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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children's party, lunch etiquette

340 replies

FisherThem · 08/08/2023 08:32

Mum to DD4, just starting the round of while class parties. Went to a soft play party, 1230-1430, lunch included.

Was I being unreasonable to assume that there would be some refreshments for parents as well as kids?

OP posts:
2mummies1baby · 08/08/2023 08:33

Yes, I would say that's a bit too much to expect. Lovely if included, but not a necessity.

YourNameGoesHere · 08/08/2023 08:34

If it was a soft play place you could have grabbed yourself something if hungry or thirsty surely?

It's really not the norm or the expectation that parents are fed or offered refreshments at children's birthday parties.

Whenwillglorioussummercome · 08/08/2023 08:34

Yes. It’s all about the kids - the party package is per child per head and includes food for them. Adults get their own if eating/drinking anything. Some people might buy parents a hot drink if they stay.

Radgreen · 08/08/2023 08:34

Totally normal to only provide food/drinks for the kids at a soft play type party, I'm not sure I've been to any with refreshments for adults. Parties in a hall I find coffee/tea is put on, but not in places where it would be a significant extra expense.

Yellowcar2 · 08/08/2023 08:34

At a soft play centre I would assume adults would buy their own. Parties are already expensive especially if whole class.

Popsicle42 · 08/08/2023 08:34

Yes, YABU. I always assume there won’t be. Sometimes there are some biscuits or crisps specifically for the adults, but that’s the exception in my experience.

Gymmum82 · 08/08/2023 08:34

Yes YABU. Refreshments are not usually provided at kids parties. At soft play you’d be expected to buy your own. At a hall/bouncy castle type party you might get offered a cup of tea.
Parties are expensive enough as it is without having to cater for parents as well

ChurlishGreen · 08/08/2023 08:35

Yes, expecting too much. We usually bought the other parents coffee if we were giving a soft play party, but certainly the vast majority of the ones we went to, when DS needed a parent to stay, didn’t offer.

Original poster
FisherThem · 08/08/2023 08:36

Fair enough! I've only hosted at home and feed anyone I'm hosting regardless of age! Can't afford their prices for a meal at the moment. Next time illl plan better

OP posts:
JMSA · 08/08/2023 08:36

I think that's unreasonable, sorry. Most adults can go 2 hours without eating or drinking (and I say that as a porker myself Grin), or can order their own while there.
If it was a party at someone's house, or the park, I'd think it a bit mean if adults were expected to stay and not offered anything. But not at soft play. And it's expensive enough.

coodawoodashooda · 08/08/2023 08:36

Yabu. These parties cost a fortune.

Whattodo112222 · 08/08/2023 08:36

What I find at parties is that parents just eat whatever is leftover from what the kids didn't eat.

I wouldn't expect lunch however.

WandaWonder · 08/08/2023 08:36

I never ever expect food for adults it is a kids party for kids

DappledThings · 08/08/2023 08:37

YABU. At a soft play I'd expect to buy my own coffee. At a village hall party I'd expect an offer of a tea or coffee but nothing else. Plenty of leftover party food is a free for all after the children have finished.

35965a · 08/08/2023 08:37

I always assume food only for the children, especially at a soft play type place as the packages are specific.

Even at a home/village hall type party I assume that too because catering for a load of parents is costly, although at those types of parties usually we’ve been told to help ourselves as they do cater for more.

WhamBamThankU · 08/08/2023 08:39

Every soft play party I've been to parents buy their own refreshments. I've spent many lovely hours drinking a coffee in peace at soft play!

Original poster
FisherThem · 08/08/2023 08:41

Thanks for the info. Good to know for the future!

Secondary qu. Is it normal for the sandwiches offered to be jam?

OP posts:
YourNameGoesHere · 08/08/2023 08:42

FisherThem · 08/08/2023 08:41

Thanks for the info. Good to know for the future!

Secondary qu. Is it normal for the sandwiches offered to be jam?

What's wrong with jam sandwiches? It's a very normal sandwich filling??

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 08/08/2023 08:43

Yabu. I always expect to buy a coffee at soft play if I go with the kids for a party.

Coffeeforus · 08/08/2023 08:43

The only time adults have been offered refreshments at parties DS has been to is if they’ve been held in a hall. Sometimes if there is lots of leftover pizza and birthday cake then it’s been offered around to parents at soft plays and trampoline parks. So, you should expect nothing and bonus if you do get offered.

Flippingflamingo · 08/08/2023 08:44

I wouldn’t be impressed if the only offering for kids was jam sandwiches as I don’t let my kids eat them.

Food for adults never provided at a venue party. Sometime provided at a village hall/home venue.

I always take tea/coffee and Prosecco when hosting a party.

Hufflepods · 08/08/2023 08:44

Yes YABU.

Skyblue92 · 08/08/2023 08:45

Definitely only kids get feed especially at soft plays where parent platters can cost £10 and only feed four.
only jam sandwiches? That I would say isn’t normal as usually or you should be asked whether ham, cheese or jam or that’s what I would do and any party my daughter has gone to has done

Hufflepods · 08/08/2023 08:45

YourNameGoesHere · 08/08/2023 08:42

What's wrong with jam sandwiches? It's a very normal sandwich filling??

Show quote history

Is it?? Jam sandwiches are utter garbage. Even in the 90s school wouldn’t have let you have them for lunch.

KateyCuckoo · 08/08/2023 08:47

God you sound like a massive pain in the arse. Don't be surprised if the invites dry up very quickly for your child.