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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So many child haters here

457 replies

Sabrinasummersamples · 10/08/2023 17:59

So many threads on here seem to attract the same sort of answer along the lines of
-In my day we'd have got a smack. Never did me any harm. Give em a clip round the ear.
-kids today are entitled shrieky brats
-kids should stand for adults
-kids shouldn't be allowed in restaurants

Yet often those same posters are the first to call "agism" when people disagree.
Why do so many people hold such contempt for kids?
I mean I know kids can be annoying but honestly you could say that about any group of people. Plus we were all kids once 🤷

OP posts:
eatdrinkandbemerry · 10/08/2023 19:08

Kids are like farts
You can tolerate your own 🙊😂

Sheepsheepie · 10/08/2023 19:08

@Florissante off topic what does the flower / pineapple icon mean? I’ve seen it a few times but have no idea what it is

MsAGog · 10/08/2023 19:10

I don't hate kids but they need to be on their parents lap. It's just had manners to leave your child to hog seats.

CrackerAndPudding · 10/08/2023 19:14

Sheepsheepie · 10/08/2023 19:08

@Florissante off topic what does the flower / pineapple icon mean? I’ve seen it a few times but have no idea what it is

It's a jammy dodger, and I can't speak for Florissante's intentions but usually is used to indicate the poster has said something that makes them sound like an absolute tit

5128gap · 10/08/2023 19:15

Yellowlegobrick · 10/08/2023 18:49

I do think children should stand for adults.

On what basis? I don't mean elderly here, but are you actually saying on a fast moving train, you'd expect a 6 year old to stand to give a seat to a healthy 40 year old? Why?

If the child is so young its unsafe for them to stand then no. I'm not putting an arbitrary age on that such as 6, as it would vary widely amongst children.
I think a healthy child who can safely stand should not sit while an adult stands. Just as if we had guests and there weren't enough chairs I wouldn't expect adults (whether guests or family) to sit on the floor while the children had the sofa. Or for schools to make the chairs around the assembly hall first come first served and any late arriving teacher sit on the floor because a child was in the chair.
There are some privileges adults enjoy over children. Children will gain them themselves in the fullness of time. If a parent feels strongly their child has exactly the same entitlement as an adult to a seat, they can always stand themselves and let their child have their seat.

Ylvamoon · 10/08/2023 19:17

eatdrinkandbemerry · 10/08/2023 19:08

Kids are like farts
You can tolerate your own 🙊😂

You summed it up nicely!

readingismycardio · 10/08/2023 19:18

PetersSpecialCheese · 10/08/2023 18:14

I don't hate children.

I just don't care to spend time around poorly parented, badly behaved children.

Came here to say exactly this!

gogomoto · 10/08/2023 19:21

Hate is an exaggeration but I do as the parent of two young adults see that the latest crop of parents seem to be a lot more entitled, they seem to think they can inflict their children's poor behaviour on others in a way that simply didn't happen 20 years ago. To the point our local pub has had to ban children unless seated with an adult due to children running around making it unpleasant for everyone else tripping people up etc. (they don't serve food so these children have been brought so their parents can drink!)

KnittedCardi · 10/08/2023 19:23

Children in other countries may well be indulged and included, however in those cultures there is generally also an accepted hierarchy of deference and respect for elders. Sadly, I think we have lost that somewhere along the way. I like kids, I have two, but they are, and have always been respectful of others.

Florissante · 10/08/2023 19:23

Sheepsheepie · 10/08/2023 19:08

@Florissante off topic what does the flower / pineapple icon mean? I’ve seen it a few times but have no idea what it is

It's a biscuit. Difficult to explain in a short post (I don't write long posts) but I use it to mean that I don't think much of the post.

Daphnis156 · 10/08/2023 19:23

Why do some parents think other people have to, or should like their children?
I prefer not to be near children because of the noise, the fuss, and the mess.

Florissante · 10/08/2023 19:24

CrackerAndPudding · 10/08/2023 19:14

It's a jammy dodger, and I can't speak for Florissante's intentions but usually is used to indicate the poster has said something that makes them sound like an absolute tit

Show quote history

That's a better explanation than mine. Thank you.

honeybonbon · 10/08/2023 19:27

This reply has been deleted

This user is a troll so we have deleted their posts and threads.

readbooksdrinktea · 10/08/2023 19:28

I don't hate children. I hate that so many parents can't be arsed to enforce some boundaries. It isn't the children's fault that they're growing up entitled and allowed to run amok in restaurants etc. It's down to the parents. It is very annoying though.

user9630721458 · 10/08/2023 19:28

People who hate kids are just miserable, unfulfilled and unloved. Probably jealous that kids are still hopeful, happy and have their lives ahead of them.

User3253625 · 10/08/2023 19:29

Well going by MN standards, every second child has some kind of special need so it's taboo to complain about behaviour that is the result of stimming, ASD/ADHD, neurodivergencies etc. Adding to the fact that parents of ND children tend to be ND themselves so they may be overwhelmed by the situation or not be able to gauge what is acceptable behaviour within a specific social context.

It's only politically correct to complain about bratty, badly-behaved but neurotypical children with NT parents. Good luck identifying that in public?!

gogomoto · 10/08/2023 19:29

And how about littering, was on the beach and the kids on the next table just got up and left their rubbish, these are public tables not in a cafe, the parents didn't tell them to go back and fetch it, it then flew off ... more plastic for the ocean! Parents need to instruct their children on good and proper behaviour, it's called parenting! I really don't think I can cope with that town, so infuriating (it's close to me but so different, even if they have a Dunelm Grin)

Poppysmom22 · 10/08/2023 19:30

I don't think it's that people the kids per se. I think it more of they hate the checked out wishy washy excuse that some people call parenting. I object to the the following -
children running around restaurants - you only want to see a child scalded down the face and chest with custard once take my word for it it scars for life. If your child cannot sit nicely with a toy or colouring book for the duration of a meal then they aren't ready for that situation.
Screeching is not a form of communication unless you are a dolphin.
Ripping plants up and swinging on branches till they break not ok.
Sitting on your phone while your child climbs over the rail and onto the car park is not ok.
Alot of the 'bad' behaviour stems from kids being put into environments they can cope with they are bored or over stimulated and the parents don't want to deal in public. It's not the kids fault this is on you parents

SoShallINever · 10/08/2023 19:31

I love kids. Esp teenagers. They get a bad press but most are bloody lovely and so much more tolerant than we were in my day.
Just this week I've got lost on a home visit (in NHS uniform) and had 2 young teen lads in hoodies and on bikes ask me if they could help. They whizzed off to find a street for me (concrete jungle of an estate) and came back to give me directions. They then said they were worried about my car so stayed near it until I came back.
Absolute little gems.
Also just today and also on a home visit, I came across a huge gang of teen girls having a water fight. I honestly thought they'd supersoak me as I walked past and they joked that they'd get my car instead as it looked like it needed a good wash!!
I was sat in the car with the wipers on and they were all laughing and firing water at me!
Kids have such a joy for life that adults lack.
They made my day.

user9630721458 · 10/08/2023 19:34

@SoShallINever Bless 'em. Lovely post.

vibecheck · 10/08/2023 19:34

I think it’s parents I have low tolerance for. So many I come across in daily life and in my job are unbelievably selfish with regards to child raising, and unfortunately it means their children are unpleasant to be around. There has to be a balance between the stereotypical Victorian style parenting and this “gentle” thing people do now, which I can’t see does children or anyone else in society many favours.

LolaSmiles · 10/08/2023 19:35

I don't hate children.

I just don't care to spend time around poorly parented, badly behaved children

Same here.

My issue is with the parents who think it's ok to allow/promote by allowing:

  • excessive shrieking/screaming/shouting for the location
  • iPads/tablets/devices on loud in cages or other spaces (do what you like as a parenting choice, but get your kid some headphones)
  • kids to charge around public spaces eg shops, restaurants
  • terrible manners / yelling / no pleases and thank yous
  • snatching, pushing, shoving
Etc.

People don't have well-behaved and well-mannered children by accident. It takes time to teach them what's expected, give them smaller, less-stressful situations to try it out, and guidance when they don't get it right.

SomewhereWithSomeone · 10/08/2023 19:35

There does seem to be a lot of posters that don’t like children, possibly an increase in them lately. They all seem to live near shrieking children.

I like children. Then again I like dogs as well so I’m probably an anomaly on here. 😬

Mrkipplingslice · 10/08/2023 19:36

Different parenting styles leading to a different generation of kids. Ultimately many parents now are burnt out both working full time and access to screens etc is much easier