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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be pissed off at sick colleague

262 replies

RoseElla · 10/08/2023 12:31

This might sound bitchy, have name changed and will change some details so it’s not too outing to the person, as I’m just looking to vent and see if it’s reasonable as my other colleague is so OTT sympathetic to the point it winds me up.

colleague has been working at company about 18 months. Has had around 10 episodes of sickness with the last one being a week long. The company don’t seem to be following regular sickness rules (we go by scoring) and she is so far over the threshold it’s unbelievable. She has said it’s all for the same stomach issue and it’s under investigation and our manager has basically told HR they don’t ever need to flag it.

im just shocked tbh never have I had an employer be so unbothered. In my last jobs they would be trying to get her out and I get that sounds harsh but it affects every one, especially me. We are in an office role so we are sitting down all day I’m sure there could be some adjustments made just so the workload is taken off me a bit, even doing some from home but it’s just nothing.

AIBU to think 10+ episodes is silly in 18 months? Or at least silly for a company to still entertain it?

OP posts:
AgnesX · 10/08/2023 12:32

Sounds like it's covered by disability and HR are making allowances for it.

MrsPinkCock · 10/08/2023 12:34

If she has something that could be a legal disability such as Crohn’s disease then it would almost be expected that adjustments would be made to the usual sickness policies. Even without a formal diagnosis it could be a disability if the symptoms/effect are severe enough so maybe the company are just being cautious.

Maddy70 · 10/08/2023 12:34

It sounds like hr know the "real" story. You know the story you are being told

Original poster
RoseElla · 10/08/2023 12:34

Why would it be if there is no diagnosis and just an ongoing issue that’s being investigated? I feel for her but there’s sick policies for a reason even if sicknesses are completely legit and it’s just affecting the company and work load of others

OP posts:
Littlegoth · 10/08/2023 12:35

If it’s been going on for over 18 month ms then the equality act could apply. Your boss/HR are doing the right thing.

Her sickness is none of your business. The extra pressure on you is something you need to raise separately with your manager to see how they can support you.

Dixiechickonhols · 10/08/2023 12:35

I’d assume she has an underlying condition or disability. If manager and hr aren’t flagging it then there’s clearly something more going on. It’s not your business why she’s off.
I’d focus on you and how affects you. Eg if it’s increasing your workload or stopping you doing part of your role then you can raise that.

Namechange13101 · 10/08/2023 12:35

Literally non of your business….HR and the manger know the real story and you need to do your job and not worry about your colleague. Let’s hope that you’re not ever in a situation to have a medical condition that requires investigation and understanding from your workplace rather than them ‘trying to get you out’!

thinkkook · 10/08/2023 12:36

We have a staff member who does on average 2/3 weeks in then same off again at least.

It's mental health so classed as a disability.

It's a nightmare for the rest of us. No one wants their office day to be booked when he's on with them as most likely be on your own as person will inevitably be off again.

Nothing we can do but suck it up.

MrsPinkCock · 10/08/2023 12:36

RoseElla · 10/08/2023 12:34

Why would it be if there is no diagnosis and just an ongoing issue that’s being investigated? I feel for her but there’s sick policies for a reason even if sicknesses are completely legit and it’s just affecting the company and work load of others

Because legally you don’t need a diagnosis to be protected by the disability discrimination provisions in the equality act.

It comes down to whether there is a physical impairment which substantially impacts her ability to carry out her usual day to day activities, and which is likely to last longer than 12 months.

If she meets that legal test then she is disabled.

Original poster
RoseElla · 10/08/2023 12:36

I did speak about the work load to my manager who told me that it’s irrelevant because the amount of work I’m doing is fine for one role and that at the moment the work load we have wouldn’t actually be enough to cover 2 people anyway but that just seems such an excuse which is why I’m also frustrated that they seem so understanding of her but completely push me away when I raise that

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 10/08/2023 12:38

She has said it’s all for the same stomach issue and it’s under investigation and our manager has basically told HR they don’t ever need to flag it.

In that case I’d assume it’s something more serious or ongoing than she feels comfortable telling you, because it’s really none of your business why she is off or why the employer is choosing to deal with it in they way they are.

If your workload is unmanageable you need to address that with your boss, but I’d leave her sickness record out of the conversation.

10HailMarys · 10/08/2023 12:39

You’re not her manager so it’s none of your business. Clearly a conversation has been had between her manager and HR about the nature of her condition, and they have decided that it’s appropriate to handle it in this way. You don’t know the full story and you don’t get to dictate the sickness policy.

If your own workload is unmanageable then have a conversation with your manager about that. Your workload is for them to manage, not your sick colleague.

Hoardasurass · 10/08/2023 12:39

You need to but out and back off. She has clearly spoken to management about it and will be covered by disability rules and if you comment about this at work in the same disgusting ablist way you have on here your likely to end up on a disciplinary.

GingerIsBest · 10/08/2023 12:40

how the company handle this is totally irrelevant to you. The only thing that's relevant is whether or not her sickness affects your work load. And if it does, then THAT is something that the company should be addressing.

WunWun · 10/08/2023 12:40

You don't know a thing about her medical history and this is absolutely none of your business

Absolutebeginners1 · 10/08/2023 12:42

If you’re not her line manager you’re probably not privy to all the details. If they are in your eyes being unusually lenient to this colleague it’s probably for good reason. Perhaps trust those more senior to you are making the right decisions, after all they seem fully aware of all her absences.

Original poster
RoseElla · 10/08/2023 12:42

I mean she is quite open about it and has said they aren’t sure what the issue is and are still investigating so I really don’t think it’s an actual disability or something more than I’m not aware of. I’m definitely not trying to be ableist it’s just quite frustrating. She started with the episodes only a few months into employment and I asked her then how management have been and she was very much “well I disclosed the ongoing investigations on my pre employment forms for occupational health so not much they can do I suppose” I think she doesn’t seem worried about the inconvenience at all. I’m not trying to be horrible I’m just stressed and on my lunch break of yet another busy day

OP posts:
justanothernamechangemonday · 10/08/2023 12:42

I have a serious bowel condition and am covered by my companies occ. Health policy - as it's an underlying condition I have a higher sickness % allowance compared to my colleagues (allowance is generally 2-4%, I have up to 10%). That being said, I haven't taken a sick day in 2 years, but as my condition is both unpredictable and not going to improve, it's right that I am able to take whatever time - to an extent - that I need.

Also - as PP have said, it's literally none of your business. If your workload is unmanageable then that's for your manager to deal with.

Hufflemuff · 10/08/2023 12:42

Think of it like this, one day you might be up shit creek and need your employer to be this supportive of you. Illness can strike from nowhere and totally incapacitate you. Please think how you would like to be treated in this situation.

Winter2020 · 10/08/2023 12:43

Why do you think you have the right to know this colleagues private medical information?

If you need help with your work or are suffering with stress etc then speak to your boss about the issues you have not about your colleague.

I had a colleague, always had stomach issues, everyone had advice of what to eliminate and she had tried everything. She has sadly passed now from bowel cancer. Mind your own business.

Dixiechickonhols · 10/08/2023 12:43

So manager says workload fine for 1. Is it? If it isn’t keep notes with concrete examples eg other grade 5 have 70 cases each I have 100, on a Friday I have to invoice and as I’m only one going it it’s impossible to do in time allowed etc. Then request another meeting. Focus on you and your workload it’s irrelevant why she’s off.

LapinR0se · 10/08/2023 12:45

Gosh you are exactly the kind of colleague I would hate to have. Her illness is absolutely none of your business

Roosmarjin · 10/08/2023 12:45

RoseElla · 10/08/2023 12:42

I mean she is quite open about it and has said they aren’t sure what the issue is and are still investigating so I really don’t think it’s an actual disability or something more than I’m not aware of. I’m definitely not trying to be ableist it’s just quite frustrating. She started with the episodes only a few months into employment and I asked her then how management have been and she was very much “well I disclosed the ongoing investigations on my pre employment forms for occupational health so not much they can do I suppose” I think she doesn’t seem worried about the inconvenience at all. I’m not trying to be horrible I’m just stressed and on my lunch break of yet another busy day

Thankfully the law disagrees with you and it is classed as a disability

VeridicalVagabond · 10/08/2023 12:45

Your workload becoming unmanageable is not her fault nor her problem, that's a failure on the part of your manager and needs to be raised with them. They need to make arrangements with regards to that, whether that be hiring a temp or looking at getting a part timer in or whatever.

I had a colleague with similar illness records once, off a lot, ill a lot. She was struggling with cancer and just didn't want her colleagues to know so kept it between her, management and HR. She might be going through hell for all you know. Blame your crappy management, not the sick person.

Azaeleasinbloom · 10/08/2023 12:46

Dixiechickonhols · 10/08/2023 12:43

So manager says workload fine for 1. Is it? If it isn’t keep notes with concrete examples eg other grade 5 have 70 cases each I have 100, on a Friday I have to invoice and as I’m only one going it it’s impossible to do in time allowed etc. Then request another meeting. Focus on you and your workload it’s irrelevant why she’s off.

This is good advice Op, please listen to it.

Totally get that you are stressed and frustrated at what you perceive as unfair, but your colleague is unwell, and you are not coming over in a good light.