AIBU to be pissed off at sick colleague

[RoseElla]

This might sound bitchy, have name changed and will change some details so it’s not too outing to the person, as I’m just looking to vent and see if it’s reasonable as my other colleague is so OTT sympathetic to the point it winds me up.

colleague has been working at company about 18 months. Has had around 10 episodes of sickness with the last one being a week long. The company don’t seem to be following regular sickness rules (we go by scoring) and she is so far over the threshold it’s unbelievable. She has said it’s all for the same stomach issue and it’s under investigation and our manager has basically told HR they don’t ever need to flag it.

im just shocked tbh never have I had an employer be so unbothered. In my last jobs they would be trying to get her out and I get that sounds harsh but it affects every one, especially me. We are in an office role so we are sitting down all day I’m sure there could be some adjustments made just so the workload is taken off me a bit, even doing some from home but it’s just nothing.

AIBU to think 10+ episodes is silly in 18 months? Or at least silly for a company to still entertain it?

Your colleague's health condition is absolutely none of your business.

The only concern you should have, over and above being a decent human being and hoping she recovers soon, is how work are resourcing your workload. If it's unmanageable then you need to provide evidenced examples as to why this is the case and request that your boss find some additional resource to cope with the increased workload.

It says a lot that your focus in this is the attempt to imply that your colleague is somehow getting special treatment.

You won't get a supportive answer on here, OP. MN users are 100% on the side of the sick employee, and never the poor sods left dealing with their workload.

I'm a small business owner and am always so saddened by these answers because the impact of someone being off is huge - no matter what the reason behind it. Someone with repeated ongoing absences is a nightmare to manage, and you do need to be seen to be "dealing" with the issue to the rest of the staff.

@RoseElla YABVVU regarding your colleague. However, YANBU about the stress you are experiencing.

It is none of your business why your manager and HR are taking the approach they are. Like pp I suspect it’s a reasonable adjustment for a disability.

As you are stressed that is an issue for you to refer to your manager. Fill in the questionnaire then arrange a meeting with your manager.
https://www.hse.gov.uk/stress/risk-assessment.htm
https://www.hse.gov.uk/stress/help-for-workers.htm
https://www.hse.gov.uk/stress/assets/docs/returntowork.pdf

YABU.

If you cannot handle the extra workload, you should flag it up with HR to put in extra personell. It's HR/management you should be angy with not the colleague who seems to battle a long term health condition/disability 🤔

No, the OP is not likely to get a supportive answer to being pissed off at a colleague with a chronic health condition. And rightly so.

Directing any ire towards the manager who is clearly not willing to accept that the OP is experiencing difficulties as a result of the absences would have perhaps garnered more support.

Being annoyed at someone for being ill is pretty crappy.

It doesn't matter whether a condition is yet diagnosed, it can still have an adverse impact on someone and I imagine after 18 months it probably is doing.
You have absolutely no clue whether she is worried about the inconvience. She may be really concerned about her sickness absence or she may be just trying to focus on her health and not worry too much about work.
Keep out of it and just concentrate on your own work.

So the crux of the matter isn't really your colleagues sickness but the fact you're feeling hard done to because you perceive others in the company to be doing less work.

If you believe and can evidence to your manager that you are doing more work than is feasible for one person then you might get somewhere in your discussions. As it is you're moaning that Team B have 2 people to do the work you are doing which your manager has already said is an acceptable workload for one.

Chronic illness is awful, be glad you work for an understanding employer as you never know when you might need that compassion.

Echoing YABU. If you don't agree with what the workplace is doing to accommodate your colleague no one is forcing you to stay...

As an aside, I was diagnosed with an IBD as a teen, it's been fine for the last 20 odd years. Then last year suddenly had terrible symptoms which has meant test after test after test. Plus a number of small procedures. Only now one year later have I been started on a course of meds that are helping - these things are not very often sorted overnight!

To sum up...

1. You are expected to do an amount of work that your management believe would be reasonable for one person to complete and don't seem to suggest you disagree with this
2. However other teams have two people doing that same workoad and so are able to slack off to a degree
3. This is unfair and somehow this is your sick colleague's fault?

You're angry in the wrong direction. If you have an issue with your workload, speak to your boss. If you are unclear what the relative roles and responsibilities are for you and this colleague, speak to her and try to get something on paper to take to your boss if you can't agree it between you. If you are unclear on cover arrangements, speak to your boss.

It's absolutely nothing to do with you.

If you think you're overworked, and management don't, that's between you and management and isn't your colleagues problem.

Wind your neck in.

If your workload is still less than expected capacity there’s nothing for you to complain about. If you keep drawing too much attention as to how little you have to do it’s likely you’ll be given more permanently on her return from sick.

It can take years to get diagnosed. I had horrific issues with “stomach issues”, turned out to be Crohns, took a little over a year to get diagnosed and then 3 months for treatment to kick in. My workplace were supportive and didn’t hold me to standard sickness policies. None of my colleagues were told why as it’s none of their business

HR and management are respecting the confidentiality of this employee by not telling you the full story as to why they are off sick. Quite frankly you have zero need or right to know. However, management should be ensuring that work loads are being managed effectively so that one member of staff being off sick does not mean added stress and over time for the rest of the team. If the work load is not being effectively managed by the senior team that is not the fault of the employee who is off sick.

@amusedbush

would you mind saying what it is?

I'm exhausted with being fobbed off.

OP,

Focus on yourself and how this is impacting you.

Email your boss your concerns over YOUR workload and how often you are having to manage the increase.

Mention that you are finding the increase in the workload more stressful as it has gone one.

You need a papertrail because this appears that it will be a long term thing.

Her health is her business.

But if your workload is doubled then the impact of it becomes your problem

Start getting into exactly how you are being affected.

Your manager telling you the extra work load and its impact on you is "irrelevant" is completely unacceptable, and that needs HR involvement.

Is your manager telling you that your health and wellbeing is unimportant and less important than that of your colleague?

This is not acceptable.

Your colleagues health issues and the work load is for management to manage, not to foist on you and dismiss your concerns.

Start a paper trail.

Oh my God this thread has riled me!

I’ve been in your colleague’s shoes. I’d much rather have been at work than in hospital or perpetually unwell, worrying about my career prospects, my team members.

It’s not your colleague’s fault your work load is too much! That’s on your manager. Don’t blame your colleague.

OP - you're pissed off at the wrong person. If your workload is really increased then be pissed off at the company for not putting plans in place to cover this LTS.

Not the poor woman who clearly has a condition far more serious than you think (or have a right to know tbh)

Been there, it's shit for her and shit for the rest of you. She'll eventually go on grounds of capability, but it could take some time.

how do you know there is no diagnosis? Also diagnosis can take a LONG time.

Bravo.

Your title says you are pissed off with your sick colleague. Maybe instead you should be pissed off with your manager for not providing appropriate cover for days she's off.

I would have faith in your HR department and assume that she has a serious health problem that you don't know all the details of.

Is your surname Parker, initial N.?

Have you any idea how long it takes to get a diagnosis OP? I have been having issues since April and first saw my GP in early May. I am no nearer a diagnosis. I’ve got a MRI next week but the consultant has warned me that might not show what the issue is and other tests are likely to be needed. That’s private. I was told that the wait for a NHS consultant appointment was over a year. I haven’t had any time off work but that’s mainly because I WFH and lie down when the pain is really bad.