Inheritance treated as a 'hand out'

[LittleMissUnreasonable]

I constantly see posts and hear comments about people inheriting money and it being treated like a massive privilege and an exciting thing. Almost said in jealousy sometimes. For example some of the things I've heard are;
" Well at least you'll benefit from the money"
"X is so lucky to have a head start"
"X didn't work hard, it was all inherited"
" They want do they found buying a house easy with the inheritance money"

I find all the disparaging comments about people inheriting money having it easy really disrespectful. I certainly remembered feeling disgusted when I was younger (and I lost someone very close) that people acted though I've been given a massive hand out in life. I'm pretty sure most people would want their mum/dad/partner back and don't give 2 hoots about the money.

My friend's very working class Dad in his 60s has just inherited half a million from his parents estate which significantly changes his life. He doesn't care. Just wants his parents back

I was referring more to "loss with inheritance VS no loss and no inheritance" argument.

But everyone dies. Everyone experiences loss eventually.

The problem with the OPs thinking is that it compared death with inheritance to no death at all. The pertinent comparison is death with inheritance to death without.

let's face it, aside from the not nice side of losing a family member, inheritance is generally a massive benefit not afforded to everyone. so anyone receiving it will be at a massive financial advantage vs your every day person who doesn't. The difference between buying a house and not these days usually comes down to those who are gifted generous deposits by wealthy parents, or those who inherit money from a wealthy family. So the difference it can make to your life cannot be denied! So no wonder people go on about it.

It is lucky. It’s not nice that someone died but a lot of people inherit nothing when their parents die so getting hundreds of thousands of pounds you didn’t work for is lucky.

The privilege is showing. It's easy not to care about money when one has plenty of it.

OP, I think it’s a privilege to even consider that with every death, comes an inheritance.

I don't think it's really that simple. Everyone has to die and it's less about taking away from the greif that comes with loss, but rather the harsh bitterness that we all feel when we're working our behinds off to progress and be comfortable, and then watching someone drive by and get ahead on [yes] a handout. It's immature to call it jealousy. Rather as I've grown older, I realise how unfair life really is. Those who really do have integrity and work hard but barely move forward are allowed to feel a bit angry, while others who probably also have integrity and work hard, just suddenly are given a life changing cash injection! It leaves a sour taste in most mouths. Its called being human to feel bitter and even angry over it, more than it being jealousy. I am not a jealous person at all most times and enjoy a good life. But when I've seen people who have really only worked and sacrificed half as much; get ahead, it does leave me feeling 'how tf is this fair'?! I'm not proud of it, nor happy with feeling this way. At first I'd hate myself for feeling this way, but now I'm a little more forgiving with myself, because it isn't fair and that's the bottom line.

I'm pretty sure most people would want their mum/dad/partner back and don't give 2 hoots about the money.

Have you ever spoken to any...people?

Families argue about wills and inheritance all the time. There are weekly threads on it.

Doesn’t matter how old they die, even if it is young, it’s still a handout.

I’ve known many who have lost parents very young and got nothing. The fact of the matter is a whole load of money doesn’t make the grief less, but it does make the financial strain a world apart compared to if no money was left.

What are you trying to prove?

If someone lost their husband in an accident and got £1 million compensation, and then someone else lost their husband and got fuck-all, then yeah I would say 'it's all right for some...' Because the one with the million £ would be at a massive advantage compared to the one who got naff-all. Why are you suggesting any different?

Surely it's obvious that the one with a massive inheritance has a big advantage over the one who doesn't. Come OFF it. That is common sense. I don't mean like seven grand like someone said earlier. That comparison is moot. We are on about life changing handouts.

This exactly! It's not that hard to understand. LOADS of people lose loved ones and get nothing... So yeah it is an advantage when someone gets a big sum of money as an inheritance.

This! ^

Succinctly put, but this is spot on.

I think saying "it's alright for some" when someone has lost someone they care about is disgusting no matter how much money they may have got. I'd maybe think it if someone got a huge inheritance from an unknown relative they never met, but never about someone they cared about. Certainly not if they'd lost a child in an accident even if they got 100 million.
It's alright for some is only reasonable in the case of like a lottery win. Never death of a loved one.

This

.

I've lost both my parents as has DH.

DH got nothing but debt and heartache
I got some inheritance and heartache

Neither of us felt less distraught by losing a parent, but I did get money I hadn't worked for.

I think where the waters are muddied are because my whole life, my dad worked his arse off because he wanted to leave me something. He talked about it endlessly and I knew I would get something. DHs dad was a drunk and a gambler who could have left something but wasted fortunes and his life.

Neither of us 'deserved' an inheritance any more than the other, but our father's different personalities (rather than circumstance) dictated that I inherited and DH didn't.

It's hard to think that's fair. In our case it doesn't matter because my inheritance (not huge) was his too in my book. But is it fair? No. HOWEVER is it my 'fault'? Also no.

If you lose someone, it's better to get an inheritance than not surely?

It makes life a lot easier having money, one less thing to worry about! (P.S. I've never had an inheritance and am unlikely to, no wealthy relatives)

It's inappropriate for people who are unaffected by someone's death to express their jealousy about someone who was very affected by the death inheriting money. But I can see why someone would think, "I wish my mum left me 1 million pounds. All I got when my dad died was a taxidermied rabbit and a bag of broken watches." But it's petty and they should keep it to themselves.

Yeah see now I don't get this OP - although I feel differently to you I'm still glad you've started a thread to see what opinions are. It's madness to say money doesn't make like easier, so if someone receives an inheritance then I don't see it as a hand out, more a hand up. They are entitled to the money (normally!) but its still a help to them in some way.

Some people will receive it as a result of a terrible loss, some people will receive it as a result of a relative dying that they neither knew nor cared about. But to pretend it won't help is ridiculous. If inheritance isn't an advantage then just leave it all to charity! A neighbour recently received around £1m after his parent died. He assuaged his grief with 4 top of the range new cars. The relative lived to a good age, and he saw the death as a relief that he wouldn't have to provide any care, but nonetheless was and still is grieving.

My friend's husband died, she went on a world cruise and bought a new house outright. She still posts about her loss every day but at least she's not scrabbling around to pay the heating bill.

My mum died when I was 13, she had no money to leave, so we still lived in poverty (even more so without her wages). If she'd had left some money, she would have been so relieved to help (she knew she was dying) but also it would have been better to be grief stricken by a life changing death with some cash, rather than without enough money for basics.

People lose parents very young and get zero inheritance , they have grief equal to yours.

They have the loss but no “ Free money “

Inheritance IS life changing for many people.

It’s usually those who have an inheritance that say “ I’d rather have XYZ back” - It’s unearned wealth, whichever way you look at it.

If you lose someone, it's better to get an inheritance than not surely?

Absolutely. Anyone saying any different has clearly lost someone and had a massive inheritance... so they don't know what it's like to lose someone and get nothing. Whilst it's shit to lose someone, of COURSE they are at an advantage to someone who lost someone and got nothing. I can't believe anyone would say any different.

Easy to say when you have been given a huge handout I suppose. But very insulting to those who lost someone and got nothing, and even got landed with debt! .

Death of a loved one is going to happen no matter what. Inheritances are a privilege to have. I don't see the point of this thread.

Some people in life are jealous some aren't. Some will wish you all the best others hope you lose all your cash.

If you get something from a will great, if not it is what it is.

I can tell you that being left nothing but debts - not even anything to pay for their funeral - is worse. You have the grief of losing a loved one and the constant stress and worry of dealing with creditors and trying to make your own finances stretch so that you can bury them.

@HangerLaneGyratorySystem Great post.
My mum died when I was 2yrs old

Zero buffer of inheritance like you.
Hopefully I’ll leave my son a useful sum
I hope he spends it wisely.