Has lack of manners stopped you giving things away free?

[dottypotter]

Was going to tip some things I did not need anymore but thought the nice thing to do would be to advertise if someone wanted for free. We are also encouraged to reduce waste etc.

Somebody contacted and said they were interested. I Gave them the address etc and discussed time as you do. Seemed keen to come.

No show, no apology. Im sure not the only person to experience this. I could not be so rude though. If I could not make it I would message.

I wont bother again. Why are people so rude?
They just spoil it.
Has it stopped you giving things away free?😪

I give my stuff to local hospice shops as I can't be bothered to engage with people on these selling sites.

I can't understand the ones that are always asking if people are giving away specific things then a week later looking for something else for free I never see them offering anything - it's all I want, I want

My mum and dad when they were in their late 70s gave away a settee and I was really angry to find out that the two of them had carried it to this persons house 10 minutes walk away - because the man had a bad back and couldn't lift things!!

Yes, I've totally given up and tip everything that isn't for the local charity shop. During covid a FB Marketplace lady promised she was coming to collect a perfectly good kids wardrobe that evening, DH and I carried it out the house, wiped it down with antibacterial spray to keep everyone safe etc. DH went to work and the lady kept messaging saying I'm on my way but never turned up leaving me with a wardrobe sitting on the driveway for hours as i couldn't move it on my own. Naturally it then pissed with rain hours later and ruined it and the perfectly decent expensive wardrobe ended up the tip.

Never again, being kind and generous isn't worth the hassle.

Isn't that the sort of bollocks they come out with on those American/US style lockup auction programmes? I'd block anybody who says it, gives a bloody great Britain's Got Talent spiel about the traumatic reasons why they must have it or has any of the selling shows in their likes.

However, we generally don't have stuff to give away that isn't fit for the bin, so it's a fairly academic rant these days...

Sorry but this made me snort. I would struggle to compose a reply to that message 🤣

I was abroad once and despite my tour guide's instructions I gave money to some young children. At that point I was mobbed and the kids followed me to my coach and in the end took 20 quid
After that I never give to people on the streets which has saved me a lot of money. I just say sorry several times until they disappear

Depending on where you were and if the children genuinely had nothing, there's a way round that ... if you're going to give, do it just as you get on the bus, in the car or whatever to save the follow-on hassle

Yes OP, rudeness has stopped me giving away stuff for free! We have a local facebook page where people give stuff for free. I had quite a few things from my parents's house when they passed away and I used to put a few things on there (vases, tea set etc). There was some argument about who had got what and a woman ended up banging on my door repeatedly shouting that I'd promised her a cut glass vase and she wanted it. I hadn't promised it at all and had already had several items free. She was literally crying and pouting at my door. I just gave up, came off the facebook group never gave anything else away! I either donate to charity if I think it's really nice or junk it. Too much hassle. A couple of people were actually lovely though - one lady had a teaset and she sent me a pic of her table all laid with it for her birthday tea - that was nice to know it was used and appreciated!

I've supposedly got two people coming today to collect things, but neither has confirmed after I sent my address yesterday and one of them had no manners at all in her messages. I'm pretty confident neither will show up.

I give everything away for free rather than chuck it if possible. Yes, you get the odd rude no show/no apologies
But most people do show up, and are very grateful. Why punish all the nice people because of the behaviour of one?

I once offered a large boxed celebration cake (all covered in pick iced roses) from Sainsburys which IIRC I paid £18 for but it was due to pass its best before date that day or next day. I'd over catered for a family party and no way would I have got through this cake before it went stale, so put it on my local FB group and said first to come and get it could have it, and to make me a an offer re price (allowing people to offer according to their means).

This cake got so much attention - I had long messages with tales of woe: one person was disabled and wanted it delivered, a gay man insisted I sold it to him because it was pink "and everyone knows the gays love pink", a woman said she wanted to treat her sons as she couldn't get them to sit down and talk to her but maybe this cake would tempt them. In the end the woman with sons could get to me first. She swung by in a very nice open-top car, looking like Stifler's Mom, and when she had the cake in her hands, told me (a) her sons were actually in their twenties and (b) she'd got no money on her, so gave me a handful of change from her parking pot - about £1.70.

I felt exhausted from all the emotional baggage I'd had dumped on me, not to mention aggrieved that it hadn't gone to a genuinely needy person or that I hadn't at least recouped a reasonable amount for it

Now I name my price. I do not enter into negotiations. And I eat any leftover cakes.

Yeah I'm the same.

Additionally I don't think the world is perfect. A fair % of people are just a bit thick, not organised, have other things that crop up, are rude, greedy, ungrateful, have no empathy or understanding or others or just generally twatish..
Always has been always will be.
To not understand that, think everyone should be like them and get stroppy when they're not.. well it must make planet Earth a very frustrating place to live 😂😂

The HEIGHT of CF-ery. Surely no one can beat that?!

I’ve never had any problems selling or giving away online but I did stop taking to a particular local charity shop due to their rudeness. I came in with a large bag of clothes (all clean, good labels etc) and tried to attract the attention of the two ladies talking behind the till. Eventually one of them just pointed to the door at the back of the shop without even acknowledging me, and said to her friend ‘of course this time of year you get lots of people dumping their old tat on you’! They never got a donation from me again.

We offered for sale two matching M&S sofas.Included the measurements, details and said we wouldn't deliver.
Several asked if we would deliver..or what were the measurements....FFS
One lady asked if I thought it would go through her front door...

On the flip side - I gave away our old fridge freezer to a lovely man who turned up to collect and and gave us a big bag of artisanal bread and cakes from his bakery in return ❤️

Yes, two instances recently.

No 1 was in the charity shop in my town. I took a couple of bags in there to donate, and was met with: "Well all right, we'll take them just this once, but no more today".

No 2 was a van driver employed by another local charity to collect some furniture from a probate house we are selling. He managed to reverse his van over NDN's garden and damage their fence. Didn't seem in the slightest bit apologetic and got quite stroppy with DH.

What is wrong with expecting basic manners, @JusthereforXmas? I don’t think anyone is expecting grovelling and praise - just please, thank you, and the courtesy of turning up when you say you will.

Manners cost nothing.

Absolutely. My favourite is when you advertise a big item for free and you get contacted asking if you will deliver the item to them.....

Yeah I tend to do the nominal amount thing. I had a printer on for £1 just so it didn't come up when people searched for free items. When the fella came to collect it he insisted I take the quid despite me telling him to just take it.

One time I was selling some old toys before Christmas, I had a few listings, mostly for a few quid here and there to put towards new stuff. One person asked if they could have something for free for their kid, and asked if I could deliver. Usually I'd say no but it wasn't being used and thought they must be desperate to be asking. It was a bit far away to be worth the drive so I just posted it. Think it cos me about a fiver.

Thought nothing more of it but a couple of days after Christmas they sent me a picture of the kid with the stuff I'd sent, saying thank you and she loved it. Made my day.

For that reason I try not to throw things away if they're still good, there's plenty I would give away if people ask but I do find putting even a low price on puts a lot of folk off😂

I was moving last year and offered some books for free - they were cookery and baking books - really nice expensive ones and heavy.

I had a lady ask if she could have them. Yes no problem etc.

Next message what bus would she need to catch. Told her it was a rural village, no bus stop in easy walking distance and there was no way she would carry them.

Next message said she would be getting the bus but it might take her a while as she was 9 months pregnant. Told her not to be ridiculous.

I was doing a running commentary with my mate at this point - our next guess was walking barefoot carrying a toddler.

Told me she was sending her husband round on his way back from work so I left outside under the porch. No show.

Then I got how she just wasn't sure how she was going to get them and could I help?

She lived about an hours drive away. Politely told her it really wasn't my problem to sort - she obviously thought at one point I would cave and say I would drive them to her.

Contacted the next person and she came and picked them up for her granddaughter with a thank-you and they were out of my hair. Sorted.

I've given quite a lot away but you do get messed around quite a bit but I've had lovely people turn up too. Your post just reminded me of that one as it was quite funny 😄 'she' was probably a man wanting to flog them somewhere.

One of the things I hate the most though is when people tell you what you should be doing with the items you are giving away.

One of my dogs was incredibly fussy as a pup and as a result I would often end up with half eaten bags of dog food that I would end up putting on our local free site. I didn't care who had it. Whoever wanted/needed it and turned up could have it. So many times I would have PA comments about how I should be giving it to a charity and how I should be checking if people 'needed' it. WTF? For a start our local dog charity is a bunch of self congratulating wotsits who care more about the glory than they ever do about an animal but I I just wanted it taking off my doorstep or it would have gone in the bin.

In the end I ended up swapping foods with a woman with a fussy bulldog who had come to get the first lot 😁

When I got a new kitchen (a few years ago), I had some decent appliances to get rid of. My son put them on Facebook, as free, to get rid of them quick.

First item went within 5 minutes to someone close by. They told my son that they had arranged to buy the same item from someone else. However when they borrowed a car and went to collect it, the seller said they had had lots of interest and had changed their mind about the price and now wanted an extra £20 for it! They couldn’t afford the extra, so didn’t get it.

It was lucky for them, as they got my 2 year old washing machine, in perfect condition, for nothing. Being close by, they and my son were even able to carry it to their house. They were very grateful and actually offered the amount they had agreed with their previous seller for it, which was refused. The thanks I received, from someone who really needed it, was more than enough payment. It is apparently still working perfectly for them, over 3 years later.

If no please or thank you, I'm not even replying!
I once gave a trampoline away. It was scruffy but still perfectly usable.
I stated that it had to be dismantled (as I couldnt be arsed).
Woman and her husband came, took it away and afterward sent the most lovely thank you video of her 2 boys bouncing on the rebuilt, cleaned up trampoline.
They were so happy and her and the DH we so grateful.
Made me happy too 🙂

Missing the point.
When they don't turn up and don't message its rude.
I arrange to be in.
I cannot just leave things outside.

It’s so rude isn’t it. I’ve had repeated no shows, people asking if I can deliver even tho I always put collection only and the postcode on
the post! I won’t wait in now, it’s left out on the step behind a plant pot. Lots of people don’t say thank you

Yes it stops me.

On olio I was giving stuff away, if anyone says "I want this" and that's all it says, I just think "tough shit" and block them.

If they can't be bothered with manners, they're not gonna show up.

I've given so much stuff away on there now I can almost guarantee who will and won't turn up by the tone of their first message.

If they're new to the app I give them a chance, but if they're not, they don't get anything from me unless they put a time and date for collection in their first message.