AIBU to be pissed off at sick colleague

[RoseElla]

This might sound bitchy, have name changed and will change some details so it’s not too outing to the person, as I’m just looking to vent and see if it’s reasonable as my other colleague is so OTT sympathetic to the point it winds me up.

colleague has been working at company about 18 months. Has had around 10 episodes of sickness with the last one being a week long. The company don’t seem to be following regular sickness rules (we go by scoring) and she is so far over the threshold it’s unbelievable. She has said it’s all for the same stomach issue and it’s under investigation and our manager has basically told HR they don’t ever need to flag it.

im just shocked tbh never have I had an employer be so unbothered. In my last jobs they would be trying to get her out and I get that sounds harsh but it affects every one, especially me. We are in an office role so we are sitting down all day I’m sure there could be some adjustments made just so the workload is taken off me a bit, even doing some from home but it’s just nothing.

AIBU to think 10+ episodes is silly in 18 months? Or at least silly for a company to still entertain it?

She could have a serious disease and just tries to carry on as best she can. My sister has stage 2 bowel cancer and does not tell anyone apart from HR. She would rather do something than nothing. Try to be more understanding.

Methinks you are the selfish one. If you have a disability serious enough to be covered by the equality act then you’re not ‘dumping’ anything. A decent employer won’t penalise someone with a serious condition if their sick record is impacted. And as has been said umpteen times on this thread, it’s not the fault of the disabled employee if the management can’t effectively share the load. This poster has already said she hasn’t taken any sick leave in two years. Most genuinely disabled people don’t take the piss with sick leave because they recognise and appreciate it when employers are compassionate and committed enough to support them. Grow up.

You do realise that a stomach issue might be anything from indigestion , gallstones to IBS right ? And the last 2 as an example untreated and uncontrolled are hell if they flare up . It’s not up to you to determine what HR seems a lenient or not . Why doesn’t it bother you so much

I would also think very hard about complaining or even gossiping about this . If anyone on my team did this they would be the ones being called to explain themselves.
2 of my team members had serious health issues this year ,completely different issues , one was relating to fertility issues and miscarriages another with the possibility of colon cancer , none of them wanted to share with anyone else but ,obviously me because it made sense so I could understand and make sure they had the time they needed ( they didn’t have to share but I’m glad they did ) .
I not only allowed them to miss world without being flagged but pleaded that the 6 weeks full pay they are entitled while on sick leave was extended .
If anyone on my team came to me question why I did it , I could only assume they do not think I mange my team correctly .

You're being completely unreasonable and very unempathetic. You also clearly have never had to manage an absence like this. It's very likely HR have advised your manager that there isn't much they can do until a diagnosis is sought because they are doing everything they can to avoid absence.
Once a diagnosis is received and treatment sought then likely if absence continues at that rate they might consider setting reasonable expectations for absence under disability act or moving for her to medically retire if too unfit for work.

Yes: let her get sacked, try to live on benefits,if she can get any, let her mental health take the load of not having some relatively minor changes which enables her to being employed and contribute. God forbid anyone not 100% fit and well get a little consideration

Yep. Not forgetting forcing her to join the cohort of disabled people who regularly come in for criticism because they are on benefits. I regularly see posts on MN stating that the disabled are capable of doing something, and yet here we are dumping on someone trying their best to do just that.

Even with a disability - the company has to make appropriate reasonable adjustments, that doesn't mean allowing endless time off. YANBU to feel fed up if this is impacting on your workload - speak to your manager or HR if necessary.

The basic implied employment contract requires a person to turn up and do the work they are paid for. If adjustments can't be put in place to facilitate that then the contract will be terminated because the employee is unable to perform the role they were contracted for.

Presumably the company are working through their absence procedures, which will include Occupational Health interventions etc - and you won't be party to that. But you are entitled to complain if it's affecting your job - and if necessary they may need to bring in supply staff or something. It needn't be personal about your colleague - but you need to keep complaining or they'll probably just assume you can pick up the slack.

I have a very serious pancreas disease but I don’t get endless time off. I get double what every one else gets, so 12 days / 6 occasions. People seem to think conditions make you exempt from disciplinary but that’s not the case. I’ve had multiple surgeries / stents in the past but thankfully not had a day off for some time. It’s not fair if your workload is doubling - speak to your countersigning manager if it’s too much

Your colleague owes you nothing to divulge her ilness and most certainly not the company you work for, so basically you need to deal with that.
However, their stance as you can cover the workload, which it seems you cannot by your own admission, maybe step back and stop doing so much (??) Or are you worried they will get rid of you if you can't step up? How long have you been there?

Her health/illness and how your employer chooses to manage her sickness record are none of your business whatsoever...

If your workload is too heavy/you have had to pick additional tasks, you need to raise that specific point with your manager and make sure that their expectations of what you can achieve are realistic. Leave your colleague out of it and stop blaming her.

If HR have said that the persistent illness doesn’t need to be flagged it means that there is an issue that is just between the employee and HR/company. This happens a lot in the workplace unfortunately such as when we had a member of staff sadly diagnosed with cancer. The employee’s sickness and your heavy workload are unconnected.

A diagnosis for these types of things can take years OP. I have Ulcerative Colitis and I'll tell you now - when I was battling the worst of it I didn't have the energy to even lift my head off my pillow so any thoughts of what was going on at work would have been non-existent.Try to be mindful of the fact that investigations into digestive issues are ugly - cameras up your arse / down your throat, having to learn the art of bottling shit into plastic tubes with a useless tiny spatula etc so it's understandable that she doesn't want to go into any detail as she may not be comfortable doing so. Your frustration is misplaced with your colleague...be more firm with your management if you're struggling.

The law doesn't agree with you on this though. Reasonable adjustments need to be made for chronic illnesses as required by law.

perhaps she has cancer. At any rate, it's none of your business. If you don't like it, you're welcome to change jobs.

This. They are not self identifying for lols. They are self identifying because they are experiencing disabling symptoms.

Oh, and medical gaslighting absolutely is a thing (for the PP who mention ed her colleague). And ME/CFS is often treated sceptically by doctors. If someone was going to fake an illness to skive off work they would surely choose an illness that gets them sympathy and is easy for a doctor to certify. I had ME and it involved months of investigation before I had a diagnosis. Granted, this was back in the day, but even so. Not saying 100% that colleague isn't skiving, but just saying being disbelieved about ME by doctors is a real thing. And doctor shopping is probably not very possible these days since covid.

In that case why are two of you working one role?

This. My partner has a different colitis. Backwards and forwards to doctors. Cant find anything. Camera found inflammation but couldn't decide exactly what it was. It ruined our holiday because he had no energy and couldn't be far from the toilet. Then when they decided was waiting for consultant and local doctor to speak regarding medication. Finally after at least a year if not longer its finally under control

Entitled to be annoyed at management, not at your collegue....

She may have a disability that she's declared.

Honestly OP unless ger work is transferring to you, roll with it.

Crohns coeliac stomach inflammatory disease. There’s loads of illnesses it could be. Just be glad you aren’t ill

Discounting sick time taken because of disability can be considered as part of ‘reasonable adjustment’ under the Equality Act if the condition meets the definition of disability under the Act. It’s up to employers if/how much discretion they allow so will be decided according to the severity of the condition and what they consider ‘reasonable’ in the circumstances. It doesn’t make you exempt from disciplinary for time off but there is a responsibility for employers to make sure policy and conditions don’t put you at a disadvantage in the workplace because of your disability. So if, for example, redundancy selection included consideration of sick leave, the employer would need to show they had been fair in their treatment of disability related sickness absence, as they could potentially be sued for indirect discrimination in selecting a disabled employee in this way.

Agreed, but in reality all it offers me as double the amount of sick for anyone else, which is fine at the moment but when I was having regular stents (which caused acute pancreatitis, very serious and can be life threatening) I was going back way before I was ready because it wasn’t really much time. At the same time I appreciate my employer didn’t need to keep my job open if I couldn’t offer a reasonable amount of service, but it’s stressful. We had a much more generous amount when my illness began but staff taking advantage meant the triggers reduced massively. Since we have gone hybrid our sickness rate has reduced massively anyway and we don’t tend to have staff off for what I’d consider minor issues now. I felt a huge amount of pressure about losing my job when I was at my sickest and it was so scary. Since a major surgery I’m a lot better but still suffer constant pain. I hope I can keep working until retirement as anyone else but it’s certainly not always easy

OP. I'm sorry you do not work for a British employer who in the first six months threatens to fire you choosing to off sick because they can.

Start of the year back ache which lead to surgery on 27th January 2023 I had to listen to mumsnetters saying I should get my backside into work even though I couldn't stand up. Their back pain was much worse even though I went through a 5-hour operation to stop me being paralysed.
Relied on a walking stick for 6 months and only gave that up because I've a woman's problem which people don't half like to take the pizz from.
Now I've a Fibroid which means nothing to wonderful women who have no symptoms but causes me loads of ongoing problems as I feel the numbness and dragging daily but I'll be lucky to get treated in years.