Granparent overreacting?

[Cantsleep23]

Me and my partner had a baby only 4 months ago and we both said we wouldn't be allowing her to be away from us until we feel ready ourselves, she's my partners first child. My partners stepmum, who he classes as his mum has asked if she can take our daughter out for a few hours to spend some time with her. We have said we are happy for her to come and visit her at our home or we would meet her for tea but would rather she didn't take her out without us until she's older (around the time she wanted to pick her up she would be due a bottle and a sleep) we've tried to be polite and tell her were not ready for her to be away from us yet but she's taken it the totally wrong way and has said "oh so we can only have supervised visits" and "she's our bloody granddaughter" and just not taking our feelings into consideration.
My partner works away Alot so hasn't managed to get the bond with her that he wants so he's wanting to spend as much time with her as he can before he has to work away again and I work part time so I've obviously got the bond with her
Are we being unreasonable with the grandparents for telling them they can spend the time with her while she's with us? They have 3 other grandchildren who they are "popping round to see" so why do they only want to take our baby out for a few hours? We are feeling really under pressure to have to say yes to them and let them take her but we don't want to

Well said @MzHz.

I feel so sorry for these new mothers being so imposed upon.

I have NEVER heard of it in real life.
NEVER.

Only on batshit MN threads like this do you have new mothers having to deal with entitled parents demanding "their go off" their baby like its some toy.

Grandparents, good, bad, indifferent, have zero entitlement to spend one on one time with ANY grandchild unless the babys MOTHER is 100% happy with this decision.

NOT the father.

The babys mother, that carried and delivered the baby, gets to decide if she is happy for her new baby to be away from her.

I cannot imagine what type of people think they have some right to think they can demand the sole use of a 4 month old at a specific time and cause drama because they are told no, ....actually, the parents have no wish, need, desire to have their baby to be away from them.

I can honestly say if me or any of my friends had come across this in any shape or form it would have been so brutally and finally shut down.

Fortunately like I wrote, I have simply NEVER heard of this.

Its completely batshit.

Presumably MIL could also say "would you like me to come to yours one evening and babysit?"

@MillicentTrilbyHiggins be interesting to know if she has

Or maybe she knows the answer will be no

Op hasn't come back and said yes she would be happy for mil to put gc to bed and babysit while she is at work

That makes more sense to me that change working hours /evenings if older siblings are busy

Seriously, for every post around this topic there seems to be a group of posters throwing the PFB comments, labeling the mother as precious, and pointing out the grandparent has a right to bond with their GC as they wish.

Actually, no they don’t. Noone has a “right” to alone time with a baby if the parent says no, for any reason. It’s not a toy that people should be saying “my turn!” over. And ffs a 4 month old won’t grow up with anxiety because it wasn’t handed over to MIL for alone time when she requested 🙄

Fwiw I had my MIL babysit for a couple hours when DD was 2 weeks old and me and DH wanted a little break. However that was my decision and everyone is different and can have their own reasons to say no to whoever they please.

@billy1966, the father absolutely gets equal say, imo.

In our house, we use the ‘two yes, one no’ rule. We both agree, or it doesn’t happen.