieking

And if only kids did the above and maybe had a few wallops - none of them would be ND.

And no - I don't really care if people don't like kids and avoid them, this is the constant daily mail style drivel about "modern parenting"

MissJoGrant · 10/08/2023 19:50

BiscuitsandPuffin · 10/08/2023 18:21

There has always been "in my day" types. There's a quote from Plato about the "youth of today" being rubbish. The birthrate is plummeting worldwide. I also think some of the contempt on here is people desperately having to validate their own choice to be childfree. You know, those people who say they're happy but really they aren't. There's quite a lot of childfree people on here. Some are happier than others.

I appreciate your point but that quote is fake:

quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/01/misbehave/?amp=1

HauntedPencil · 10/08/2023 19:51

Jifmicroliquid · 10/08/2023 19:49

I think I dislike children, then I occasionally meet a well mannered child who I think is wonderful and I immediately remember that it’s not children I hate, it’s the appalling parenting seen in this country.
Children are allowed to run around everywhere, scream and shriek and generally do whatever they want while their pathetic parents sit unconcerned as long as the child isn’t bothering them. If they can’t control their child, they seek a label to justify their poor parenting and then they have a wonderful excuse as to why their child swears at teachers and won’t do as it it’s told. You only have to look on this forum at the threads started and questions that parents come on to ask- stumped as to how to deal with basic behaviour, saying they are going to negotiate with their child when the child really needs an adult to tell them “no, that’s not happening”.
Something had gone wrong somewhere, or the wrong people are breeding.

Case in point.

HauntedPencil · 10/08/2023 19:52

LemonLight · 10/08/2023 19:40

I don't think it's kids that people hate, I think it's families who are a nuisance because they don't teach their children how to behave and have no manners themselves that they hate. Which is fair enough imo.

This is subjective though right since on another thread someone is suggesting kids ought to be sat in luggage racks on trains 🥴

Saoirse82 · 10/08/2023 20:09

PetersSpecialCheese · 10/08/2023 18:43

But surely you'd save your own child over anyone else. If you could save your child or your step child wouldn't most people save their own?

I don't have step children but even if I did I couldn't imagine making such a comment.

My kids will never be part of a step family.

egowise · 10/08/2023 20:13

Parents and children can't win.

Kids are either noisy, shrieking and annoying, or sat engrossed in tech not communicating.

Others always have and always will judge parents, or dare I say mothers. Fathers are always just doing their best, aren't they. Bless.

vibecheck · 10/08/2023 20:17

@egowise I mean, those are obviously not the only two options.

HauntedPencil · 10/08/2023 20:18

I know and most of the people moaning sound spoiled and selfish and very intolerant - I think the kids they encounter are in all probability nicer than they are.

HauntedPencil · 10/08/2023 20:19

If we are hankering for years gone by we would all just play out in groups and you can bet that would set them off too.

AffIt · 10/08/2023 20:24

I'll be honest, I'm not mad about children (on a population level: obviously I have personally met the odd one or two I don't mind).

As a childfree by choice person, that's fine: I don't spend my days hanging about playgrounds or Hungry Horses or anything.

I am quite fond of teenagers, though, as they are of me, and I am often called upon by parent friends to negotiate: I'm like the United Nations of parent / teen relationships.

labamba007 · 10/08/2023 20:26

Livinginanotherworld · 10/08/2023 18:08

Trouble is……most kids today are entitled brats, undisciplined and noisy. Parents don’t parent anymore. It’s gone steadily down hill over the last few years and after covid, any primary teacher will tell you, kids are feral.

It really isn't most kids. A small minority of parents don't parent their children. It simply feels like it's the majority because those few are extremely irritating (the parents, not the children's fault).

Jamtartforme · 10/08/2023 20:26

Yellowlegobrick · 10/08/2023 18:07

I do think "gentle parenting" has also given rise to more children who aren't very obedient as well though. They can't follow an instruction without it being explained or do anything they don't like when told without distractions and rewards and what have you.

I agree. I tried the whole ‘choices’ thing with my preschooler but it added an extra needless step into everything I did, and actually encouraged her to find fault with things by comparing cups/t shirts/shoes all the time. For example ‘I want the green cup’ became ‘i don’t like the blue one’ which then meant the blue one had to be retired as she would refuse it. If I’d never given her the choice she wouldn’t have realised she ‘didn’t like’ the blue cup and would’ve drank from whatever one I gave her. Which meant I was hunting for the bloody green cup every time I made a drink, rather than just making it.

dottydoglover · 10/08/2023 20:29

I think it's because there are lots (not all) of children that aren't disciplined - have no idea about boundaries and are just a general nuisance.. running around shops and bumping into people, shrieking etc .. a sad indictment of our times down to bad parenting and parents always feeling they have to be their child's best friend.

HauntedPencil · 10/08/2023 20:29

I can't take anyone seriously that says things like "entitled brats" honestly what's wrong with people.

Of course in the day to day course of life you come across kids that get on your nerves and might be loud - you are getting a snapshot.

It's just hitting demented levels ar the minute.

People will be wanging on about broken Britain soon

HauntedPencil · 10/08/2023 20:29

dottydoglover · 10/08/2023 20:29

I think it's because there are lots (not all) of children that aren't disciplined - have no idea about boundaries and are just a general nuisance.. running around shops and bumping into people, shrieking etc .. a sad indictment of our times down to bad parenting and parents always feeling they have to be their child's best friend.

Again this is just nonsense isn't it? Absolute bobbins

CloudyMcCloud · 10/08/2023 20:31

HauntedPencil · 10/08/2023 20:29

I can't take anyone seriously that says things like "entitled brats" honestly what's wrong with people.

Of course in the day to day course of life you come across kids that get on your nerves and might be loud - you are getting a snapshot.

It's just hitting demented levels ar the minute.

People will be wanging on about broken Britain soon

It has become a thing on here, going on about how much you hate children