So many child haters here

[Sabrinasummersamples]

So many threads on here seem to attract the same sort of answer along the lines of
-In my day we'd have got a smack. Never did me any harm. Give em a clip round the ear.
-kids today are entitled shrieky brats
-kids should stand for adults
-kids shouldn't be allowed in restaurants

Yet often those same posters are the first to call "agism" when people disagree.
Why do so many people hold such contempt for kids?
I mean I know kids can be annoying but honestly you could say that about any group of people. Plus we were all kids once 🤷

you are replying to a post I made to another poster and accusing me of unhealthily engaging with you

I wasn't even responding to you 🙄

I didn’t say anything about a crying child hurting themselves and not having sympathy…not quite sure where that came from! Re read what I actually did write and keep it in context .
A distressed child is very different from a badly behaved child 🙄
Can now see that grammar police are now piling in ,so absolutely no point in trying to have a sensible discussion.

Because this website is full of miserable older women that seem to think they parented better than parents today (Spoiler Alert: You didn't. My generation was brought up by their generation and I don't think I have one acquaintance that doesn't have mental health issues as a result of their upbringing by that generation).

They sit being miserable all day and think the world should tiptoe around them, including children.

If they bother you (general you, not aimed at the op) so much, you stay in and stew about it whilst patting yourself on the back over how much better you were as a parent and let the rest of us get on with it.

Oh, now I'll be accused of being agist! 😭🙄

I disagree, I think they did parent better. Sorry!

I don't think your comments were bad because I can't have children. That's was along the lines of "hysterical emotional woman" though, good cliche there

Seriously! Have you ever watched the carnage of the school run!

Having children only appears to make you care about your own children, not anyone else’s or any other people.

I don’t enjoy being around badly behaved children, there are friends that we never visit because their children have been brought up to be kings of the world! They are not, sadly they aren’t even that bright, although their parents think they should be the next Einstein.

I blame the parents entirely for badly behaved children, then there are the parents who constantly pull the autism/adhd card….having these conditions does not make a child a monster, I know parents of children with these conditions….a couple actually diagnosed and their parents manage them really well, others who are “self diagnosed “…no just non parenting and parents who wants to be friends rather than parents!

what generation tho? I'm 40s, my kids are in school with kids whos parents are in their 20s. The parents who parented us are likely not in the same generation. So did my parents parent better (80s) or was it actually their parents (60s)?
And if they were such amazing parents and raised such good children, who are their children doing such a shit job (apparently) raising the "better-parents" grandkids?

Most of the difference seems to be benign neglect and physical abuse. Kids being allowed to play out in the street, left home alone, left in the car, acceptable to smack children for anything they did wrong. How is that better parenting?

It was more than one poster because it went from stepping over, to stepping on to using them as a human shield and other posters agreeing they would too. Yes some posters disagreed, but some agreed. Therefore it's not all childfree or childless people who 'hate kids', it's some people who may be childfree, childless, parents or step parents. People from various groups say they hate kids, say horrible things about kids, call them names and in real life it's parents and step parents who abuse and murder their children, maybe we should do something about that rather than about people's thoughts and words.

I find that an utterly pathetic comparison. I never took out my grief on pregnant women when I had miscarriages. I was wondering why you kept obsessively engaging then it became apparent.

Jesus Christ. What is wrong with you??

Are you seriously suggesting a poster is disagreeing with you because you're pregnant and they have said they're experiencing infertility?

Very creepily, I came off of here and went on Facebook and the first post I saw was a woman with one child complaining about children which starts 'I can't stand children' and goes on for a couple of paragraphs about why. Then ends with saying her child isn't like that though 😂

Let's not forget the chip on my shoulder from mentioning being abused

But apparently this is someone who is going to be a much better mother than a peak English mumsy like you...

I know who I would prefer to spend time with after this thread!

To be fair this kind of rhetoric is quite trendy at the moment.

It is! Im not sure why…Lots of my friends talk about how they can't cope with their children without wine and even more who dread play dates and soft play and similar because they hate children. I don't hate children but lots of people hate stuff I like and like stuff I hate so I don't judge those who do. I can see where a lot of people are coming from when they work hard to raise their children well and yet have to 'put up with' the children who aren't parented properly, especially on play dates! So I do agree with the people who say it's not really the 'badly behaved' children they hate it's the rubbish parents. It's a shame for the children who aren't raised well though, how many times do we read on here threads such as 'is it OK to leave on child out of my child's birthday party' and it's because of their behaviour.

The way some mums on MN talk about how they couldn't wait to get back to work after maternity leave and how they realised looking after a baby all day just wasn't for them, makes me really sad.
I get some women have no choice, but to go back because you don't like being with your precious baby is hideous in my opinion.
Why have a baby in the first place and what on earth did they expect?
I loved that precious time I had with my babies they were the best years of my life.

Because everybody is different? Because your DC is your precious baby and another mother needs a break from being at home with the baby, do you think your child will be raised better? Happier? Loved more?

Because sensible women don't see it merely as having a baby, but as having and raising a child. Parenting is a long game and having a baby is but one tiny stage in that. Not all women enjoy or have a particular aptitude for that stage but can excel at others.
Mums who find the days with a baby tedious and under stimulating often come into their own in the school or teen years. Right about the time many of the 'precious baby' mums are mourning the passing of time, feeling devastated that their child is becoming independent and struggling with the transition.
Personally I think its a bit off (I'd not be so dramatic or rude as to describe another woman's view as 'hideous') that nothing your children have offered you, and no experience you've had with them as growing people with opinions and insights to share, has been able to compare with their dependent baby selves.

Or maybe it’s just that they’re old enough to know better? 🙄

Wow this is harsh
And a load of rubbish

Why are child free adults being dragged into this? Just above your post is this :

“have 2 adult dcs and actively avoid anywhere where there could be kids. Really can't stand them”

Most of the people criticising children are parents. My friend has 4 children and dotes on them but proudly admits to not liking other peoples kids.

Exactly this. In a lot of cases people having kids actually makes them incredibly insular which is understandable to an extent but it sometimes leads to them seeing their kids through rose tinted glasses and seeing all other kids as the problem.
My friend declared her kids didn’t ever cry but other kids were so whiny WHILE her kids were crying because they wanted out their pushchairs 🤯 I think at the time I was even too stunned to point out the obvious

aw that is lovely, I also enjoy interactions with kids and teens.

I used to live in Asia and I remember having an awful day and feeling grumpy going back to my little studio flat. A bunch of tweens (girls) were going by on their bike and one pointed at me and shouted “beautiful” and the whole group nodded and echoed it.

It was like they knew I needed cheering up so mustered up their best English for the tired grumpy looking foreigner haha it really put a smile on my face!

@5128gap

I've been a mother for 18 years. I go travelling with my daughters and without them , I have many many years of happy memories not just in the baby years.
I've always worked around them so have never missed out on anything. When I became a mum I did it to enjoy the full experience from baby to adulthood and that's exactly what I've done.
My eldest daughter has her own life now, own business, friends etc
Just because I was there for her when she was baby doesn't mean I'm this scattered messy women who can't let go. I have always actively encouraged my daughters to be independent and they have succeeded in doing so.

There is no shame in being a sahm and wanting to be with your baby.
Being a parent isn't a 'pick an option' that best suits you. You give birth and your job is to look after your baby, you don't get to pay someone else to do it just because you think 'oh it's not for me' that's just wrong. And as far as I'm concerned you bail out then, then you've failed at the first hurdle.

@ChristmasCrumpet

Yes I do to be quite honest.
I've worked in nurseries and to be Frank a lot of the parents were rubbish. More interested in their friends and career then how their baby was fairing stuck in a crèche all day.
Cognitive dissonance is what it is.
You can't say a mother who drops her 4 month old baby to a big overcrowded crèche everyday because she'd rather go and work at the insurance company, loves her baby more than the mother who spends 24/7 with their baby and focuses 100% on being that baby's carer.
And you can't say the baby in the nursery will be happier either because I have first hand experience to tell you that baby is not as okay as you're led to believe.
I'm supportive of mothers going back to work early to make ends meet, but not for selfish reasons like not being arsed to sacrifice a couple of years for their baby.