So many child haters here

[Sabrinasummersamples]

So many threads on here seem to attract the same sort of answer along the lines of
-In my day we'd have got a smack. Never did me any harm. Give em a clip round the ear.
-kids today are entitled shrieky brats
-kids should stand for adults
-kids shouldn't be allowed in restaurants

Yet often those same posters are the first to call "agism" when people disagree.
Why do so many people hold such contempt for kids?
I mean I know kids can be annoying but honestly you could say that about any group of people. Plus we were all kids once 🤷

Totally agree. People seem to have no patience for kids. & of course they did it better ‘in their day.’ 🤥 sure.

But surely you'd save your own child over anyone else. If you could save your child or your step child wouldn't most people save their own?

I like dc’ friends. I mean not for loads of time but just in general interactions

I don't think children should be smacked.
I do think some parents interpretation of contemporary parenting styles has resulted in some children becoming very entitled.
I'm happy for children to be in restaurants but think their parents should manage their behaviour so they don't spoil the experience for other people.
I do think children should stand for adults.
I do think MN can be very ageist.
I don't hate children. I do get irritated at parents who allow them to cause a nuisance. That's not the children's fault.

LOL

I know all children have their moments. However the gentle parenting trend doesn't help those of us who have a slightly more robust attitude to bad behaviour. The "desist Joshua - please!" approach I think is worse than the bratty behaviour, which let's face it is a development stage.

It’s not kids that anyone has a problem with, it’s bad behaviour and parents that don’t deal with it that people don’t like.

Amen sister 😁

This is primarily a parenting forum and most posters are parents. It’s not really surprising that there is a larger than average amount of annoyance towards children that aren’t parented I suppose.
That said, I haven’t seen a lot of this if I’m honest.

Agree OP. People have no patience. Non parents or those that parented a long time ago maybe don't appreciate that kids can be well brought up and polite etc. most of the time but might act up in an unusual environment or when over-tired. Perfectly normal and not much you can do about it as a parent if you don't see it coming. Should that mean they are kept out of every public situation just in case they end up annoying someone enjoying their cappuccino? Of course not, people forget kids have the same right to be there as them. There's a very odd attitude towards kids and parents in the UK which completely ignores the fact that we would all meet horrible ends if people stopped having kids. Folk seem so focussed on themselves and the "now", without any foresight. Kids are the future, including our future - whether folk like it or not. But heaven forbid a child acts like a child in a public place! It's sad.

I do think children should stand for adults.

On what basis? I don't mean elderly here, but are you actually saying on a fast moving train, you'd expect a 6 year old to stand to give a seat to a healthy 40 year old? Why?

I’m childfree by choice and I certainly don’t hate children.

I do, however, strongly dislike & disapprove of parents who have raised spoiled brats, who don’t teach their children how to behave in public, who don’t insist on basic good manners, who never say ‘no’ to them and who allow them to run riot, scream & cause a nuisance to others.

I agree and it's so weird and tedious.

I really like children, I have 4 and surround myself with other people's - adore children's parties and having friends over etc. But I do find a lot of children are quite badly behaved in public - stuff like throwing sand, general squealing "just because" (ie not on a ride at a funfair), leaving a mess and running around during meals. I think a lot of parents are extremely stressed and exhausted a lot of the time, so it's anything for five moments of peace. I don't blame them really, our lifestyles and work-life balance are generally shockingly poor in this country.

It’s not about children acting up, all children act up at some time, it’s about what happens when they do. There are some times when you know your DC has reached their limit and you have to just pack up and go.

Having children forces a family to accomodate them and sacrifice their own wishes to ensure the needs of the child is met. This can mean tolerating a bit more noise etc

I think most parents would admit that they’re only tolerant of their own children’s noise, not anybody else’s child’s noise. Same as childfree folks in that regard.

Since the CF board got established I’ve noticed a concerted effort to try and argue that we’re turning MN into a hive of child-hating. Most of the people on the threads OP is talking about are parents - their comments are accompanied with statements like “my DC were taught better” and so on.

I don’t disagree that we’re all getting more individualistic but that includes parents, whose selflessness is a desire to protect and prioritise their own offspring, not a new and loving attitude towards all kids.

This is about disengaged parents. It’s not about the children.

I think it's worth noting that social situations have changed which now mean children are more visible than before - for example I remember as a child, children weren't allowed into the bar area of pubs, so often children were dumped outside (in the play area if you were lucky) or in the family room whilst the parents went inside. So no children at all inside - now they can, so those wanting a quiet pint aren't going to be in a child-free place like their parents would have been. That's not children's fault, it's a change in regs that has made pubs more family-friendly. But it means children are more visible, & their behaviour is on show.

Plus in generations gone by most discipline was based around either the threat of, or actual physical punishment. Parents obviously can't do that now (rightly) but we're having to raise children & discipline in a completely different way to how we were raised. This is challenging to say the least, & as another PP has said has gone too far in the other direction now with some forms of parenting.

I agree. As a parent I notice most people who complain people don't like kids have a child or children they allow to run riot.

You might not but plenty do. Admittedly I wouldn’t be helping any person with vomiting but I have helped people entertain children in the past where I’ve seen that they could use some support. It’s just basic empathy, which you don’t need to be a parent to possess.

I don't hate children at all, far from it.

But I am fairly indifferent to them generically. I love a handful (including my own), am not fussed about most and actively dislike the ones that make a lot of noise and mess that impinges on my life or if they are badly behaved.

There is a subset of women who absolutely adore children in the same way some people adore cats or dogs, but I don't think all of us are always moved by them (other than our own) and that's fine. Children are just adult young and they are as different as adults.

I do think that some people expect women to love children by default and are sometimes taken aback that a lot of us (including those with our own children) can take them or leave them. It offends some people's sense of how women are supposed to behave.

I believe they need to be loved by their parents, educated and respected and guided. But I don't feel any particular affection for them on the basis that they are children.

I don’t have contempt for kids in general. I do have contempt for people who think their kids’ wish to run around screaming being rude and disruptive is more important than anyone else’s comfort and peace. I don’t have contempt for kids, but I have contempt for parents who think their kids’ every whim should be prioritised by everyone else, and are essentially teaching their kids to be self-centred egomaniacs.

I also don’t like kids who behave in ways that are selfish or unkind.

For example, when I’m in my local park I like the kids who are enjoying watching/feeding all the geese at the edge of the lake. I don’t like the kids who run into flocks of geese and goslings swinging a stick at them and then laugh when they scatter and the mother geese are distressed, because those kids are being obnoxious little shits.

Agreed.

I think shrieking is this years flip a drink bottle.

My kids have never been screamers and would have got a stern telling off about being bloody obnoxious if they did that in public.

The sounds fills me with rage! How do their parents just ignore it?!