So many child haters here

[Sabrinasummersamples]

So many threads on here seem to attract the same sort of answer along the lines of
-In my day we'd have got a smack. Never did me any harm. Give em a clip round the ear.
-kids today are entitled shrieky brats
-kids should stand for adults
-kids shouldn't be allowed in restaurants

Yet often those same posters are the first to call "agism" when people disagree.
Why do so many people hold such contempt for kids?
I mean I know kids can be annoying but honestly you could say that about any group of people. Plus we were all kids once 🤷

Tollerate their annoying behaviours as they get older is what I mean. They all love their kids. You can find alot of their behaviours annoying, this doesn't impact the love you have for your child.

So you are never taking your child to a cafe, or on a train, or to a park, or the cinema...

Poor fucking child! Tolerated past the age of 5 and not allowed out in public spaces.

Let's hope your baby has no disabilities or isn't on the spectrum either as you seem to have no awareness of the realities of having a child.

It's a bit of seeing what you want to see and confirmation bias. I went with DD to the skate park the other day, and since it was dry and sunny it was full. Dozens of kids of various ages,backgrounds,nationalities etc. On their own,with friends, with families. From babies/toddlers to late teens/young adults. I only remember three, the one peeing up a tree the one that barged into us because he didn't give a shit and the one that refused to share a piece of equipment. Not I could easily focus on those, and say kids today are feral and spoilt and selfish, and completely forget the other 90 or so kids that were perfectly normal in their behaviour, so much so that they were totally forgettable.

@Ifeelsuchflutterings I'm sure it will be fine

My aunt used to be a childminder. She loves children. She retired maybe ten years ago, after a 30yr career.

She categorically said the change in poor behaviour has started before she retired, and that children were unrecognisable from when she first started her career. People just don't discipline their children anymore. They are ruder, entitled, more spoilt. Whilst mine are not excessively so, they certainly do the odd things that I wouldn't have gotten away with, namely because it's just accepted in society.

My aunt said for £1m a year she would not look after "today's" children. And whilst that is a sweeping generalisation, it is definitely the general behaviour that prompts her to say this.

I can see exactly why people are becoming less tolerant of children. An alarming amount of them are becoming, well, intolerable.

What will be fine?

Perhaps I exaggerate when I say, ‘many more…’ I think 60-70% of children are great and as many as 30-40% are really quite unpleasant. They are certainly unaware of how to behave properly in public and how to consider other people’s feelings and wellbeing.

@Ifeelsuchflutterings the love I have for my child. I'm not worried about this. You don't need to be an English "mumsy " to love a child. I've never encountered stuff like this lol its is not how my friends and family talk at all lol all the children I know are well cared for and very happy but their mothers admit they are annoying often. It's OK to admit kids are annoying in public a lot of the time lol. I didn't grow up with an English mumsy and we are all far closer to my mother than the helicopter mumsys that she knew lol. Shock horror my mum has always said she doesn't like other children and she was an absolutely fantastic mother who all her adult children are very close to (she also talks about us being annoying as children) as are my sister, SIL and friends. I reiterate this is a cultural difference.

@Needsomeadvice33 I think your views will change as your child grows and as you meet all their friends that will appear in your life. Children give us a fresh perspective on life, if you let them.

@Needsomeadvice33 Where are you from?

@user9630721458 probably. I have many older nieces and nephews who I love dearly and see extremely often and look after all the time. I love them beyond words but they are still bloody annoying and that is OK . I tollerate their annoying behaviours as I love them. I don't feel this way about random kids in public spaces and that's OK too.

I think if the only value you see in a child is their "cuteness" then you should probably re-think having one and maybe just get a doll or a pug you can dress up and wheel about in a little push chair. It certainly seems there's a high chance that your "annoying" and non-"cute" over 5 year old will pick up on how you feel and become a very difficult and possibly troubled child themselves.

Well that's because most humans are annoying, it doesn't just apply to children.

@Sabrinasummersamples the cuteness is in regard to what random people feel towards random kids. They do not know or love them . When they cease to be cute that reduces the tolerability that the public will have for them in public spaces (especially whem you add in annoying behaviour/loudness). I thought your post was about random perceptions to random kids in public spaces. Why are you being delibrately obtuse. When a baby cries popele look and smile (not always) when a kid is running around and screetching nobody is looking and smiling. People in general are far less tollerant of children than infants, that are not related to them! Sure my kid will be fine.

@AngryGreasedSantaCatcus I agree but adults generally don't run riot and screech in public and try to engage randoms with incessant, annoying questions which is why people are more tolerant towards adults. They just tend to ignore eachother.

Nope. My post was about attitudes I've come across on mumsnet recently. Ive not seen much bad behaviour in real life, nor have I come across anyone in real life who appears to actively dislike kids. (As opposed to indifference) if you have trouble reading that isn't really my problem.

When I read through the thread everyone was referencing children in public spaces. People's attitudes on mumsnet towards children are based on their experienced in real life

I'm not English either but I'm still not surrounded by women who only tolerate their children luckily

No one suggested you needed to be an English mumsy whatever one of those is in order to actually love your child rather than tolerate it

1.False equivalence.

1. There are hundreds of threads on MN moaning about babies crying or worse (shock ! Horror!) babbling , blowing raspberries,laughing, especially if excitedly and thus louder.

They do it plenty enough. Which is worse, as they're definitely old enough to know better.

Everyone knows what an English mumsy is lol its a common stereotype. Certainly seems to be common on this thread. Perhaps I'm not easily as offended as some. I will happily admit when my child is being annoying, like everyone else I know does. I will teach them how to not be annoying in public when they are doing standard annoying kid behaviour - which many people don't seem to do these days as KiDS ArE NeVeR AnNoYiNG, ThEY ArE AnGeLs

^ This

There are no manners. DD had a play date the other day and I was told friend would be basically eating upstairs on bed. Not on my watch my friend! No way is a child dictating to me where they will eat. You can eat downstairs at the table!

@Needsomeadvice33

I understand totally what you are saying. Parents love their children but I think you are quite right in pointing out that sometimes children can be intensely annoying even when you do love them. I think anyone who says their child never winds them up is maybe not being entirely honest. You sound like you will be a great mum. Loving but aware there will be days full of frustration and irritation.

Not being English no, I don't know what an English mumsy is I've literally never heard the phrase before.

I'd find your "I'm going to be the perfect mum unlike all these other mums who are doing it wrong and I know better even though my child isn't even born yet" more amusing if you didn't sound borderline like you were going to be an abusive parent with your "I will only like my child until they are 5 and then I will tolerate them" line

@Missingmyusername

The are no manners. WhT ? None? From none of the children? Including your own? Or is your own the precious exception, and you're the only parent that does it right?