So many child haters here

[Sabrinasummersamples]

So many threads on here seem to attract the same sort of answer along the lines of
-In my day we'd have got a smack. Never did me any harm. Give em a clip round the ear.
-kids today are entitled shrieky brats
-kids should stand for adults
-kids shouldn't be allowed in restaurants

Yet often those same posters are the first to call "agism" when people disagree.
Why do so many people hold such contempt for kids?
I mean I know kids can be annoying but honestly you could say that about any group of people. Plus we were all kids once 🤷

That's all MN seem to think.

@HauntedPencil you seem so upset by this and defensive, are you genuinely saying there are no badly behaved children? You have never seen a child behaving badly in public? Have never heard a story from a teacher about a child in their class being disruptive or rude or violent? It seems as though you’re saying all parents and children are beyond reproach.

Just this month on here I've seen children described as ghastly, little shits, they stink, whiney, annoying, fucking irritating - any other group of people and we wouldn't say it, but apparently it's okay to say it about children.

I just think it's seen as cool to not like kids.

Okay, some can be annoying but I much prefer their honesty over some self righteous, bitchy, two-faced, scheming, wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire adults I know 🤷‍♀️

@haunted pencil - I can only go one what I see.. not all children just some of them .. glad I'm not bringing children up in this day and age.. I don't hate them just an observation 😀

What and this has only happened recently? Of course I'm not, or have not said, there are no badly behaved children, or indeed that mine don't behave badly at times.

Every single thread I've been on lately has people saying all manner of obnoxious ridiculous crap though and it's bloody tiresome.

Kids are no worse than they used to be. I wonder if lockdown has made people way more intolerant.

I don't like children. I don't like their energy - the frequency they vibrate at. I prefer to avoid their company. I don't like how rude they are and how often unkind. I know this isn't blameworthy, I just don't like it.

I didn't like kids when I was one.

@labamba007 but you’ve just spoken like that about a group of people? And many on this thread (and others) have spoken disparagingly and aggressively about old people (or “boomers” as most have called them on this thread!) and I see people on Mumsnet say awful things about transgender people all the time. So “any other group of people and we wouldn't say it” is just not true.
I personally don’t think it’s nice or polite to speak that way about anyone, but plenty of people do it about not just children.

People don't hate children. Just this total nonsense that they can do no wrong, or having an excuse for every inch of poor parenting.

There's no need to bring back corporal punishment, or to be screaming at them all the time, but there is definitely a need for boundaries enforced by parents.

For too many parents, gentle parenting means no parenting at all, so instead of encouraging confident children they're creating self-centered little tyrants.

The way I see it is that children are adults in training. They’ll be adults far longer than they will be children, so they need to learn in an age appropriate way how to flourish in society (because let’s face it unless they go off grid they will need to).

I want my children to be able to make career choices that suit them and find making friends and getting along with people easy. Extreme individualism hampers this, far from ‘setting them free as their true selves’ it restricts them by breeding a person who is intolerant, set in their ways, unable to suck up things they don’t like (essential in both work and life), and frankly a bit intense.

It’s all very well raising your children to be ‘free spirited wildlings’, but it simply won’t serve them very well in the long run. They’ll find studying, work and getting along with a broad spectrum of people difficult as they’ve been taught that their feelings are always justified and the penultimate ones, and that they should have full control over their lives at all times when in reality we all have to submit to our manager/the taxman/authority. They’ll feel deep injustice at things other people can just shrug their shoulders at and move on from, and that doesn’t make for a happy or relaxed life.

That’s my view anyway

@HauntedPencil I don’t think that’s true - my brother in law and best friend are both primary school teachers - one for 15 years, one for 7. They’ve both said behaviour has declined significantly. I see teachers on here and in other places saying the same thing. I also think that children are in a lot more adult spaces then they used to be - my Mum and her sisters used to be left at home whilst her parents went to the pub on Sunday evenings, whereas now most pubs I go in have children in. I don’t think children should be discouraged from adult spaces at all - it’s how they learn to behave in them - but a parent needs to make sure they’re teaching them and modelling good behaviour in those spaces.

Sorry that was a bit off piste, just replying to the posts saying children are harder to tolerate because of the way they’re being patented now

Lots of people on here are ignorant to special educational needs. Apparently in a money starved health system doctors love to hand out diagnoses which means more cost to the taxpayer willy nilly. It's such a huge battle to get any diagnosis and any support, but hey, we are all lying apparently and it's just a cover for our bad parenting.

It's definitely not the miseable old hag Mnetter being judgemental when they know fuck all about the child's needs and have long forgotten how hard parenting is (and is probably the subject matter of another popular MN topic - narcisstic mothers!)

Over some adults I know is most certainly not the same as saying something like, 'I fucking hate children' which is super common. And people hate children just because they're children. I dislike some adults because of their behaviour- like bigotry, for example.

People that have so much to say about other peoples "parenting" confuse me. How do you know what other people are doing? What makes you think you did any better? It's pretty rare to see kids going feral and someone making no effort to stop them. It's certainly not happening around here:

Kids are little people so some are great and some are bloody horrible. Same as any other age group really. I think people get annoyed when they are misbehaving and there is no consideration for others, no attempt to even try and parent them.I generally enjoy the company of kids, I love the innocence and how funny they can be.

I see OP hasn't returned

People that have so much to say about other peoples "parenting" confuse me. How do you know what other people are doing? What makes you think you did any better? It's pretty rare to see kids going feral and someone making no effort to stop them. It's certainly not happening around here:

Probably from being involved with other people? Seeing them on a daily basis? Watching other parents do nothing when their child is doing something unacceptable.

People who use abusive language about children, or are child phobic should be banned from all public spaces and undergo intensive rehabilitation therapy.

I've never seen anyone advocate smacking on MN; I think you're making this up.

Your comment reminds me of a few years ago when I phoned the Head of our local High School and said I had travelled on the 3.30 bus. He immediately said Oh shit, what've they done now??, he then apologised but when I said I just wanted to say how they had been, chatty and a bit loud but generally wwere very well behaved and a credit to their school. He was astounded, no-one had ever called to say something good about them, 'I wish I could hug you, thank you'.

It's similar to the ways MILs and husbands are represented here - people only post when there's an issue so you don't hear about harmonious family relationships.

We also never get the viewpoint of the MIL or the husband, the poster's version is treated as gospel, I've often thought I would hate to have MNers on the jury were I to be on trial!

When I was a kid, there were still little shits and if anything they were far worse. A couple of kids burned their houses down. My partner's brother almost did. They knocked on doors and ran off, trashed people's gardens and pinched stuff. Same stuff kids do today.

I think the only difference now is parents want to spend more time with their kids and are in adult spaces more, so older people will whine about it, but they were the same parents who left kids at home by themselves, or being looked after by another child and didn't want them socialising with them. Going for a meal was more of an adults thing when I was a kid. I guess it's different attitudes across generations maybe. I think people need to accept that times have changed and parents like to have their kids with them when they go out and that parents are not going to keep their disabled children indoors just because it suits another ignorant miserable bastard.

I don't think it's about hating kids, I certainly don't hate them (even badly behaved ones) but I've noticed a learned helplessness amongst parents these days that, in their heads, absolves them from any responsibility they may have to direct their child up behave appropriately.

I work in a school and the number of parents that will honestly just tell me their child will refuse a particular sanction the following day is astounding. I like to give them the heads up so they can have a conversation with them, or bring them in so we can discuss it together but the over riding attitude is 'good luck with that, they'll refuse'...

How many times do we hear that schools need to include more life skills within the curriculum because young adults are lacking them? Or that because of COVID lockdowns our young people lack social skills?

Parents are scared to take responsibility because that means confronting their children and it's too in vogue to be on their children's side, arguing that they have rights or that school are wrong (or my very favourite, picking on them). A lot of parents are scared to parent, and that just produces children who feel entitled to behave however they want, they're being taught that at home so no wonder they're acting out when other adults try to intervene. My favourite analogy to them, and their parents, is that I'd rather be having the battle with them about uniform/behaviour/detentions/consequences in a safe environment than see them being put in the back of a police car in town on a Saturday afternoon/evening when they try to pull that anti social behaviour.

The truth is that we'd just all like to co exist, be polite and respectful and get along. If boundaries aren't imposed from a very young age when children begin to socialise independently you may as well piss in the wind. Then come back to a parenting forum when they're 14/15 and you're struggling to get them to be polite and respectful, let along understand actions and their consequences.

We would go out on our own all day playing in groups - I bet that would be described as "feral roaming screeching brat" carry on now.

I take mine for meals - but there are way more "family" type eating pubs now. I wouldn't take my kids for a pint or to a restaurant in town late in the evening. We are easy to avoid