Husband has been a heroin addict for a year - only found out now

[Pleasepleasehelpme123]

I wrote a massively long message explaining everything and it deleted and o actually just do not have it in me right now to write it out again.

does anyone have experience with heroin or been involved with someone who has?

I separated from my husband a year ago because he was useless, lazy and abusive. I left with the hope that it would give him the kick up his arse he needs to change. We have a 3 year old daughter. I caught him smoking heroin in a public loo. He was a heroin addict from the age of 16-18. We met when he was 22. He is now 32. In between that time he’s had issues with weed and alcohol.

I’ve told him I will give him the chance to get his family back of he gets clean. I’ve told him I will support him and get him through this but he has to never do it again. he is refusing to get the implant because he says he’s kicked the habit over ten years ago with the implant and he can do it again and he doesn’t want an operation for something to be put under his skin as a constant reminder of what he’s done. I think he’s bullshitting. He’s nearly over the worst of his physical withdrawals.

I have no experience with this but from what I’ve read online he will lie and say anything to get what’s he wants. I can see that it’s not even him I’m talking to, it’s like he’s been taken over by someone else. I terrified. I left him because he didn’t make family like nice, he made it hellish, but I can’t bear to lose him, I can’t bear for my chold’s father to be a junkie which is as good as dead or literally end up dead.

I’ve told him I’ll give him another chance to get his family back but I don’t think I even mean it. I’m just saying anything to get him clean.

plase if anyone has any actual experience with this stuff could they please message me. I need real advice. I have to say I tried for my child to spare them having a junky or dead father.

any tips any anything please I’ll be so grateful.

i don’t know if I can believe a word he says.

I have some experience of heroin addicts (former friends have descended into heroin addiction). Run like the wind and don't look back. Do not submit your kids to this and do not try to save or "support" him. You can't and you will drag yourself down if you try to. Some people do get off it, most don't.

It's hard to express strongly enough how big a mistake you will make if you stay with this man.

A relationship with any kind of addict will destroy your children (my dad and my ex husband were alcoholics. I left).

Heroin is several leagues of magnitude more dangerous and harder to get off. The withdrawal is bad but the real killer is the long term psychological stuff. Opiates such as heroin "rewire" the pleasure centres in people's brains so they struggle to feel happy or contented when they are not using.

Heroin addicts lie every time they open their mouths. They have no capacity for any real relationship other than with the drug.

I implore you not to stay with him.

There's a lot of very stigmatising things being said here. Please remember that addiction is a disease and he is not necessarily choosing to use the substance in the way a non-addicted person would. His brain and decision making is being affected.

Adfam is a great charity to support you and your daughter. They have all the research on the subject and provide support to families based upon that.

It's great that you're focusing on how to protect yourself and your child. Good luck.

Yes, but fuck him and his decision making skills? Obviously shit?

Although I see what you are saying, regardless of his impaired decision making she really can’t save him, protect him from himself or watch him self destruct which is almost inevitable unfortunately l. All she can do is protect herself and her little one and hope one day he cleans himself up. Adfam are fab too I hope OP you do reach out to them xx

Hello. Yes I have experience with heroin/addiction with someone. Would be happy to chat but it would be very outting. Is there a private way to chat on here?

Draw a line under this relationship. Move on. Show your daughter an example of a strong, sober, protective mother.

Get therapy to help you to figure out what is so terrifying for you about doing this.

shame on you. this man is innocent. shame on everyone here

What are you talking about?

Taking drugs is a choice and yes people can become addicted but unless they were addicted from birth, which sadly can happen, people make the choice to start drugs in the first place

Did you not read OP's first post properly?

Before she found out about his addiction: I separated from my husband a year ago because he was useless, lazy and abusive.

Hardly innocent.

Lol, maybe OP can direct him to you? I guarantee once you've had a Heroin addict, in active addiction in your life, you'll soon join the chorus of people who have posted here.

Congrats on having a life so sheltered you get to enjoy the level of naivete, you've shown here.

What the hell he is innocent 😳 no one said he is a criminal but guess what drugs lead to crime , they lead to broken marriages, relationships ,homes , they mess us all aspects of your life yes it is a disease but its not her body and she shouldn't waste her life trying to save him from himself I would only do that for my childq

No shame on you! Unless you’ve been through this torture of being in a relationship with a heroin addict, then I suggest you trot on.