Page 16 | So many child haters here

Needsomeadvice33 · 12/08/2023 18:36

@AngryGreasedSantaCatcus but this isn't what I see in real life and I go out often with friends, sister , SIL. When taking my nieces /nephews out ( I looked after them several times per week when sister is working for years) random people always tried to interact with them whether they were crying or not and displayed sympathy " oh why are you sad etc". When the screetched as babies its was "what are you saying " and smiling at them. When they became children that completely stopped. One of them was quite bad for tantrums and people would openly be pissed off and make omments. But not even tantrumming people would tut in cafes etc when they were incessantly chatting to me as kids are generally louder than adults. So my experience doesn't reflect these threads at all. I find people found them cute and wanted to interact with them and tollerated their loudness when they were cute. This definately ended at the end of toddlerhood for all rhe children. I have one friend who's son won't sit still and time spent with her is just her trying to control him then giving up. When he was an infant it wasn't like that.

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 12/08/2023 18:36

DoraSpenlow · 12/08/2023 18:30

@Needsomeadvice33

I understand totally what you are saying. Parents love their children but I think you are quite right in pointing out that sometimes children can be intensely annoying even when you do love them. I think anyone who says their child never winds them up is maybe not being entirely honest. You sound like you will be a great mum. Loving but aware there will be days full of frustration and irritation.

Yes but that annoyingness is common to the human race, and it also doesn't have such a specific cut off point of 4/5 like the poster claims.

Most people are annoying to the day they die in various ways and circumstances to various people.

Needsomeadvice33 · 12/08/2023 18:43

I used the age as a reference that the biological tolerability ends around that age. As cuteness generally softens the annoying behaviours in public spaces. Why are people delibrately missing that. The thread wasn't about adults so I didn't bring them up. Generally speaking though kids are far more annoying in public than adults. I think kids need to be taught how to behave in public and become independent adults to go into the world and spread their wings. I don't think I will be the perfect mother as whoever it was said that. I just think it's fine to admit your kids have annoying behaviours lol I can't understand why this is so insulting lol. It's a literal fact that kids have standard annoying behaviour and that's OK as they need to be taught how to behave in public. Anyway I have a perfect mother so I'm sure I will be fine as I will have her for support and guidance.

Yesabsolutely · 12/08/2023 18:44

@Needsomeadvice33 .I actually understand exactly what you are saying and all your posts can relate to. You explain very well and I don't understand why people are so defensive!🤷‍♀️
Loved my children to bits when they were young but yes they were also occasionally very annoying, irritating and at times badly behaved likeall children but I tried not to subject their tricky behaviour on other people .
Agree that people are generally more tolerant of a crying stressy baby / toddler than a badly behaved older child but as the parent we still love them to bits.

Original poster

Sabrinasummersamples · 12/08/2023 18:46

@AngryGreasedSantaCatcus I really wouldnt bother arguing with that poster. Obviously she knows more about kids than people who have them and also she can read the minds of people around her. So she obviously knows best.
And luckily she's not an "English mumsy" which helps. Has a bit of a problem with reading posts and claiming other people are obtuse because of that, but I guess nobody's perfect 🤷

OP posts:

CloudyMcCloud · 12/08/2023 18:47

Tbh I’d choose to be around older dc anyway these days. I’m past the baby stage and toddlers are a bit erratic and I’m not good with crying babies

I find five plus innocent and nice to chat to

Dc still get a nice reception generally and are five plus

RedHelenB · 12/08/2023 18:48

Sabrinasummersamples · 10/08/2023 17:59

So many threads on here seem to attract the same sort of answer along the lines of
-In my day we'd have got a smack. Never did me any harm. Give em a clip round the ear.
-kids today are entitled shrieky brats
-kids should stand for adults
-kids shouldn't be allowed in restaurants

Yet often those same posters are the first to call "agism" when people disagree.
Why do so many people hold such contempt for kids?
I mean I know kids can be annoying but honestly you could say that about any group of people. Plus we were all kids once 🤷

I think the opposite. Too many posts along the libeschildren must never be told no, can never be left alone to fall asleep or they'll be scarred forever etc etc.

Ifeelsuchflutterings · 12/08/2023 18:48

Yesabsolutely · 12/08/2023 18:44

@Needsomeadvice33 .I actually understand exactly what you are saying and all your posts can relate to. You explain very well and I don't understand why people are so defensive!🤷‍♀️
Loved my children to bits when they were young but yes they were also occasionally very annoying, irritating and at times badly behaved likeall children but I tried not to subject their tricky behaviour on other people .
Agree that people are generally more tolerant of a crying stressy baby / toddler than a badly behaved older child but as the parent we still love them to bits.

So you are saying you also agree with this:

I think most women want babies and toddlers and then just tollerate the kids they become.

Poor kids

EldenRing4 · 12/08/2023 18:48

Blankspacesonly · 10/08/2023 18:18

It's also not just childfree people who comment about children. Currently on mumsnet there are threads where parents talk about tripping children and tipping hot food on them. Not so long ago there was a thread where parents said they would use their step kids as a human shield/step over them/step on them to rescue their children in a fire. That's just the couple I can think of off the top of my head!

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The human shield was just ONE poster and they soon got short shrift from everyone else... hardly parent(s) with an S.

CloudyMcCloud · 12/08/2023 18:50

Needsomeadvice33 · 12/08/2023 18:27

Everyone knows what an English mumsy is lol its a common stereotype. Certainly seems to be common on this thread. Perhaps I'm not easily as offended as some. I will happily admit when my child is being annoying, like everyone else I know does. I will teach them how to not be annoying in public when they are doing standard annoying kid behaviour - which many people don't seem to do these days as KiDS ArE NeVeR AnNoYiNG, ThEY ArE AnGeLs

Not sure about dc but that upper case lower case writing, I’d more to avoid that tbh

And the English mumsy thing.. it’s all bit silly

Original poster

Sabrinasummersamples · 12/08/2023 18:53

I just think it's fine to admit your kids have annoying behaviours lol I can't understand why this is so insulting lol.

Of course it's fine to admit that.

But what you also said was that kids over the age of 4/5 have no endearing qualities and nobody likes them, even their own mother's find them annoying and they'd rather focus on their younger children.

Which frankly is bollocks. It's also disturbing to hear someone say that who is expecting a child themselves. You later watered that down saying that since they're your child you'll love them anyway but that isn't how you started off.

And claimed to know how absolutely everyone else feels. And then called anyone that pointed out that was a lie an "English mumsy"

That is what many posters are taking issue with
Oh and to quote you - lol

OP posts:

Needsomeadvice33 · 12/08/2023 19:03

I said they have no endearing qualities to randoms in the public which I do think is mostly true, based on what I have seen and hear from people. People can have different opinions to you you know. Of course I will love my child this was never the question. In all honesty you are peak mumsy LOL so we will never agree and that's OK. I'm not finding any of this anywhere near as irritating as you are. It's a anonymous Internet forum lol what do you expect. If you are so easily triggered it's probably not a healthy place for you to be. I'm also nit arguing with people as that implies I'm trying to get them to agree with me. Im not. I'm aware humans are all very different. Anonymous Internet forums are open for debate to all sorts, this is the whole point. I was merely sharing what I see and the truth is I do know several women who seem to just tollerate their kids but most of them tollerate their annoying behaviours. Motherhood like everything in humanity exists on a spectrum - you are at the mumsy end. I know nobody in a friends capacity at the mumsy end thank god , oh one last LOL for the road. Im off put, I will promise you that I will try my darndest to tollerate any annoying 8 year olds! Cheerio.

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 12/08/2023 19:09

Sabrinasummersamples · 12/08/2023 18:46

@AngryGreasedSantaCatcus I really wouldnt bother arguing with that poster. Obviously she knows more about kids than people who have them and also she can read the minds of people around her. So she obviously knows best.
And luckily she's not an "English mumsy" which helps. Has a bit of a problem with reading posts and claiming other people are obtuse because of that, but I guess nobody's perfect 🤷

I'm an English TAsy , if anyone should be fed up with kids it should be me, not someone that doesn't even have them yet.

Ifeelsuchflutterings · 12/08/2023 19:12

Needsomeadvice33 · 12/08/2023 19:03

I said they have no endearing qualities to randoms in the public which I do think is mostly true, based on what I have seen and hear from people. People can have different opinions to you you know. Of course I will love my child this was never the question. In all honesty you are peak mumsy LOL so we will never agree and that's OK. I'm not finding any of this anywhere near as irritating as you are. It's a anonymous Internet forum lol what do you expect. If you are so easily triggered it's probably not a healthy place for you to be. I'm also nit arguing with people as that implies I'm trying to get them to agree with me. Im not. I'm aware humans are all very different. Anonymous Internet forums are open for debate to all sorts, this is the whole point. I was merely sharing what I see and the truth is I do know several women who seem to just tollerate their kids but most of them tollerate their annoying behaviours. Motherhood like everything in humanity exists on a spectrum - you are at the mumsy end. I know nobody in a friends capacity at the mumsy end thank god , oh one last LOL for the road. Im off put, I will promise you that I will try my darndest to tollerate any annoying 8 year olds! Cheerio.

I think most women want babies and toddlers and then just tollerate the kids they become.

I'm not sure knowing multiple bad parents is the thing to boast about here

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 12/08/2023 19:15

Yesabsolutely · 12/08/2023 18:44

@Needsomeadvice33 .I actually understand exactly what you are saying and all your posts can relate to. You explain very well and I don't understand why people are so defensive!🤷‍♀️
Loved my children to bits when they were young but yes they were also occasionally very annoying, irritating and at times badly behaved likeall children but I tried not to subject their tricky behaviour on other people .
Agree that people are generally more tolerant of a crying stressy baby / toddler than a badly behaved older child but as the parent we still love them to bits.

You are you equating a crying stressy baby/toddler with a badly behaved child? That's what I don't get.

A crying baby cries for a reason. Older children also can and do cry for a reason.

So you wouldn't have any sympathy for a 7 yo crying because they hurt themselves? Or stressed because they can't find their mum. Or because they're tired and hungry? That's the equivalent.

Original poster

Sabrinasummersamples · 12/08/2023 19:18

I think most women want babies and toddlers and then just tollerate the kids they become.

I'm not sure knowing multiple bad parents is the thing to boast about here.

Quite. But if you still love your kids past the age of about 5 and -shock horror - even like plenty of other ones that aren't your own then obviously you must be "peek mumsy" like me. Lol

How scary, that people like that are having kids.

OP posts:

Ifeelsuchflutterings · 12/08/2023 19:20

Sabrinasummersamples · 12/08/2023 19:18

I think most women want babies and toddlers and then just tollerate the kids they become.

I'm not sure knowing multiple bad parents is the thing to boast about here.

Quite. But if you still love your kids past the age of about 5 and -shock horror - even like plenty of other ones that aren't your own then obviously you must be "peek mumsy" like me. Lol

How scary, that people like that are having kids.

I had a mum like that, the "only tolerate" you kind, or as I prefer to more accurately call it "the abusive kind"

It is very scary that they having kids

Needsomeadvice33 · 12/08/2023 19:20

For a start I spelled peak properly LOL

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 12/08/2023 19:23

*I had a mum like that, the "only tolerate" you kind, or as I prefer to more accurately call it "the abusive kind"

It is very scary that they having kids*

Me too. Apparently I was the dream/perfect child then I grew up (around 7?)and it all went downhill.

Needsomeadvice33 · 12/08/2023 19:29

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MhairiLynette · 12/08/2023 19:29

I have never had a child of my own but I am a stepmother of 4 and have been a brownie leader for over 20 years. My stepchildren are between 8 and 13 years old and I don’t tolerate them I love all of them. It was difficult enough for all of them when their parents marriage broke down and the last thing they need is stepparents who don’t really want them around. I always make sure they know they are loved and wanted. My brownies are amazing little people each with their own personality and needs and there is nothing more rewarding than watching them grow and change. Children need to feel loved and supported to give them a chance of growing into healthy adults.

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 12/08/2023 19:35

Needsomeadvice33 · 12/08/2023 19:20

For a start I spelled peak properly LOL

If you're going down the grammar road you might want to spell check "tollerate", especially since you're using it so much.

TitoMojito · 12/08/2023 19:36

PetersSpecialCheese · 10/08/2023 18:14

I don't hate children.

I just don't care to spend time around poorly parented, badly behaved children.

This is it exactly.

rwalker · 12/08/2023 19:47

I don’t think people hate kids as such it just everywhere you go there tends to be feral children causing chaos

AIBot · 12/08/2023 19:48

TitoMojito · 12/08/2023 19:36

This is it exactly.

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Yes. You love your own children and tolerate other peoples - if they aren’t a nuisance.