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Original poster

Has lack of manners stopped you giving things away free?

185 replies

dottypotter · 09/08/2023 22:26

Was going to tip some things I did not need anymore but thought the nice thing to do would be to advertise if someone wanted for free. We are also encouraged to reduce waste etc.

Somebody contacted and said they were interested. I Gave them the address etc and discussed time as you do. Seemed keen to come.

No show, no apology. Im sure not the only person to experience this. I could not be so rude though. If I could not make it I would message.

I wont bother again. Why are people so rude?
They just spoil it.
Has it stopped you giving things away free?😪

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 10/08/2023 15:32

Mojoj · 10/08/2023 14:24

Absolutely. My favourite is when you advertise a big item for free and you get contacted asking if you will deliver the item to them.....

Yep
the last item I put on was large and I was very clear that it was collection only and they might need a van.
I had 7 people ask me to deliver it to various locations “for petrol money”

Nononsensemumsy · 10/08/2023 15:37

This has happened to us more than once. Either that or some scanner will try it on. It’s so annoying I’m straight to the tip now, it’s more hassle than it’s worth and our local tip has a big shed for larger unwanted items that go to charity.

Btrsun10 · 10/08/2023 15:49

O just remembered that I gave away 2 3 seater sofas on Freecycle. Got the usual can you deliver messages which I ignored. Eventually I got a message from a guy who I thought was giving me a bit of a sob story about renting alone for the 1st time etc etc. Anyway, he and his dad turned up when he said they would, in a van and a box of biscuits for me.

SherbetDips · 10/08/2023 16:09

If you use the app olio, you can report now shows as they don’t like no shows. Makes people a bit more reliable.

Catza · 10/08/2023 17:31

I now arrange a charity collection which makes the whole process easier. A lot of the charities will collect toys, books, small appliances and sports equipment and you can just book a collection and leave everything outside.

Original poster
dottypotter · 10/08/2023 17:34

Point taken

Not everyone can leave things outside though
Not everyone has a porch or garden etc.

OP posts:
RumbleMum · 10/08/2023 17:42

Igniteyourbones · 10/08/2023 08:02

I wanted to pass on my much loved children’s cotbed to someone in need. It was a lovely cot from John Lewis still in great condition. So many memories of my 4 babies sleeping in it. I posted it online asking if anyone knew someone pregnant or with a new baby that didn’t have much money and would appreciate a free cot. A lady arranged to come pick it up, put all the dismantled pieces into her car……. Then as she was walking away said “Thanks this will be great for my dog, she’s a bit wild and is a biter, so will be great for keeping her in.” Then jumped in the car and drove off. I was so upset, that’s not at all what I intended when giving it away.

The exact same thing happened with our cotbed - my Mum bought it for us when my eldest was born and getting rid of it was a big deal. I was so upset when the woman mentioned she was using it for her dog as she was loading it in the car. It made me realise I had to either give things away to people I knew or accept that once things are gone I can't have any influence over what happens to them.

The impolite people and the no-shows are so annoying, but they're made up for by the people who say thank you or send you messages or pictures afterwards to show how pleased they are.

Igniteyourbones · 10/08/2023 17:54

RumbleMum · 10/08/2023 17:42

The exact same thing happened with our cotbed - my Mum bought it for us when my eldest was born and getting rid of it was a big deal. I was so upset when the woman mentioned she was using it for her dog as she was loading it in the car. It made me realise I had to either give things away to people I knew or accept that once things are gone I can't have any influence over what happens to them.

The impolite people and the no-shows are so annoying, but they're made up for by the people who say thank you or send you messages or pictures afterwards to show how pleased they are.

Show quote history

Wow can’t believe the same thing happened to you! It honestly broke my heart and it still upsets me to think about it several years later. I agree with you that you have to try let go of what happens with your things when you pass them on……. but I am someone who holds real sentimental value to objects, especially where my children are involved. The only way I could part with the cot was to think of someone else’s lovely baby sleeping in it and knowing that I had done a kind thing for another family. Felt like she trampled on my heart (and I also know how dramatic and ridiculous that sounds!)

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 10/08/2023 17:55

I put stuff on ebay for a quid with all proceeds going to Shelter. Seems a winning combination. Tried freecycle. Just could not be arsed with the time wasters.

Songbird54321 · 10/08/2023 17:56

We either tip or donate to charities. Far less hassle. There’s a family centre at the end of my road which takes loads of home stuff, clothes, toys etc which covers most things I’m clearing out. I have sold things on marketplace in the past but wouldn’t offer free items after the stories I’ve heard. Sad really as genuine people will miss out.

mondaytosunday · 10/08/2023 18:27

Yep no longer do this.
We had a big American fridge. Good working order. Advertised with measurements and made clear it was big, so please measure not only the space it was going to but doorways etc. A couple no shows, a couple came said 'oh no too big'. Was getting fed up with it. Then a guy came, said it would suit, went to get van. He actually did return and took it. But with the no shows and the people who rang and then didn't show or just wasted my time i though I'm not doing that again. (As it happened I ran in to the bloke who took it later that year. He said it didn't actually fit through the door so he took it to the dump, and having a van he had to pay for it)!

Atethehalloweenchocs · 10/08/2023 18:43

Also stops me from buying things in shops if the treatment is bad and rude.

TokyoStories · 10/08/2023 18:49

Well…

Woman one was lovely and turned up on time with a little bunch of flowers for me.

Woman two hasn’t bothered to turn up.

The thing Woman One took was the thing I wanted gone the most so it could’ve been worse!

iwantmyownicecreamvan · 10/08/2023 19:16

Put 2 boxes of toys on my local FB free to collect. Someone said she would collect them so I marked them as taken. She irritated me initially by rantantanning on my door (I thought there was a fire). Then she said she only wanted one of the boxes after all. So I readvertised the others and someone took them almost immediately. Then she messaged me back saying " Yeah I'll have those other toys after all." (Probably realised how much they were worth.) Oh will you just? Is it up to you then? I was unreasonably pleased to be able to tell her they'd already gone.

Another person somehow railroaded us into delivering a chest of drawers to her when it was supposed to be collection only (we just wanted it gone).

Yes - it puts you off, as pp have said, I prefer putting stuff at the front under the porch and saying first come first served - none of this "please may I be considered?" and then not turning up.

Ididntknowuntiliknew · 10/08/2023 19:18

I donated so many children's clothes, games consoles, furniture etc
People pissed me about so much.

Asking for delivery, when I had specifically stated collection only.
Even asking me to deliver a corner sofa. Then asking if it would fit in a taxi.
Some, I agreed to deliver, and nobody was there.
Actually collecting, then scanning my house and asking if they could have other things..
Complaining when they missed out, because they 'promised it to their child' etc

I now donate to a hospice charity.
Otherwise, it goes to the local tip (who resell/donate anything useful).

It was exhausting and upsetting.

iwantmyownicecreamvan · 10/08/2023 19:29

Actually collecting, then scanning my house and asking if they could have other things.

Bloody hell, the cheeky devils!

Katey83 · 10/08/2023 20:05

Quite often people giving things away for ‘free’ are actually just avoiding the fee of having them ethically disposed or the hassle of dumping them. My DH is a removals person in London and the absolute crap people expect he should collect for ‘free’ as he ‘can resell for profit’ is a joke. Dumping the stuff costs money (collecting the stuff often costs a lot with congestion charge, ULEZ, petrol and wages) and no you can’t resell a 30 year old sofa with wee stains/£10 ikea shelving units with holes / a random headboard/used matteress 😂

Frankfurterwuerstchen · 10/08/2023 22:26

Yes! I had a few books that had been read once but we didn't want to keep. I hate throwing books away so I put them on a local free stuff group on Facebook.
Someone answered immediately, and was really keen to come and pick them up.
She messed me around for two weeks as she said from the outset that she was ill. Ok, so if you know you are ill, why arrange to come and pick up books?
Someone else was interested so I said she could have them. Same thing.
I have finally got rid of them after putting them on the same group again.
The lady who came to pick them up was really friendly and brought me a box of chocolates as a thank you.
I don't have the inclination to hang around for mainly unreliable people though and it just makes me want to dump stuff.

anastaisia · 10/08/2023 22:31

I always advertise things I want to give away for just a couple of £s

I find it seems to work like a filter - different people tend to respond and they’re happy to be getting a bargain and are much less likely to mess you around. And if they’re polite and turn up exactly when they said they would then it’s a nice surprise for them when you say never mind about the money.

anon666 · 11/08/2023 17:52

Yes. DH wanted to put stuff on Freecycle and I said no, do eBay.

We've sold things on for £0.99 in the last, glad to be passing them on to a person who will use them.

It puts some structure behind the transaction. Otherwise people seem to think they are doing you a favour by taking it off your hands and it attracts loads of CFs.

On the flip side I offered things on Olio, and the vast majority of those people were great.

So mixed feelings.

Socialistmisanthropist · 11/08/2023 18:25

YES! It really pisses me off..I gave away a couple of chests of drawers I could have sold as I thought it might be nice to help someone out who couldn't afford them. One was picked up by a guy who didn't say anything. As he drove off I screamed " THANK YOU" at his car. Just rude!

Another time I was giving away some free wellies. Loads of mad questions from one woman in and the end I had to respond with " Do you want these FREE wellies or what?" Didn't hear back again. Rude.

Another guy wanted a free and very nice integrated oven I was giving away. Too many questions...made me think he was gonna resell...I spoke to him on the phone and it became obvious my gut feeling was right.

Gave away a climbing frame and a guy came round and moaned cos the screws had a bit of rust on. It WAS free! Texted his wife back and told her how rude he was...

I never want to make any money...I would just like to help people out but rude , grabby people really get on my tits. I'm with you....

IWantOutDoI · 11/08/2023 18:28

dottypotter · 09/08/2023 22:26

Was going to tip some things I did not need anymore but thought the nice thing to do would be to advertise if someone wanted for free. We are also encouraged to reduce waste etc.

Somebody contacted and said they were interested. I Gave them the address etc and discussed time as you do. Seemed keen to come.

No show, no apology. Im sure not the only person to experience this. I could not be so rude though. If I could not make it I would message.

I wont bother again. Why are people so rude?
They just spoil it.
Has it stopped you giving things away free?😪

I often put stuff for sake in Facebook before taking it to the tip/charity shop. I put it up for a fiver and say “first one to pick it up gets it, going to the tip on x date”

celticprincess · 11/08/2023 18:29

I recently posted a large item of furniture for collection and that the person would need to dismantle it. I’m single and don’t have the tools. First person to contact me asks is they can pay me to dismantle. I said no. I offered to help as it’s a 2 person job. They never replied either way so ended up offering to next on the list who was lovely. Came on time, kept in touch before, was very pleasant and thankful for their new item.

I often take things to the tip or charity rather than selling/giving on marketplace or similar platforms as I’ve had mixed experiences. Definitely lots of rude people. At one point I was selling loads of really good quality used kids toys as I needed the money to buy their next Xmas presents so persisted with wading through the time wasters to the people who wanted them.

Allhailkingcharlie · 11/08/2023 18:33

There's always the same woman who wants all the free stuff on my Facebook group!! She lives in the tiniest house and I just can't grasp where she is putting everything.

Furtivefig · 11/08/2023 18:47

I think a lot resale - I’ve noticed that often when I advertise something for free, I am instantly messaged, ‘what’s your postcode’ nothing else, was one messaged I received, and when I look on their profile, they’re selling lots of items.